#1500, Monday, August 31: I need to join a union

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Post 1500, Day 243 of 2015
- 1,704 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

So, fifteen hundred posts. Wow! Who'd a thunk?

In the last one-week period, I've had increasing signs of old age.

Now, mainly, I'm completely thrilled with being old and getting older. I don't worry about my appearance, since, however untrue and unctious it may be, people tell me I look younger than my age. I know, I act younger than my age. I may be acting younger than a quarter of my age. No matter.

No, it isn't my behavior, my appearance or my health that is showing signs of decrepitude. It's my endurance.

Last Sunday night, I played a three-and-a-half hour gig with Bradshaw Blues. There was one break (alright, there were two, but the second one was - seriously - less than five minutes). At the end of the night, my shoulder was sore. Bass guitars have weight, and their weight is supported on one shoulder (left, in my case).

Even with minimal dancing movement while playing, an eleven-pound weight unequally distributed on the left side of my body for hours takes a toll.

In the past, no big deal. But during load-out at the end of the night, I was sore.

Then, this past Saturday, i am Fool played all of a four-hour gig with one break. At the end, I was (yes) hurting. Not tired, but sore.

At first, I was humiliated. However, as things were, and despite the fact that I went into that gig (unlike the marathon of the previous Sunday night) knowing that it was going to be a long night, I was 'up' from the satisfaction of all the playing, just really sore. Physically, but not mentally tired.

It felt old. It reminded that I am much older than I thought I'd ever get to be, and not too many people I know, are as active as I am, keeping the long hours I keep, in pursuit of my 'bliss', at any age.

So, the humiliation passed.

I do think I need to add a rider to my contract that says I get a minimum of one 15-minute break for every hour-and-a-half of playing.

Now I'm laughing at myself.

That'll never happen. Never.

Besides, I don't have a contract.

Food and Diet Section

Today's Weight:                   206.2 lbs

Previous Weight (8/28):           207.0 lbs

Day Net Loss/Gain:                - 0.8 lbs

Diet Comment

A weekend with a weight loss? This was achieved by sleeping a lot and eating less. Still, I'll take it!

Food Log

Breakfast
Protein shake with almond-coconut milk, kefir, kale, extra-large organic egg, whey powder (36g protein), hemp seeds, hemp protein (7g protein), raw organic cacao powder, chia gel, moringa leaf powder, cinnamon, celery and stevia-inulin blend.

Lunch
Sliced London broil with a Spring Mix, cole slaw mix and shaved parmesan cheese salad with balsmaic vinaigrette.

Snack 
Celery and home-made mayonnaise.

Dinner 
Two Quest bars.

Liquid Intake
   Espressos: 2;  Coffee: 24 oz.;  Water: 72+ oz.

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#1499, Friday, August 28: The walmart.com experience never to be repeated.

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Post 1499, Day 240 of 2015
- 1,701 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

Last night was the kind of night that makes me go hmmm...

My cheap microwave, after four years of service, stopped making microwaves, so the few foods for which I employ it would not cook.

As is my methodology, I did a little research, checking the usual places, looking for sales on higher-rated products, and determining which to buy, and where. I'm willing to pay a little more if I can buy local, but small appliances are all imported and the margin means buying local really isn't an option.

The one I decided on (sold under a few different American brand names) was by far cheapest if I bought it at Walmart. I checked walmart.com and found it in stock at the next-closest Walmart to me. With that information came a pitch to buy it online and pick it up at the store "same day".

This seemed like a good idea, and as if it meant I would spend less time in Walmart, so that's what I did.

Bad idea.

I had just set myself up for the worst shopping experience of my life. It turns out that walmart.com is not well-integrated with the Walmart stores.

Walmart.com asked for my phone number so they could text me when it was ready for pickup, which I supplied. Minutes later, I received a text message that my order was being processed, and the next text I got would let me know that the order was ready for me to pick up.

Four hours later, after work, and with me wanting to pick it up right after dinner, there was no message. I decided to go to the store (I knew they had it in stock) and move things along by bringing it to the pickup counter myself.

I am delusional. I can't do that. What if I cancel the order? I ask. You can't cancel while it is still being processed. Can you move the processing along? I mean, I'm here, now, with the item in a cart (pointing). We'll see.

Twenty minutes later, no, we can't do anything until we get notice from walmart.com.

Well, what about just making a note on the order, in-process as it is, that the item has been picked up? Let me find a manager to see if we can help. (Customer service rep disappears).

Returns in ten minutes alone - the Manager and Assistant Manager don't know how to make changes in walmart.com.

Okay. I wheel the cart to the cashier at the opposite end of the store, pay for it (again), thinking I will cancel the order and get a refund when I get the text message telling me it has been processed and is ready. I can be stupid.

I have missed the first event I wanted to go to that evening. What should have taken an hour has taken three, and with a far-from-acceptable outcome. And, I feel foolish (not in a good way).

Of course, the text never comes. However, in the morning I find an email from ten minutes after I left the store (which, by the way, was almost ninety minutes after I left my apartment to pick up the cheap microwave) telling me the item is ready for pickup. I use the link supplied for 'Questions about this order' to get a refund.

There is nothing on the order page telling me how to get a refund. I call walmart.com's customer service. I am quickly(!) connected to someone who seems very nice. He has a little trouble finding the order, and when he does, he tells me that after the order is processed, there isn't any way to cancel it. The fact that it hasn't been shipped but pulled from stock means nothing.

And he can't arrange for the store to handle the refund. I ask for his manager. I am on hold for fifteen minutes. On his return, the rep tells me he can't find his manager, but he called the store. They have it, but he can't arrange for a return and refund over the phone. If I wait fourteen days, it will go back in stock and my refund will be processed within a week.

Are there any other options? None. What if I go back to the store, pick it up, then immediately return it? Oh, I guess you could do that. Thank you. You've been no help.

I realize that, in time and travel costs, and even at today's low gas prices, my thirty per cent savings has turned into a much more than retail cost for a relatively small purchase. My frustration? Priceless.

I smile as I fill out the customer survey that immediately follows, knowing I will lose another ninety minutes revisiting the store and getting my money back.

Food and Diet Section

Today's Weight:                   207.0 lbs

Previous Weight (8/27):           207.4 lbs

Day Net Loss/Gain:                - 0.4 lbs

Diet Comment

Yesterday was a pretty neutral day, food-wise. Good.

Food Log

Breakfast
A Quest bar.

Lunch

Roasted turkey breast chopped salad: shaved Parmesan cheese, baby kale, baby spinach, chard, cole slaw mix and balsamic vinaigrette.

Snack 
A Quest bar.

Dinner 
Sliced London broil with Dijon mustard (appetizer), then a wild-caught salmon patty on Ezekiel 4:9 Flax sprouted grain bread with cole slaw.

Snack 
A Quest bar.

Liquid Intake
   Espressos: 2;  Coffee: 24 oz.;  Water: 112+ oz.

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#1498, Thursday, August 27: Parenting

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Post 1498, Day 239 of 2015
- 1,700 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

I think I've been an okay father. Not saying I was a good father, but, you know, I really did the best I could. I tried to incorporate lessons learned from my own traumatic upbringing and can only remember two times when I 'lost it' with my son.

I'm still haunted by those incidents, but I've discretely and circumspectly probed Alex, and as far as I can tell, he doesn't remember, and it may have meant more to me than to him.

I tried to teach by example, which means he picked up the good and the bad. I was supportive and protective without hovering. I tried to expose him to enough cultural and social experiences to give him the ability to choose for himself what he liked. I tried to guide and influence without being arbitrary or despotic.

I know not everything I tried worked out. Not for him, or, for that matter, the way I had hoped. But it seems to me that at every stage of his life, he has been better than I was at that point.

That's gratifying. Somehow, the parenting skills, or lack of same, he's turned out to be a likable, capable man.

I moved into the maintenance phase of parenting around ten years ago, and added 'friend' to my relationship card, which previously only had 'parent'.

I declare my parenting a success.

Food and Diet Section

Today's Weight:                   207.4 lbs

Previous Weight (8/26):           207.2 lbs

Day Net Loss/Gain:                + 0.2 lbs

Diet Comment

My unfortunate evening eating has halted my weight loss over the last two days. Sometimes my hunger/satiety cycles are just screwed up (requiring ice cream at 11pm).

Food Log

Breakfast
Protein shake with almond-coconut milk, kefir, kale, extra-large organic egg, whey powder (36g protein), hemp seeds, hemp protein (7g protein), raw organic cacao powder, chia gel, moringa leaf powder, cinnamon, celery and stevia-inulin blend.

Lunch

Omelet with peppers, onion, greens, cheese and bacon.

Snack 
A Quest bar.

Dinner 
London broil with Dijon mustard, and a Quest bar.

Snack 
A Quest bar.

Liquid Intake
   Espressos: 2;  Coffee: 24 oz.;  Water: 102+ oz. A shot of Jameson's Irish whiskey.

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#1497, Wednesday, August 26: Thinking about germs and consciousness

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Post 1497, Day 238 of 2015
- 1,699 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

I've been saying here, for a while, that consciousness is over-rated, and not even what we think it is. We (humans) do not seem to have self-awareness, at least not an accurate concept, of what we are.

This incomplete awareness is full of self-denial, in the sense that we have a limited view of what our selves are. We believe our selves are the individual thinking units that make up our life stories.

That is wrong, and the scientific evidence that it is wrong is mounting. Our selves are comprised not just of the parts our self-awareness tells us are there - our bodies and their constituent parts, and our thoughts/beliefs/feelings - but all the things we are not aware of, which are vastly greater than those we are.

A good example of this is the microbes we host - not just the gut bacteria, but the whole cellular structure that makes up our organs and biosystems, the tiny organic life our bodies are host to. We think of them as 'other', but they are an integral and influential part of what makes up a human being.

We are no more aware of this bacterial mass and its influence than we are of the complex electrical and biochemical signals and reactions, all the autonomic functions that are called into play whenever we move. Impossible for us to consciously coordinate all the activities that are involved in raising a hand, for instance (over two hundred and fifty muscles involved in doing that).

There are more different types (species?) of bacteria in every human (all plant and animal life, too) than that human has cells, and some multiple in numbers of bacteria. And we are influenced by them. Physical conditions and behavior patterns we thought were hereditary we now know are functions of the human biome.

Bacteria, have large, in some cases controlling, influence in the human biome (the entire mass of systems, organs and organisms that make up a human being). They seem to have particular influence on cell function, and have been implicated in immune function, digestive function and even - which shocked me - in our psychological and social functions.

And we are no more aware of them than we are of the electrical and biochemical processes that permit us to wave hello to someone.

They are also, very likely, important in defining what it is to be human. We are not 'just' what we perceive ourselves to be. We don't have the sense (multiply meanings) that lets us see the whole picture. We lack a wholistic view of the self.

So, we're bags of meat walking around with limited self-awareness, unaware of how we function in the larger picture, of our role in the terrestrial and extra-terrestrial ecology. Our consciousness isn't in complete control, and may not even have the majority vote in how and what we do.

That's just the 'ego' with a conceited idea of its role in our lives, because that is the part we use to describe our lives.

Food and Diet Section

Today's Weight:                   207.2 lbs

Previous Weight (8/25):           206.8 lbs

Day Net Loss/Gain:                + 0.4 lbs

Diet Comment

There is definitely some water weight contributing to today's weight gain. Yesterday I had the least water consumption in all the time I've been keeping track.

Food Log

Breakfast
A Quest bar.

Lunch
At Core:

Chicken Cobb salad (shredded kale and romaine, grilled chicken, avocado, bacon, hard-cooked egg, broccoli, cauliflower and bleu cheese dressing).

Snack 
A couple of Quest bars.

Dinner 
London broil with Pommery whole-seed mustard, and a Quest bar.

Snack 
A medium dish of soft-serve, twist.

Liquid Intake
   Espressos: 2;  Coffee: 24 oz.;  Water: 86+ oz.

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#1496, Tuesday, August 25: A first gig reminiscence

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Post 1496, Day 237 of 2015
- 1,698 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

I'm feeling a little mellow today. Unfortunately, that doesn't really leave me much interesting to write about.

A month away from my LA vacation, and I just heard some good news from out there. Alex sold his first script. It is for a youTube video production, but he wrote it, and someone paid him for it.

Kind of huge. At least to me. It is at least as significant as the first time I got paid for playing bass.

That happened when I was seventeen.

My friend, former neighbor, and too-loud guitarist Richie got a gig for a band he didn't have. I supplied another guitarist, a drummer and, of course, me as front man/vocalist and on bass.

I also named the band. I called us 'Smack', because I was experimenting with heroin at the time. The club didn't get it, and billed us as 'the Smacks'. Probably for the best.

This club was called Mr. D's. It was a gay bar on the very classy Upper East Side of Manhattan. I didn't know what kind of place it was and neither did Richie (not that it mattered - it wasn't my first encounter with gay men, and I've never had a problem with them).

I showed up there a six-foot, four-inch seventeen year old in tight pants and a gold velvet caped vest from a theater supply company. Hilariously appropriate, given I had no idea who my audience was.

We were a big hit. We played there twice a month until someone suggested we should practice and the drummer quit.

Food and Diet Section

Today's Weight:                   206.8 lbs

Previous Weight (8/24):           209.4 lbs

Day Net Loss/Gain:                - 2.6 lbs

Diet Comment

This refreshing weight drop is brought to you by WTF! Completely unexpected - and nothing I did yesterday, which included a cheat and more than half my calories eaten after 8pm. Not complaining, not understanding. Happy, nonetheless.

Food Log

Breakfast
Protein shake with almond-coconut milk, kefir, kale, extra-large organic egg, whey powder (36g protein), hemp seeds, hemp protein (7g protein), raw organic cacao powder, chia gel, moringa leaf powder, cinnamon, celery and stevia-inulin blend.

Lunch

Salmon salad (Wild Alaska pink salmon, celery, mayonnaise) on baby kale, baby spinach, chard and cole slaw mix.

Snack 
Beef bone broth from Core.

Dinner 
London broil and cheese on Ezekiel 4:9 Flax bread with a Quest bar.

Liquid Intake
   Espressos: 1;  Coffee: 24 oz.;  Water: 36+ oz.

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#1495, Monday, August 24: Phantom work pain coming?

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Post 1495, Day 236 of 2015
- 1,697 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

When I think about days off, I'm not talking about my day job. I'm talking about my playing schedule.

My day job is like the apartment my cousin Ronnie grew up in in the mid-twentieth century. The apartment building was next to an elevated train. Every time a train went by (either direction),the building shook, and the noise was deafening.

I only visited that apartment a couple of times. When the train came along, I freaked - you couldn't think. You couldn't hear your own spoken words.

But Ronnie and my aunt and uncle were completely fine with it. They'd gotten used to it, they knew how long it lasted, they knew better than to do anything but hold their last thought until it was over.

That's my job. I pause my life for the time I'm at work. I know how long it will last. When the day is over, I continue with my life just as though the job didn't happen.

Since my life these days is mostly about playing, my work for the VA is like that train. I'm used to it.

I wonder about this, though: When I retire, will I have the same problem that Ronnie had when his parents finally moved to a quiet apartment. He missed the racket. He sometimes found himself pausing his thoughts, his speech, to let the train rumble past, even though there was no train there. He had trouble sleeping in the quiet.

Will I miss my job at the VA when I retire?

If I had to guess now, I'd guess, "Yes."

Food and Diet Section

Today's Weight:                   209.4 lbs

Previous Weight (8/21):           209.4 lbs

Day Net Loss/Gain:                - 0.0 lbs

Diet Comment

My lack of movement, weight-wise, is both a good thing and a mystery, given that the weekend wasn't spent adhering to any kind of eating plan, good, bad or otherwise, and finished up with an unusual amount of alcohol.

Food Log

Breakfast
Skipped.

Lunch

Not a great way to start the week, but that's what I get for coming to work late, and hungry: A slice of pepperoni pizza (free food overwhelms all common sense), and a Quest bar.

Snack 
Quest bars.

Dinner 
London broil and cole slaw.

Liquid Intake
   Espressos: 2;  Coffee: 24 oz.;  Water: 86+ oz.

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#1494, Friday, August 21: Nothing to say, but its okay

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Post 1494, Day 233 of 2015
- 1,694 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

Nothing much on my mind today. That's a good thing, I guess.

I have the night off, and gigs Saturday and Sunday night. I will change the 'heading' picture, then I will go to bed early.

Sometimes that helps.

Food and Diet Section

Today's Weight:                   209.4 lbs

Previous Weight (8/20):           209.8 lbs

Day Net Loss/Gain:                - 0.4 lbs

Diet Comment

Oh, well. With all the desserts after a late dinner, I'm not overly surprised. We'll see what the day brings.

Food Log

Breakfast
Grilled cheese and roast beef on Ezekiel 4:9 Flax sprouted grain bread.

Lunch

Roasted turkey breast chopped salad: shaved Parmesan cheese, baby kale, baby spinach, chard, cole slaw mix and balsamic vinaigrette.

Snack 
Mixed nuts.

Dinner 
Quest bars.

Liquid Intake
   Espressos: 2;  Coffee: 24 oz.;  Water: 72+ oz.

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#1493, Thursday, August 20: Boy, you're gonna carry that weight!

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Post 1493, Day 232 of 2015
- 1,693 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

I used to love to exercise. Now, not so much.

Part of the reason is that I found, contrary to my previous thinking, that exercise was not very helpful in losing weight. At least, not the way I exercised. For weight loss, dietary changes seem to be the main requirement.

Exercise is about getting healthy by improving your body function. It can help weight loss, and certainly weight maintenance, but it can also be counter-productive for weight loss because it increases appetite.

Another part of the reason is physical/medical. I am totally deconditioned, and can't do some of the basic, simple things I used to enjoy. More importantly though (assuming I could get some conditioning back) is some occasional but frequent diabetes-related pain in my feet.

On the other hand, I am out playing after work almost six nights a week, on average. That means moving around and carrying stuff. I am comfortable with my stamina. I walked over six miles on the High Line this past weekend with no ill effects.

So, what's the plan? (Stop laughing, God. You don't even exist).

Walking. More walking. And yoga classes.

After retirement, that is. That puts this plan squarely among the other post-retirement endeavors (I'm looking at you, upright bass, getting rid of most of my possessions, and house-cleaning) with which I intend to fill my new-found non-employment time.

Or not.

Because I know I can be one lazy son-of-a-gun.

Food and Diet Section

Today's Weight:                   209.8 lbs

Previous Weight (8/19):           209.4 lbs

Day Net Loss/Gain:                + 0.4 lbs

Diet Comment

Oh, well. With all the desserts after a late dinner, I'm not overly surprised. We'll see what the day brings.

Food Log

Breakfast
A Quest Bar.

Lunch
At Core:

Chicken Cobb salad (shredded kale and romaine, grilled chicken, avocado, bacon, hard-cooked egg, broccoli, mushrooms and bleu cheese dressing).

Snack 
Pepperoni.

Dinner 
Quest bars.

Snack 
Quest bars.

Liquid Intake
   Espressos: 2;  Coffee: 24 oz.;  Water: 64+ oz.

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#1492, Wednesday, August 19: Slack in friendships

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Post 1492, Day 231 of 2015
- 1,692 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

I try not to make my friends pay a price for friendship (at least mine).

My friends, my 'true' friends, get it. They know I'm as easy-going as can be, but that occasionally, I'm distracted or busy or just in a bad mood, and make allowances.

I try not to force them to put up with any bullshit, and in return, I have few expectations of them, as friends. Racism and intolerance will put distance between us, and that's just about it.

Because of two things: First, I don't want to feel like I'm walking on eggs with my friends. I want to feel like they and I can say anything, no political correctness. That requires the predetermination (not really an analysis, just something that happens on the way to friendship) that there isn't blatant racism and intolerance; snarking doesn't count.

And, I want to be able to not take anything (from friends or not) 'personally'. I believe this to be true: You shouldn't take anything anybody does personally. Mainly because, again in my opinion, what people do isn't the result of thought and consideration about the relationship between the two of you; it is the result of largely subconscious and autonomic processes that have to do with nothing but a person's internals. The stuff they aren't aware of.

In other words, conscious/aware thoughts and behavior don't run the show - the id, not the ego, is in charge. Especially when things get emotional.

Interpersonal relationships aren't the pure intellectual/emotional/physical things we recognize. All those things that happen below one's consciousness are more involved than what we are conscious of recognizes.

That's my operating theory. That explains to me why there is so much miscommunication, and also why we don't understand, sometimes, why people treat us differently in different but similar encounters. Nobody sees the man behind the curtains pulling the levers.

By definition, that's what happens below our level of awareness.

And why friends have to give each other slack.

Food and Diet Section

Today's Weight:                   209.4 lbs

Previous Weight (8/18):           210.8 lbs

Day Net Loss/Gain:                - 1.4 lbs

Diet Comment

Continuing with high-protein, high-fat, low carb food and I'm under my pre-weekend weight in two days.

Food Log

Breakfast
A Quest Bar.

Lunch
Protein shake with almond-coconut milk, kefir, kale, extra-large organic egg, whey powder (36g protein), hemp seeds, hemp protein (7g protein), raw organic cacao powder, chia gel, moringa leaf powder, cinnamon, celery and stevia-inulin blend.

Dinner 
At Eskapes: 

A "BST Salad" with blackened salmon (BST is blackened bacon, spinach and tomato). Not shown: A couple of big chocolate chip cookies

Liquid Intake
   Espressos: 2;  Coffee: 32 oz.; Water: 72+ oz. A shot of Jameson's Irish whiskey.

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