February 25

Post 753, Day 56 of 2013
 - and 787 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

Should I feel bad about doing nothing at work?

Well, there isn't much that needs doing, just now, but there is stuff I could do, things to make me better at my job, or to make me more valuable.

But I don't want to be better at my job or a more valuable employee. I don't want a promotion - I am past the career-building portion of my employee life-cycle. I don't have any social interaction at work, either, no sense of having to pull my weight on the team. 

I do what needs doing. When I don't perceive anything needs doing, I don't really prepare for the next thing that comes along, because I don't know what that is.

There is no incentive to look for work to do.

Actually, I am looking forward to not having to work. I am looking forward to not earning money. I am looking forward to a time when the money just comes, hopefully with more coming in (pensions) than going out.

And if not, going somewhere (or changing something) that will bring things in line.

I think I can make that work, pardon the pun, and do it in some style, and I have a list of places where it will work, and I look at it as a grand experiment, an adventure to see if I can be happy living like that. If I'm lucky, the adventure will be endless (or, at least, terminal, and I mean that in a good, long-time-out-there sort of way).

Guilt is weird. I'm getting paid, and I show up, and whenever there's something that needs doing, I do it. My customers express appreciation on those occasions where there's some  interaction, some problem to solve.

Lately, there hasn't been much.

The guilt comes from that, from the feeling that I am not producing enough output to justify my salary. This is silly, for a couple of reasons.

First, I do not, did not, and cannot negotiate my pay. The job was offered, it sits at a certain place on the government pay scale, there's a location adjustment, and that's it. No matter how well or how badly, how much previous experience, etc. The pay for the job I was offered and accepted is just what it is. Period.

And my duties are what they are. I'm not shirking. As far as I know, I'm satisfactorily fulfilling all the requirements of my job.

Of course, the other reason is that guilt is, itself, silly. If I am guilty of doing something wrong, then I will pay the price one way or the other. If I'm not, there is no point in feeling guilty, is there?

No. Silliness.

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 Food and Diet Section

First-half year 2013 daily weight

Today's Weight:         210.8 lbs

Yesterday's Weight:     208.6 lbs

Day Net Loss/Gain:      + 2.2 lbs

Diet Comment

Wow, another big gain, and yesterday, except for skipping breakfast, I was good, very good. Oh, well, today I was good, too, so tomorrow I expect a good loss.

Food Log 

Breakfast
Cocoa-kale-hemp-seed-protein shake: Almond milk, kale, cocoa, hemp seeds, a large egg, vanilla whey powder (24g protein),  cinnamon, stevia-inulin blend.

Lunch

Pepperoni and hard-boiled eggs with balsamic vinaigrette over Spring Mix greens, baby spinach and cole slaw mix.

Snack
Celery, baby carrots and home-made mayonnaise.

Dinner

Chili (chopped beef, red beans, mushrooms, tomatoes, spices) over steamed broccoli.

Liquid Intake   

   Coffee:  20 oz.   Water:  128+ oz.    

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