July 31

Post 905, Day 212 of 2013
- and 943 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

I wanted to answer Andy's comment on yesterday's Daily Comment here, today, because it reminded me...

First of all, there was a flaw in what I wrote yesterday, which Andy caught (and amplified): I talked about the joy in expectation, and didn't make that clear. As Andy knows, I am full of gratitude and joy every day I wake up - and the first minutes of every day, when I meditate - are celebrations of that. These are times when there is no 'later'.

But then I prepare for the rest of the day, and while I spend every conscious minute grateful, there is less joy knowing the rest of the day will not be spent pursuing my own bliss (as it were) in the present. 

Instead, I will remove myself to a place of work; and while I am grateful as can be for my good fortune at being able to work and having a job to work at, the job does not inspire joy.

The joy of my job comes from contemplating its end for the day, or for the week, and permanently, when I retire in thirty years.

There are quite a few things that I have pushed off for retirement, all of which would be good for me right now, none of which I feel are right for right now, for one reason or another. I never think about these things when I am in the moment, and that's one indication that they're not current needs.

I've said before, and will say again - this is the best time of my life, and I'm profoundly grateful. whenever I think about now, I'm full of joy.

And gratitude. The difference is, I'm grateful all the time, joyful only when I'm present - and not being that good at mindfulness, that isn't all the time, at least not consciously.

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 Food and Diet Section

2013 Daily Weight

Today's Weight:         211.0 lbs

Yesterday's Weight:     210.6 lbs

Day Net Loss/Gain:      + 0.4 lbs

Diet Comment

So, how's that soft-serve at work everyday doing for you? Ha! About as well as my new 2-Protein Bar-a-day habit. I'll stop the latter before the former, though.

Food Log 

Breakfast
Chia gel.

Lunch
At Ling-Ling's Chinese Buffet and Grill:

Brussels sprouts, kimchee, and, from the "Mongolian Grill", my go-to dish, pork and chicken with cabbage, onions, mushrooms, green peppers and broccoli.

Snack
Soft-serve ice cream.

Dinner
Eaten very late: a Protein bar, a bowl of Ezekiel Sprouted grain cereal with blueberries, almond-coconut milk and coconut sugar.

Liquid Intake   

   Coffee:  32 oz.   Water: 64+ oz. 2 shots of Jameson's.

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July 30

Post 904, Day 211 of 2013
- and 942 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

To wake up in the morning with joy at what the day may bring. That's what I want, and that's why I am looking forward to retirement.

Right now, I know what I would like to wake up to, but I don't, because it is dependent on other people - and that is the part I will gladly give up upon retirement.

Today, I have a job I would gladly not go to, but I have a goal in mind that requires me to stick it out for exactly 914 more days. If that proves impossible, so be it, I will, as they say, burn that bridge when I come to it. Meanwhile, that day represents the first day I will have my IBM pension (starts a year earlier), my VA pension (vested 50 days earlier), and full Social Security benefits.

Until then, five days a week, I wake up and, like most people, I have to go to work. 

The thing I would like to do is to wake up and play music with my band, but that isn't likely to happen for even one day, thanks to it involving four other people with their own (different) priorities. 

Since I'm eleven to twenty years closer to being able to do that than any of the other band members, I can say with some certainty, this may never come to pass.

Thus, my other retirement plan.

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 Food and Diet Section

2013 Daily Weight

Today's Weight:         210.6 lbs

Yesterday's Weight:     210.4 lbs

Day Net Loss/Gain:      + 0.2 lbs

Diet Comment

I thought I would lose weight after yesterday's minimal eating. What do I know?

Food Log 

Breakfast
Cocoa-kale-hemp-chia protein shake: Almond milk, kale, a large egg, cocoa, hemp seeds, chia seeds, vanilla whey powder (24g protein), cinnamon, vanilla, psyllium and stevia-inulin blend.

Lunch

Roasted turkey breast with red beans on Spring Mix and red cabbage with balsamic vinaigrette. 

Snack
Soft-serve ice cream. Later, a Protein bar

Dinner
Egg salad on coconut Paleo bread, with red cabbage slaw.

Snack
A Protein bar.

Liquid Intake   

   Coffee:  28 oz.   Water: 144+ oz. 

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July 29

Post 903, Day 210 of 2013
- and 941 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

Here's why I plan stuff, why I wish I didn't have to, and, maybe, why it works (when it does).

If you live naturally, you live with all the people you need to see to live your life with a reasonable expectation of happiness and survival, both of yourself and your loved ones. No planning needed. 

Civilization came about 10,000 years ago, largely due to the agricultural revolution, which saw humans transition from hunter-gatherer to domesticator and cultivator. This, in turn, led  to alterations in the nomadic lifestyle, e.g., settlements, and with settlements, an expansion of the tribal concept. Families lived near each other. And families from other tribes lived near each other.

Planting and harvesting happened on a schedule. Cooperation was required by cultivation, and cooperation was required for harvesting.

Civilization, then, brings you into contact, forces you to connect, with people you don't need. People who may, in fact, enhance your life and/or entertain you, but whose absence from your life, from a survival and happiness point-of-view, are unnecessary.

The unnecessary is always where things get sticky.

The tribal family is the pre-civilization unit that worked to insure the survival and possibly the improvement of human beings for almost the entire existence of the species. It survives, in its way, post-civilization, but in an environment that distracts from the essential.

You don't have to plan things with people you live with. Encounters are inevitable and unavoidable. Only when you move outside of this core group does planning come into play. Immediately, a schedule other than your own must be taken into consideration.

That's the hallmark of civilization: The appointment.

Planning is how you aim your sense of time to keep an appointment.

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 Food and Diet Section

2013 Daily Weight

Today's Weight:         210.4 lbs

Yesterday's Weight:     210.2 lbs

Day Net Loss/Gain:      + 0.2 lbs

Diet Comment

I thought I would lose weight after yesterday's minimal eating. What do I know?

Food Log 

Breakfast
Cocoa-kale-hemp-chia protein shake: Almond milk, kale, a large egg, cocoa, hemp seeds, chia seeds, vanilla whey powder (24g protein), cinnamon, vanilla, psyllium and stevia-inulin blend.

Lunch

Dal Tadka and scrambled eggs. Not shown: Salad with Spring Mix, red cabbage and balsamic vinaigrette.

Snack
Soft-serve ice cream. Later, a Protein bar

Dinner

Italian-style Chicken Sausage (with onion and peppers) with dijon mustard and mashed broccoli with butter and herbs.

Snack
A Protein bar.

Liquid Intake   

   Coffee:  20 oz.   Water: 112+ oz. 

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July 28

Post 902, Day 209 of 2013
- and 940 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

Another nothing day - nothing until I went out to play. Then a fairly lackluster night. The first set I played was pretty good and a lot of fun - the last two, completely forgettable, thanks to some mediocre playing by the leads in the first case, drums in the second.

After that last set, I had a drummer friend take me to task for not taking the lead in the rhythm section. I had to shrug - that's how off the drummer was. I was leading the rhythm section: Unfortunately, you can lead a drummer to rhythm, but you can't make him swing.

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 Food and Diet Section

2013 Daily Weight

Today's Weight:         210.2 lbs

Yesterday's Weight:     211.6 lbs

Day Net Loss/Gain:      - 0.6 lbs

Diet Comment

I don't understand why I didn't gain weight, what with eating an entire apple crisp, but there you have it.

Food Log 

Breakfast
Skipped.

Lunch

Skipped.


Snack

Cocoa-kale-hemp-chia protein shake: Almond milk, kale, a large egg, cocoa, hemp seeds, chia gel, vanilla whey powder (36g protein), cinnamon, vanilla, psyllium and stevia-inulin blend.

Dinner
At Rooter's blues jam: Grilled hamburgers and a hot dog (with mustard, no rolls).

Snack
A Protein bar.

Liquid Intake   

   Coffee:  20 oz.   Water: 68+ oz. 

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July 27 - Cheat Day

Post 901, Day 208 of 2013
- and 939 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

Nothing today. I didn't do a thing, other than go to the Regional Farmers Market, where I bought my pastured eggs, and succumbed to a discount from my favorite baker there.

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 Food and Diet Section

2013 Daily Weight

Today's Weight:         211.6 lbs

Yesterday's Weight:     212.2 lbs

Day Net Loss/Gain:      - 0.6 lbs

Diet Comment

I thought I'd gain weight, due to the excess carbs after lunch. Can't say I'm disappointed to have lost the amount I'd previously gained on Thursday's pizza cheat. Nonetheless, Barbara, the cake baker I usually buy from at the Regional Farmer's Market, called out to me while I was trying to slide by without looking at her table, to sell me a cake that, as she put it, "had my name on it". I don't know if she really knows my name, but it was so nice, I did buy it, and then - I ate it. And then I took a 3-hour nap. 

Tomorrow's weight will be dreadful.

Food Log 

Breakfast
Apple Crisp. The whole 7x9" pan.

Lunch

Protein bar.

Dinner

Protein bar. Red cabbage slaw.

Snack
A Protein bar. Later, another protein bar.

Liquid Intake   

   Coffee:  32 oz.   Water: 68+ oz. 

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July 26

Post 900, Day 207 of 2013
- and 938 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

This is where (and why) planning works, when it does. The band had a "gig" - sort of. It was really just an invite to a party hosted by another band.

In order to do it, I had to take time off from work, which requires notice, thus, planning.

It turned out to be a magnificent day, and the setting was the Finger Lakes Wine Country in Central New York. Of course, it could have been a dud - and in that case, it still would have been a good time, because we were performing in a barn, whose open back door overlooked Lake Keuka (bluest of the Finger Lakes - although, not the deepest. I don't know how that works).

What a day it was, capped by a good performance, and all kinds of people heaping compliments on me and the band.

Some aspects I didn't plan: I didn't plan for a passenger, but did go down with my friend Al. I didn't plan on leaving so late, and I drove home tired (if I'd felt too tired, Al is a more-than-competent driver; and probably a better driver than me). I didn't plan on the wonderful spread of food, and the temptations I would succumb to, although I knew I wouldn't be in a mood to resist temptation. 

I didn't plan on there being no signal for the phone there, and forgetting to charge on the way down. That's why there are no pics, but here's one taken from the back of the barn by a stranger and put up in the band's Shindig at the Lake album:

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 Food and Diet Section

2013 Daily Weight

Today's Weight:         212.2 lbs

Yesterday's Weight:     211.6 lbs

Day Net Loss/Gain:      + 0.6 lbs

Diet Comment

I expected this gain. Today, with the random eating I'll be doing, may be worse.

Food Log 

Breakfast
Cocoa-kale-hemp-chia protein shake: Almond milk, kale, a large egg, cocoa, hemp seeds, chia gel, vanilla whey powder (24g protein), cinnamon, psyllium and stevia-inulin blend.

Lunch

Grass-fed beef on coconut Pale bread with guacamole. Side of red cabbage and black bean slaw.

Dinner

Pulled chicken, tomatoes caprice, barbecue beans, fruit salad, garlic toast. Times two. Brownies, cookies, miscellaneous desserts.

Snack
A Protein bar.

Liquid Intake   

   Coffee:  20 oz.   Water: 80+ oz. 

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July 25

Post 899, Day 206 of 2013
- and 937 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

I had a good laugh at myself today - after writing how loose I am with imposed regulation (even, as you can see, when it is self-imposed), I totally abandoned the day's dietary regime.

And then, I reminded myself how often I like to shake things up. From appearance issues (long hair, short hair, head shaved, fat, thin, no jeans, jeans all the time); to job matters (although I was employed by IBM for sixteen years, I had four unique careers in that time); to location matters (I have lost count of how many times I've moved since 1966 - there was a time when I had more than one change of residence per year, and friends who had to start using the L-page of their address books to keep up with my current address).

The most historically constant thing I can think of was living in my house in North Carolina. It was my address for twenty-three years, the longest time I have spent at an address in my life. Probably much too long, but I was thinking in terms of my family, even when it consisted of just Alex and myself.

The funny thing was, I didn't really want to be there at all, ever. The move to North Carolina and to that particular house was Nell's choice. I didn't want to move, but she wanted to put some distance between her and her parents. 

I went along with the move because it was a career opportunity, and seemed like a better place to raise our son. From that point of view, it was a good decision.

I went along with the house because I was desperate after looking for houses for six weeks.  Nothing we were looking at was meeting both our requirements, and Nell was rejecting everything I liked. Once accepted on those terms, I felt stuck, and just wanted to make the best of it.

Leaving North Carolina has turned out to be one of the most liberating things I ever did, with unforeseen (and certainly, unplanned-for) positive consequences.

And speaking of planning, I do a lot of it, still and always. But I no longer plan with the assumption that the plan will actually be executed as planned. I know better (now). Instead, it is an outline, at best, and I know that if it doesn't succeed, there will be a good reason - and one that, stating the obvious, couldn't be planned for. Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. said, "Nothing succeeds as planned."

I have also learned that there are always unforeseen circumstances (because we don't see the future). So in my planning assumptions are the flexibility to be wrong at any, or every, stage when actually implementing a plan.

I don't worry much about how to do something. I just try to imagine the end result. That's the fun way to plan (something that may turn out to be unnecessary), and it is (seems) much more intuitive - otherwise, it just isn't as much fun

The A-Team, where every plan comes together in a lovely way, is a total fiction.

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 Food and Diet Section

2013 Daily Weight

Today's Weight:         211.6 lbs

Yesterday's Weight:     210.0 lbs

Day Net Loss/Gain:      + 1.6 lbs

Diet Comment

I expected this gain. Today, I will do better.

Food Log 

Breakfast
Coconut Paleo toast with guacamole.

Lunch
At Ling-Ling's Chinese Buffet and Grill:

Brussels sprouts, kimchee, and, from the "Mongolian Grill", my go-to dish, pork and chicken with cabbage, onions, mushrooms, green peppers and broccoli.

Snack
Major fail: Pizza, and lots of it.

Dinner

After the afternoon pizza binge, a salad (Spring Mix greens, red cabbage, a creamy balsamic vinaigrette). Then, a protein bar for dessert.

Snack
Late night, after-the-jam Protein bar.

Liquid Intake   

   Coffee:  26 oz.   Water: 128+ oz. Two shots of Jameson's.

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July 24

Post 898, Day 205 of 2013
- and 936 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

I guess the break in the weather - it is cool today! - has reduced my brain activity to a minimum.

I am struggling to find a topic to address. I try to write something that is at least a little interesting every day here, but, as is my wont (that is not a misspelling), I am loose with it.

I have always found regulation stifling and uncomfortable, at least in its absolute (you will do this at this time for this long in this way) form. When I was a young kid, I would try to comply, and always, without exception, end up in tears of frustration.

I would never survive any kind of military training.

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 Food and Diet Section

2013 Daily Weight

Today's Weight:         210.0 lbs

Yesterday's Weight:     211.0 lbs

Day Net Loss/Gain:      - 1.0 lbs

Diet Comment

Slowly but surely... Then again, at the end of the day, literally at 9:30 pm when I ate dinner, this turned into a cheat day. 

Food Log 

Breakfast
Skipped.

Lunch

Italian-style chicken sausage (with onions and peppers) and scrambled eggs. Not shown: Salad of Spring Mix greens, red cabbage, black beans and balsamic vinaigrette.

Snack
Snack 1: Soft-serve ice cream. Snack 2: A protein bar (later).

Dinner

At Eskapes Lounge: A big glass of good Pinot Noir. Lentil soup (with a little piece of garlic toast, eaten). Wasabi-blackened grilled tuna steak, rare, with sauteed vegetables (spinach, tomatoes, peppers, onions, mushrooms). And dessert: Cheesecake truffles in chocolate sauce. It was just there, so I ate it (dinner and drinks is how we're paid when we play here). This marks today as a cheat day.


Snack
A bag of chia chips - which contained organic brown rice, and were very salty and spicy.

Liquid Intake   

   Coffee:  22 oz.   Water: 128+ oz.

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