#1862, Tuesday, May 30: Long-term friendship

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Post 1862, Day 150 of 2017
- 2,342 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

Over the weekend, I had a reunion with old friends from my grade-school days.

There were more than two dozen - and many more than that were missing - only a few in that circle have passed away, none recently.

These are friends I have known, for the most part, for around sixty years. The clique formed around the candy store at the bus stop that took most of us to high school. Around that time, we started a regular game of pickup softball during New York's warm months, that took place nearly-continuously over twenty years, in school playgrounds and nearby parks. For some of them, those softball games, with their friendship and comaraderie, provided the main nexus of our friendship. We didn't hang out much after that (which was by and large my fault - in this crowd, I was the first to move out of the neighborhood on my own).

For a good number, the lasting friendship bonds were forged over many other shared experiences, including a lot of one-on-one time.

It is something I understand is pretty rare - maintaining such a large network of childhood friendships over a sixty-year (-plus, in some cases) period.

I gladly travel the long distances I do to attend these opportunities, because I am so grateful for the chance to maintain these friendships. They say the two things that become most valuable as we age are time and friendships, but I think it is mostly friendships, as I will take and make the time to spend with my friends.

Food and Diet

Today's Weight:                      206.2 lbs.

Previous Weight (5/26/17):           200.2 lbs.

Net Loss/Gain:                       + 6.0 lbs.

Diet Comment

Given the circumstances, and my inability to resist any temptation, I think I got away easy with my Memorial Day weekend weight-gain. There were parties, there was the consumption of more than a carton of Quest bars, strictly as snacks. There was a lot of cheese. There was even fast food. And sweets - lots and lots of desserts. Maybe you could say I lucked out - but I'm sure glad I started from a low weight.

Food Log

Breakfast
4:45pm:  

Omelet with peppers, onion, greens, chia seeds, hemp seeds, feta cheese and bacon. Not shown: A Quest bar.

Lunch
10:10pm: A Quest bar.

Dinner
11:15pm: At Maxwell's:

Max burger: 1/2-pound of ground beef (medium), with fried onions, bacon, cheddar cheese, lettuce, tomato, a fresh bun and chipotle sauce on the side; with hot fresh-fried, homemade potato chips. Not shown: A Quest bar.

Liquid Intake

   Espressos: 2;   Coffee: 0 oz.;  Tea: 0 oz.;  Water: 60+ oz. 

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#1861, Friday, May 26: Fool bus to Cake

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Post 1861, Day 146 of 2017
- 2,338 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

I am grateful for my friends. I am grateful for my opportunities. And I am grateful when they combine, as they did today.

J., leader of i am Fool, introduced me to the band Cake. It was a comical, Abbot-and-Costello-type exchange when he did. I very much enjoy the band, with their outrageously angular rhythms and curious lyrics, and their crazy takes on surprising covers.

They played at the Ommegang Brewery, literally putting it on the map as a concert destination, in 2012, and J. and I went. It was a glorious evening, in all aspects, including perfect weather, a great vibe in the crowd, and, of course, a great show.

When Ommegang announced this year's concert season would begin with An Evening with Cake, got hold of J. He immediately suggested the Fool party bus (John, the drummer in i am Fool, has access to a party bus), and we began planning for the band and friends to go.

That's what we did today - went on a party bus to see Cake. No need to go into details, but the way there was full of adult intoxicants, laughs, conversation, getting to know people. The way back was full of happy-tiredness. Although this year's weather included a short period of fine, Irish-style misty rain before the music started - preparations were adequate, and nobody got wet - otherwise, the time at the brewery concert stage was completely splendid.

A good time was had by all, including Cake itself. Another happy memory created. So much to be grateful for.

Food and Diet

Today's Weight:                      200.2 lbs.

Previous Weight (5/25/17):           202.6 lbs.

Net Loss/Gain:                       - 2.4 lbs.

Diet Comment

This loss courtesy of a day-long, appetite-destroying queasiness. Still, a good setup for the long Memorial Day weekend: Low weight for the year so far. However, this is a party day. After breakfast at home, I expect my dietary choices to be limited and mostly off-plan.

Food Log

Breakfast
12:45pm: Green and blue protein smoothie with coconut-almond milk, kefir, large organic egg, chia gel, kale, spinach, blueberries, whey powder (36g protein), hemp seeds, hemp protein (7g protein), raw organic cacao powder, moringa leaf powder, cinnamon, turmeric, coconut oil and stevia-inulin blend.

Lunch
7:10pm: At Ommegang Brewery: A bacon waffle with maple cream, pulled pork on a bun with cole slaw, sesame noodles. (On the way, chips, veggies and dip, cookies, a 1/2-shot of Bourbon to toast Marsha Sweeney).

Dinner
12:15am: Cashews, cookies, potato chips, pepperoni, cheese, veggies and dip.

Liquid Intake

   Espressos: 0;   Coffee: 24 oz.;  Tea: 0 oz.;  Water: 70+ oz. 

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#1860, Thursday, May 25: The gig of impermanence

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Post 1860, Day 145 of 2017
- 2,337 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

I played my first paying gig with Scuba Gear tonight.

I hadn't been feeling well most of the day - a little queasiness, nothing debilitating - I was out and about all day, but my energy was very low for the gig.

I prepped for the gig by translating the very hard-to-read hand-written original song chord charts I had been given to easy-reading charts for my iPad. I loaded the ones on the set-list. At the gig, I found out the names of the charts and the titles on the set lists didn't match, so I didn't have everything I could use. I noted, with a shrug, that there were songs in the set list I didn't recognize.

In these situations, I rely on my sense of rhythm and my good tone to get me through. I know I will hit some bad notes, but also know how difficult it is for the audience to hear them, as long as they're in time.

True to my expectations, there were whole songs I felt lost in, and many passages where I found myself other than harmonious.

So it goes.

The beautiful thing about this is that, for one thing, I had the support of the band all the way. As someone who is an ensemble player, that is huge. For another, the sound was very good. Lastly, I have knowledge and experience to enjoy myself, and forgive myself for those occasional times when I feel I've failed in my mission to support the music as it deserves.

I am grateful for an environment, both internal and external, that allows me the luxury of playing and playing my way. I am grateful for the truth of impermanence that allows me to move on to the next song, even if I've botched the last. I'm grateful to have learned this: Jazz great Eric Dolphy, concluding his album 'Last Date' said, "When you hear music, after it’s over, it’s gone, in the air, you can never capture it again.".

Food and Diet

Today's Weight:                      202.6 lbs.

Previous Weight (5/24/17):           203.7 lbs.

Net Loss/Gain:                       - 1.1 lbs.

Diet Comment

Very happy with this loss.

Food Log

Breakfast
12:55pm, at Dosa Grill: Three chicken curries, with sides of spinach and eggplant dishes. Nan bread.  

Lunch
7:40pm: A Quest bar.

Dinner
12:15am: A Quest bar.

Liquid Intake

   Espressos: 1;   Coffee: 0 oz.;  Tea: 0 oz.;  Water: 72+ oz. 

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#1859, Wednesday, May 24: No comment

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Post 1859, Day 144 of 2017
- 2,336 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

Nothing today.

Food and Diet

Today's Weight:                      203.7 lbs.

Previous Weight (5/23/17):           203.7 lbs.

Net Loss/Gain:                       + 0.0 lbs.

Diet Comment

Unusually stable weight this week so far. Wish it were stable about three pounds less, but it is what it is.

Food Log

Breakfast
4:45pm:  

Omelet with peppers, onion, greens, chia seeds, hemp seeds, feta cheese and bacon.

Lunch
9:40pm: Beef-broccoli-red bean curry casserole.

Dinner
11:15pm: A Quest bar.

Liquid Intake

   Espressos: 1;   Coffee: 24 oz.;  Tea: 0 oz.;  Water: 68+ oz. 

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#1858, Tuesday, May 23: Changing the scene

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Post 1858, Day 143 of 2017
- 2,335 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

My friend Jerry is closing up his house in Pittsboro, North Carolina and moving to Cary. He will separate from his wife and get an apartment.

He says it's because the seeds he planted over thirty years there, from which he hoped to create a community of creative people, never bore fruit. His efforts were never reciprocated.

I think I understand why he feels the way he does. But I think his effort was doomed, and not just because he was the fields he was seeding were fallow.

For one thing, he needed to attract people to his vision, but his view compared various past environments that he had found in the past, with one he was trying to create. Those scenes happened in a different time, one where social priorities didn't include, for one thing, personal computers or digital music. They also happened in a different place: urban cultural centers, not the rural or suburban places he inhabited. He never took into account his own age difference, or the differences in the environment between his ideals and where he was.

And his view was rigid. And he was, and is, very judgmental. He has a low capacity for empathy, and a high belief in his own point of view and the validity of his judgment.

I think if he had put himself out more, and been more accepting of the good parts of what he found, he might have been much more successful.

He believes the problem was where he lived; that people there are (my words) inferior to the kind of people he needs to thrive in. I think the problem was his own, by the nature of how he defined how people should respond to him.

Me? I try to find the attractive elements of where I am, and put my energy at maximizing the good in what is there, instead of trying to transform the scene to what I idealize. I'm grateful that that is working for me.

Food and Diet

Today's Weight:                      203.7 lbs.

Previous Weight (5/22/17):           203.6 lbs.

Net Loss/Gain:                       + 0.1 lbs.

Diet Comment

Not much change - given the diet-busting food I had yesterday, no complaint from me.

Food Log

Breakfast
2:45pm: Roasted turkey breast chopped salad (roasted turkey breast, shaved parmesan cheese, chard, kale, spinach, red cabbage, balsamic vinaigrette).

Lunch
5:15pm: A Quest bar and cottage cheese.

Dinner
12:55am: Grass-fed burger on Ezekiel 4:9 Flax sprouted grain bread with guacamole, cole slaw and a Quest bar.

Liquid Intake

   Espressos: 1;   Coffee: 0 oz.;  Tea: 0 oz.;  Water: 74+ oz. 

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#1857, Monday, May 22: Scuba Gear

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Post 1857, Day 142 of 2017
- 2,334 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

I'm in this new band, Scuba Gear. It's with Tami from i am Fool, and four other young musicians. We had our first rehearsal tonight (I've sat in with them on two gigs, totally not knowing what I was doing, in the week before this, but this is the first rehearsal, and the first time with all six of the band members present).

It took me 'way back, to when I first started playing bass. It just had that kind of vibe, except the music was better (lots of originals) and the technology was better. And I am old now, and my perspective is so very different.

Yet it still had the same feeling as when I was seventeen, and everything was fun and exciting.

Plus, the band has a good keyboard player!!! First time since the 70s that's happened to me.

And we practice in a shack out in the country. Rural is 'way out of my element. I love that.

My cup of gratitude runneth over.

Food and Diet

Today's Weight:                      203.6 lbs.

Previous Weight (5/19/17):           202.1 lbs.

Net Loss/Gain:                       + 1.5 lbs.

Diet Comment

I have had cheat days work like this before, but I do always find it surprising. Nice that I'm almost two-and-a-half pounds lighter than last Friday.

Food Log

Breakfast
12:15pm, at CoreLife:

Chicken Cobb salad (shredded kale and spinach, grilled chicken, avocado, bacon, hard-cooked egg and blue cheese dressing with a little sriracha).

Lunch
5:15pm, at CoreLife: A salad of my own creation: grass-fed steak, bacon, gorgonzola cheese, spinach, mesclun mix, tomatoes, mushrooms, ginger, walnuts, miso dressing.

Dinner
12:55am: Two Quest bars and a pint of Java Almond Fudge ice cream.

Liquid Intake

   Espressos: 0;   Coffee: 0 oz.;  Tea: 0 oz.;  Water: 72+ oz. 

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#1856, Friday, May 19: Me as singing guitarist

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Post 1856, Day 139 of 2017
- 2,331 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

I'm reflecting on my music today.

Someone posted a video of me playing guitar and singing. It was a minute out of my rendition of Dirty Work (a Steely Dan song that's been covered by others). I started my musical career singing. I learned guitar as an accompaniment to singing, but never played it well, and when I started joining bands, it was initially as a singer/front man.

I discovered bass, and, for the most part, stopped singing, except as a kind of joke - singing a song or two that always had a spoken part - like a version of 'Crazy Mama' (JJ Cale), which I had never learned the words to, and interrupted to tell the story of a drunk and a pig - which led to the song becoming known to the other musicians as the pig joke song.

Initially, I didn't know what a bass guitar did in the music. Shortly thereafter, I saw the Motown review, and became dedicated to the power of the bass. But it was many, many years before I could step up and demonstrate even a little of that power. But playing bass was still a form of self-deprecation: I never wanted the spotlight, I hid in the rhythm section. That became my comfort and my joy - doing my thing while the focus of attention was somewhere else.

All the rest came by persistence.

For years, decades(!), I didn't sing. For one thing, singing and playing bass is hard to do. I finally found one song I could sing while playing bass, and it took me a very long time to get it down, make it comfortable. That opened the door and reminded me how much I enjoy singing.

Now, in my dotage, I'm a fair bass player, with good feel. I'm comfortable with my role. Nothing about playing bass puts me off. Now that I can sing and play bass, I've accepted all my other limitations. And I'm cycling back to my pre-teen days of singing and accompanying myself on guitar (mainly, tunes that I can't get other guitar players to learn).

My guitar playing is as it was when I was a twelve-year-old. My voice has lost range, but gained depth and is more expressive. Singing is still something I enjoy, a lot, even though (or maybe because) it is the only time I get stage-fright.

I'm grateful for this second act.

Food and Diet

Today's Weight:                      202.1 lbs.

Previous Weight (5/18/17):           203.4 lbs.

Net Loss/Gain:                       - 1.3 lbs.

Diet Comment

I have had cheat days work like this before, but I do always find it surprising. Nice that I'm almost two-and-a-half pounds lighter than last Friday.

Food Log

Breakfast
6:15pm: Green and blue protein smoothie with coconut-almond milk, kefir, large organic egg, chia gel, kale, spinach, blueberries, celery, whey powder (36g protein), hemp seeds, hemp protein (7g protein), raw organic cacao powder, moringa leaf powder, cinnamon, coconut oil and stevia-inulin blend.

Lunch
11:35pm: Roasted turkey breast on Ezekiel 4:9 Flax sprouted grain bread with guacamole. Cole slaw.

Dinner
12:55am: A Quest bar.

Liquid Intake

   Espressos: 1;   Coffee: 28 oz.;  Tea: 0 oz.;  Water: 72+ oz. 

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#1855, Thursday, May 18: No comment

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Post 1855, Day 138 of 2017
- 2,330 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

"I got nothing to say, but it's okay..."

Food and Diet

Today's Weight:                      203.4 lbs.

Previous Weight (5/17/17):           201.8 lbs.

Net Loss/Gain:                       + 1.6 lbs.

Diet Comment

My late-night cheese blitz might have had a lot to do with this weight increase. I was hoping today would be a lower-carb day, but just not how things turned out.

Food Log

Breakfast
1:35pm: Fritta (3 eggs, spinach, peppers, onions, shaved parmesan cheese, chia seeds, hemp seeds) with bacon.

Lunch
6:35pm: London broil, pepperoni and cole slaw. Cookies.

Dinner
11:55pm: Pepperoni. A Quest bar. A pint of organic dark chocolate and raspberry ice cream.

Liquid Intake

   Espressos: 1;   Coffee: 28 oz.;  Tea: 0 oz.;  Water: 80+ oz. 

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#1854, Wednesday, May 17: The dark side: Intimacy

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Post 1854, Day 137 of 2017
- 2,329 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

I got a random compliment today, one I've heard before. I don't deal well with compliments, they make me a little uncomfortable. I don't feel worthy.

Kind of like my life. I am flummoxed as to why things seem to turn out so well for me. Despite my personality flaws. Despite my laziness. Despite my sloppiness. I don't feel worthy.

I just keep showing up, and keep smiling - not difficult, because, in general, I have time on my hands, and, in general, I am happy. I try to maintain a positive, optimistic attitude.

I try to be helpful and constructive when I can be.

I like people like me. Of course, I'm just being conceited, writing that, but it's true enough.

It helps that nobody is so interested in me that my mild, affable front is challenged - nobody has a reason to go deep, find the dark that that surface conceals. I haven't always been happy. I have been unkind. I have fears. That shit exists, and, every once in a while, comes out.

That is probably my best social skill: Not allowing real intimacy, for fear of being exposed and hurt.

I'm grateful that my act is working for me.

Food and Diet

Today's Weight:                      201.8 lbs.

Previous Weight (5/16/17):           201.0 lbs.

Net Loss/Gain:                       + 0.8 lbs.

Diet Comment

I am not at all surprised by my weight gain, after yesterday's two meals out. Dining out is the one thing that nearly always works against weight control. The extra Jameson's Irish whiskey was no help, either.

Food Log

Breakfast
2:55pm: Salmon curry casserole: Salmon, dal tadka (lentil curry), cauliflower, spinach, chia seeds, hemp seeds.

Lunch
7:35pm: Pepperoni and a Quest bar.

Dinner
12:05am: Dubliner cheese and a salad (chard, kale, spinach, red cabbage, shaved parmesan, balsamic vinaigrette).

Liquid Intake

   Espressos: 1;   Coffee: 0 oz.;  Tea: 0 oz.;  Water: 80+ oz. and a shot of Jameson's Irish whiskey

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#1853, Tuesday, May 16: Progress... and 80%

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Post 1853, Day 136 of 2017
- 2,328 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

Tonight I sang and played a couple of songs at an open mic I haven't been to in quite a while (mostly because there aren't kit drums or bass stuff). I was invited by a new group I'm playing with, Scuba Gear, and, lo-and-behold, there was a bass rig there.

But I played and sang a couple songs (there was a 2-song limit) on guitar. I like doing this, because it gets me nervous - the only time I ever feel stage-fright these days is when I'm doing this. I feel totally exposed.

The response was very gratifying. I got compliments on song selection, vocals, even my guitar-playing (at my level of guitar accomplishment, I take "It sounded good" as lavish praise). I think I have been improving, both my vocals and my guitar-istry. Just comes from putting in some time, and putting myself out there.

Woody Allen may have been right when he said, "80 percent of life is showing up."

And, my calendar is filling up nicely with gigs and rehearsals.

In fact, a new gig just showed up as I typed that last sentence!

So, the weather's beautiful here in Central New York, and things are rolling along smoothly for me. No idea why, and I'm not going to try to find out.

I'm just going to say that I'm the luckiest person I know and I have a lot to be grateful for.

And I am.

Food and Diet

Today's Weight:                      201.0 lbs.

Previous Weight (5/15/17):           201.0 lbs.

Net Loss/Gain:                       - 0.0 lbs.

Diet Comment

No change, no comment. Just happy with that downward-sloping trend line. But today, there was a bit of self-sabotage, when I started out my night hungry...

Food Log

Breakfast
5:15pm, at CoreLife:

Chicken Cobb salad (shredded kale and spinach, grilled chicken, avocado, bacon, hard-cooked egg and blue cheese dressing with a little sriracha). Not shown: medium raspberry-vanilla softserve twist in a cup.

Lunch
9:05pm: At Maxwell's:

Max burger: 1/2-pound of ground beef (medium), with fried onions, bacon, cheddar cheese, lettuce, tomato, a fresh bun and chipotle sauce on the side; with hot fresh-fried, homemade potato chips. I ate every last bit of it.

Dinner

1:00am: Roast beef and homemade mayonnaise.

Liquid Intake

   Espressos: 1;   Coffee: 0 oz.;  Tea: 0 oz.;  Water: 80+ oz. and two shots of Jameson's Irish whiskey

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