Tuesday, February 25

Post 1096, Day 56 of 2014
- 1,154 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

I mostly get along with people, but I've never felt like a 'popular' guy. In fact, some people think I come off as aloof. Lately, I've felt a lot of things about myself that I don't really feel anymore.
For instance, I used to think it was important to be 'cool'. The cool people had, or got things I wanted. I never actually knew exactly what being cool meant, but I had a 'know it when I see it' attitude about it. I emulated the people who struck me as being cool. Over time, I like to think I developed my own particular style of 'cool'.

Cool people hung out with cool people, so I had to be cool to belong with the people I most wanted to be like. It was the only club I wanted to belong to.

I don't think I'm cool any more. I don't think I'm 'hip'. I'm no longer a front-runner. For one thing, those people I see now who seem to have that cool, hip vibe, are cool in ways that, because of age, social narrative, understanding, physical condition, age or age, I can't emulate.

I've 'lost' my cool because, well, whatever else it is, self-consciousness never comes across as cool. Cool looks like you don't care. And being 'cool' is one thing I no longer care about. 

I either am cool or I'm not. Either way, it comes, as it has to, without effort on my part. It's now in the eye of the beholder, much like when it did matter to me.

And that may be the coolest thing about me. That not caring about being cool has come at a time when I don't need it to feel like I 'belong,' and I don't care a whole lot about 'belonging' either.

A huge sea-change for me, socially and emotionally.

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 Food and Diet Section

January to June, 2014 Daily Weight

Today's Weight:         209.6 lbs

Previous Weight:        208.2 lbs

Day Net Loss/Gain:      + 1.4 lbs

Diet Comment

The expected gain...

Food Log 

Breakfast
Skipped.

Lunch
Skipped.

Snack
Pepperoni.

Dinner

Hamburger with grilled onions and peppers, cole slaw and a salad with baby kale, baby spinach, chard, kidney beans and balsamic vinaigrette.

Snack
Buffalo chicken breast.

Liquid Intake

   Coffee:  28 oz.   Water: 104+ oz. 

Please leave a comment if you visit my blog. Thank you!