February 28

Post 756, Day 59 of 2013
 - and 790 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

It is kind of sad - maybe wistful is a better word - that you meet many wonderful people in the course of your life, some of whom pass through quickly, leaving an impression but little more.

Then, time passes, and years or decades later, you hear of their passing, and it brings back that impression, and the attached emotions, and the wish to have known them better.

When contemplating this, I realize that playing the "What if" game is never benign. We seldom consider the "Butterfly Effect" when we're in our little fantasy of altering the unalterable past, the non-existent past, the not-separate-from-the-now past.

Imagination is not a bad thing, and nothing to be stifled, but we must recognize, that, like anything wonderful/dangerous (guns/automobiles/knowledge) having a good one doesn't imply that it is employed in the most human way possible.

I have been fortunate enough to meet many celebrities, and by celebrity I mean individuals who are known by far more people than they will know, and serve as surfaces for those people's projections. So, famous people about whom nothing real is ever actually known by the public. What would my life have been like if I'd lingered, been more forward, impressed them, followed up?

I don't care.

This thought today was occasioned by learning, on Facebook, of the passing of Chuck Goff. He was a fellow bass-player, a successful recording and touring bass player out of Nashville, who I ran into a couple of times when he came out to jam in Raleigh when I lived there. He was Toby Keith's go-to guy on bass, I guess they had a long relationship, but to me, he was just a very good-natured, humble guy who really liked to play, and played well - believe me, that's a huge understatement. He was outgoing, and friendly, and he made an impression on me, those few moments I spent with him at Yancey's twenty-plus years ago.

He thought any bass player worth his salt should dedicate his life to playing bass. I didn't (and don't) think that one-size-fits-all prescription works for everybody, would have worked for me, but what if...?

RIP, Chuck. We'll never know for me, it's a path not taken, but I'm glad it seems to have worked for you, buddy.

Please leave a comment if you visit my blog. Thank you!

 Food and Diet Section

First-half year 2013 daily weight

Today's Weight:         208.4 lbs

Yesterday's Weight:     209.4 lbs

Day Net Loss/Gain:      - 1.0 lbs

Diet Comment

Better than nothing. Gained a pound in the last four weeks. Feh. Again.

Food Log 

Breakfast
Skipped.

Lunch
At Ling-Ling's Chinese Buffet and Grill:

Brussels sprouts, kimchee, and, from the "Mongolian Grill", my go-to dish, pork and chicken with bean sprouts, cabbage, onions, mushrooms, green peppers, snow pea pods and broccoli.

Snack
Cocoa-kale-hemp-chia seed-protein shake: Almond milk, kale, cocoa, hemp seeds, vanilla whey powder (24g protein),  cinnamon, vanilla and stevia-inulin blend.

Dinner

Scrambled eggs with spinach, black beans and tomato sauce (with sausage, peppers and onions).

Snack
Cole slaw.

Liquid Intake   

   Coffee:  20 oz.   Water:  108+ oz.    

Please leave a comment if you visit my blog. Thank you!

 

February 27

Post 755, Day 58 of 2013
 - and 789 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

I am losing my mind.

No, check that, I have lost my mind, I only feel like I am losing it.

I went to work today with two different shoes on. No, not two different socks. Two different shoes.

I cannot account for this. It isn't that they're similar. They aren't the same color. They don't feel the same on my feet, since they have very different soles, insoles, cushioning. One's a slip-on, the other needs to be 'tied' (velcroed? Is that a word?).

Is this a sensory hallucination?

How spaced out can a person be? I did not go to work early, was not rushed when I left, and my shoes are the next-to-last thing I put on before I left my house and walked down the stairs and out in the melting snow to my car.

How did I get all the way to my car, drive to work, and only notice that my shoes were different after I parked in the lot and got out of my car?

Man, oh, man. Here I was, thinking I was so cool.

Please leave a comment if you visit my blog. Thank you!

 Food and Diet Section

First-half year 2013 daily weight

Today's Weight:         209.4 lbs

Yesterday's Weight:     209.4 lbs

Day Net Loss/Gain:      - 0.0 lbs

Diet Comment

Nothing. Feh.

Food Log 

Breakfast
Cocoa-kale-hemp-chia seed-protein shake: Almond milk, kale, cocoa, hemp seeds, a large egg, vanilla whey powder (24g protein),  cinnamon, vanilla and stevia-inulin blend.

Lunch

Salmon salad with black beans and celery. Not shown: Spring Mix, baby spinach, cole slaw mix salad and black beans with balsamic vinaigrette.

Snack
Celery, pepperoni and home-made mayonnaise.

Dinner

Chili (chopped beef, red beans, mushrooms, tomatoes, spices) over steamed broccoli.

Liquid Intake   

   Coffee:  20 oz.   Water:  145+ oz.    

Please leave a comment if you visit my blog. Thank you!

 

February 26

Post 754, Day 57 of 2013
 - and 788 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

Continuing from yesterday, I am thinking about this question: 

Is it wrong to take advantage of a situation?

What if it seems like it isn't mutually, or equally, beneficial? Does that have any bearing?

I'm thinking it isn't wrong, but I'm feeling like it is.

Please leave a comment if you visit my blog. Thank you!

 Food and Diet Section

First-half year 2013 daily weight

Today's Weight:         209.4 lbs

Yesterday's Weight:     210.8 lbs

Day Net Loss/Gain:      - 1.4 lbs

Diet Comment

Improvement. Good. More to come.

Food Log 

Breakfast
Skipped, due to not being hungry.

Lunch

Dal Tadka with scrambled eggs and spinach. Not shown: Spring Mix greens, baby spinach and cole slaw mix and balsamic vinaigrette.

Dinner

Chili (chopped beef, red beans, mushrooms, tomatoes, spices) with faux mashed potatoes (cauliflower).

Snack
Hard-boiled eggs with guacamole and Greek yogurt with blueberries and stevia-inulin blend.

Liquid Intake   

   Coffee:  20 oz.   Water:  114+ oz.    

Please leave a comment if you visit my blog. Thank you!

 

February 25

Post 753, Day 56 of 2013
 - and 787 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

Should I feel bad about doing nothing at work?

Well, there isn't much that needs doing, just now, but there is stuff I could do, things to make me better at my job, or to make me more valuable.

But I don't want to be better at my job or a more valuable employee. I don't want a promotion - I am past the career-building portion of my employee life-cycle. I don't have any social interaction at work, either, no sense of having to pull my weight on the team. 

I do what needs doing. When I don't perceive anything needs doing, I don't really prepare for the next thing that comes along, because I don't know what that is.

There is no incentive to look for work to do.

Actually, I am looking forward to not having to work. I am looking forward to not earning money. I am looking forward to a time when the money just comes, hopefully with more coming in (pensions) than going out.

And if not, going somewhere (or changing something) that will bring things in line.

I think I can make that work, pardon the pun, and do it in some style, and I have a list of places where it will work, and I look at it as a grand experiment, an adventure to see if I can be happy living like that. If I'm lucky, the adventure will be endless (or, at least, terminal, and I mean that in a good, long-time-out-there sort of way).

Guilt is weird. I'm getting paid, and I show up, and whenever there's something that needs doing, I do it. My customers express appreciation on those occasions where there's some  interaction, some problem to solve.

Lately, there hasn't been much.

The guilt comes from that, from the feeling that I am not producing enough output to justify my salary. This is silly, for a couple of reasons.

First, I do not, did not, and cannot negotiate my pay. The job was offered, it sits at a certain place on the government pay scale, there's a location adjustment, and that's it. No matter how well or how badly, how much previous experience, etc. The pay for the job I was offered and accepted is just what it is. Period.

And my duties are what they are. I'm not shirking. As far as I know, I'm satisfactorily fulfilling all the requirements of my job.

Of course, the other reason is that guilt is, itself, silly. If I am guilty of doing something wrong, then I will pay the price one way or the other. If I'm not, there is no point in feeling guilty, is there?

No. Silliness.

Please leave a comment if you visit my blog. Thank you!

 Food and Diet Section

First-half year 2013 daily weight

Today's Weight:         210.8 lbs

Yesterday's Weight:     208.6 lbs

Day Net Loss/Gain:      + 2.2 lbs

Diet Comment

Wow, another big gain, and yesterday, except for skipping breakfast, I was good, very good. Oh, well, today I was good, too, so tomorrow I expect a good loss.

Food Log 

Breakfast
Cocoa-kale-hemp-seed-protein shake: Almond milk, kale, cocoa, hemp seeds, a large egg, vanilla whey powder (24g protein),  cinnamon, stevia-inulin blend.

Lunch

Pepperoni and hard-boiled eggs with balsamic vinaigrette over Spring Mix greens, baby spinach and cole slaw mix.

Snack
Celery, baby carrots and home-made mayonnaise.

Dinner

Chili (chopped beef, red beans, mushrooms, tomatoes, spices) over steamed broccoli.

Liquid Intake   

   Coffee:  20 oz.   Water:  128+ oz.    

Please leave a comment if you visit my blog. Thank you!

 

February 24

Post 752, Day 55 of 2013
 - and 786 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

In general, I don't hold a grudge.

It doesn't make any sense to do so, but a policy to avoid interactions with another person who you will be in a group situation from time to time comes close.

At open mics, a particular drummer has either jumped another bass player in front of me, or put up another bass player while I was taking my turn playing on the stage. 

I wish this man no harm, but the last time he did this, I decided I would not play with him or be onstage with him any more.

Of course, it will affect me more than him, these kinds of things always do. Only one of us feels 'injured,' and only one of us has had his playing time shortened, and it isn't the drummer. All I can do is make and enforce my own rule, not to share a stage with him.

Tonight was the first time I acted on this, and it ended my night early.

So it goes.

Please leave a comment if you visit my blog. Thank you!

 Food and Diet Section

First-half year 2013 daily weight

Today's Weight:         208.6 lbs

Yesterday's Weight:     205.4 lbs

Day Net Loss/Gain:      + 3.2 lbs

Diet Comment

A big gain, and I'm back on.

Food Log 

Breakfast
Skipped.

Lunch
Cocoa-kale-hemp-seed-protein shake: Almond milk, kale, cocoa, hemp seeds, vanilla whey powder (24g protein),  cinnamon, stevia-inulin blend.

Dinner
Pepperoni, celery, carrots, home-made mayonnaise.

Liquid Intake   

   Coffee:  20 oz.   Water:  102+ oz.    

Please leave a comment if you visit my blog. Thank you!

 

February 23 - HCHC Day

Post 751, Day 54 of 2013
 - and 785 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

The highlight of the day was, obviously, a am Fool's first gig since J.s surgery, first gig of 2013, and first gig as a 5-piece. It was a little rough, but it was good. I got great positive feedback from people who had and hadn't heard us before.

And I enjoyed myself. Although I didn't think we'd get paid at all (it was just an opening set), we were paid in drink tokens (only one for each of us. Laughable). I used mine on a Jameson's, and a fan friend who'd never seen me drink before (I rarely drink when I go out) bought me another shot.

I got a little buzz on from that. I'm getting old. After, I went out for a bite, but, unusually, it didn't bring me down, and I went to a 24-hour grocery (actually, my usual, everyday grocery, which happens to be open all the time) and bought some pig-out food.

Still didn't come down for a few hours. 

One more thing I need to be careful about.

Please leave a comment if you visit my blog. Thank you!

 Food and Diet Section

First-half year 2013 daily weight

Today's Weight:         205.4 lbs

Yesterday's Weight:     209.2 lbs

Day Net Loss/Gain:      - 3.8 lbs

Diet Comment

A big loss today means I will do my High-Calorie, High-Carb day today, after all.

Food Log 

Breakfast (1pm)

Ezekiel Golden Flax sprouted grain cereal with blueberries, almond milk, hemp seeds and stevia-inulin.

Lunch

Brown rice pasta, peas, spaghetti sauce with sausage.

Dinner
At Mama Nancy's (11PM):

Half a "Big Anthony Fritatta" which includes eggs, poratoes, sausage, pepperoni, broccoli, Swiss cheese, ham, peppers and onions.

Snack

OK, I went a little crazy here - two Jameson's after our little gig, and I wasn't satisfied with a Big Anthony! I went out and bought coffee-chocolate chip ice cream and some peanut M&Ms, and finished both a little after midnight. O-o-oh.

Liquid Intake   

   Coffee:  42 oz.   Water:  64+ oz.  Jameson's: 2 shots.   

Please leave a comment if you visit my blog. Thank you!

 

February 22

Post 750, Day 53 of 2013
 - and 784 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

Every once in a while, I get drawn into something that hits the 'replay' button from my childhood.

Most recently, it took the form of a contest for i am Fool to win a slot to open a show in one of the areas prestige performance spaces. The deal is this: Be unsigned, have original material, then submit a video. The video of the top five submitters (it ended up being six) with the most Facebook 'likes' gets the slot.

Now, if the best videos were shown, and the promoters simply picked the one they thought would make the best opener, I'd have nothing to write about today.

Instead, it is a popularity contest. I seriously doubt anybody but me (or, possibly other members of the bands in the contest) will watch all the videos. I didn't watch all of every video, but I watched every one of them at least part way through.

And now, roll the tape:

When I was in high school, there was a club in Flushing that had a weekly Battle of the Bands. The winner was the band with "the most applause." As it turns out, this meant the band who brought the most friends.

When my band played, there were whoops and screams. My band was a 6-piece band: drums and bass, guitar, sax and keyboards, and a lead singer (believe it or not, that was me). Every other band was bass and drums, and one or two guitars. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but my band brought more. And, by the testimony of friends and the members of other bands there, gave the strongest performance. By far.

Of the five bands there, we came in fourth. The fifth-place band was a three-piece group that hadn't even been able to finish their set without borrowing an amp from one of the other groups - they were not only terrible, but they were tone-deaf and were obviously playing as a 'goof'.

I heard from many of the other musicians, that they wouldn't mind their group losing to us.

But, outside of a band that showed up just to have played on a real stage, we had the fewest friends in the audience, although, if I may say so, not the fewest admirers. But it wasn't a battle of the bands, it was a battle of the fans: The biggest network wins.

I was angry. Everybody acknowledged the winner was, at most, the third-best band that played. But they brought the most people.

I swore then that I would never compete that way again.

Now, almost fifty years later, I feel the same way about the contest my band is in. Of the six entries, we are in third place as I write this, with one third less than the votes of the leader. The two groups ahead of us have videos of a live performance they gave where they placed first and second at a battle of the bands. They brag about their youth: Their average age is sixteen. The leader mentions that this is their first and only original song. We are seriously outgunned.

Sometimes, history repeats itself in the ugliest of ways.

Please leave a comment if you visit my blog. Thank you!

 Food and Diet Section

First-half year 2013 daily weight

Today's Weight:         209.2 lbs

Yesterday's Weight:     207.2 lbs

Day Net Loss/Gain:      + 2.0 lbs

Diet Comment

While the idea that cheaters never win may be wrong sometimes, it is, I think, always true when you are on a diet. My weight up big, and I'm not liking my own behavior. I have corrected today. We'll see if I can reverse the process, undo the damage.

Yesterday will count as my HCHC day this week, so I'll have to be good tomorrow.

Food Log 

Breakfast
Cocoa-kale-hemp-seed-protein shake: Almond milk, kale, cocoa, hemp seeds, a large egg, vanilla whey powder (24g protein),  cinnamon, stevia-inulin blend.

Lunch

Roasted turkey breast with black beans on Spring Mix, baby spinach, cole slaw mix and balsamic vinaigrette.

Dinner

Spinach and scrambled eggs with salsa and a side of cauliflower 'mashed faux-tatoes'.

Snack

Hard-boiled eggs with guacamole and cole slaw, and Greek yogurt with blueberries and stevia-inulin blend.

Liquid Intake   

   Coffee:  39 oz.   Water:  98+ oz.  

Please leave a comment if you visit my blog. Thank you!

 

February 21

Post 749, Day 52 of 2013
 - and 783 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

It appears the comments are working again. Yes, Joan, I have been seeing all your comments - I think. Yesterday was the day a problem was found. Today, your comment appeared (obviously) in yesterday's blog, as well as previous comments, to which I was able to write and post responses. 

OK - let's hope that's the end of that.

I am lacking in inspiration today. I think it's my diet fail. 

That's it for today's comment. You can read my food stuff, or not, and I'll see you tomorrow.

Please leave a comment if you visit my blog. Thank you!

 Food and Diet Section

First-half year 2013 daily weight

Today's Weight:         207.2 lbs

Yesterday's Weight:     207.6 lbs

Day Net Loss/Gain:      - 0.4 lbs

Diet Comment

A little loss is better than a little gain. I had a good day today, so should have a good day tomorrow.

Food Log 

Breakfast
Cocoa-kale-hemp-chia seed-protein shake: Almond milk, kale, cocoa, hemp seeds, chia seeds, a large egg, vanilla whey powder (24g protein),  cinnamon, stevia-inulin blend.

Lunch

Salmon salad with black beans and celery. Not shown: Spring Mix, baby spinach, cole slaw mix salad with balsamic vinaigrette.

Snack/Fail
Oreos, Reese's PB Cups and Peanut M&Ms.

Dinner

Hard-boiled eggs, pepperoni and celery with spicy home-made mayonnaise. Eaten late.

Liquid Intake   

   Coffee:  30 oz.   Water:  128+ oz.  

Please leave a comment if you visit my blog. Thank you!

 

February 20

Post 748, Day 51 of 2013
 - and 782 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

First of all, I apologize for asking everybody to leave a comment, and the comment feature seems to be broken. I didn't make any changes to the options, but the comment box doesn't open. Please keep trying, and feel free to email me, or if you're on Facebook, message me (don't post, that's too public).

OK. That bit of of business is done.

Another thing I've found while planning to move overseas, and doing research, and talking to people about it: In the US, we have no idea what living in other countries is like. We never hear anything except sensational stories, political/war stories, or natural disasters when it comes to other countries. We don't know about day-to-day life in other places.

And day-to-day life is not what you see when you're on a vacation, any more than what you do on vacation is your typical behavior, at least not if you're like me.

A lot of the expat stories I read or hear begin with a living or working assignment in a foreign country, and a surprise at finding that there is something about being in that foreign country that is attractive, and compelling. Today, I read the story of a Peace Corps volunteer who was assigned to Ecuador, and had to look it up (it was pre-internet) in an encyclopedia to find any information about it. 

Once she got there, she loved the country, ended up marrying an Ecuadorian, and 29 years later she acts as a guide for other expats, sharing her knowledge and love of her adopted country.

I have read the stories of other seekers, people who tried out several places, and found one that worked for them. And stories of people who tried out a place, it worked, but they got restless to see other places, and it led them to wildly different lifestyles in different countries, or, in one case, to become permanent travelers, spending 3 months at a time in a place, and then going to the next, sometimes coming back, sometimes not. 

When you have few permanent possessions, as you must when you travel, it is not so difficult to uproot yourself when you get bored, or succumb to wanderlust, or find yourself in a less attractive situation than you were in when you decided to stay in a place.

At least, that is what I think - these ideas resonate with me. Could I be wrong? Could I be overly romanticizing? Could I be emotionally, economically, or physically unprepared for this adventure? 

Yes. But I won't know until I start my boots-on-the-ground initial phase of retirement.

Please leave a comment if you visit my blog. Thank you!

 Food and Diet Section

First-half year 2013 daily weight

Today's Weight:         207.6 lbs

Yesterday's Weight:     207.4 lbs

Day Net Loss/Gain:      + 0.2 lbs

Diet Comment

The same as yesterday, to all intents and purposes. I would have lost weight, but for the late night fat-fest (mayonnaise) and the earlier cookie-cheat.

Was today better? Yes.

Food Log 

Breakfast
Skipped.

Lunch
At Ling-Ling's Chinese Buffet and Grill:

Brussels sprouts, kimchee, and, from the "Mongolian Grill", my go-to dish, pork and chicken with bean sprouts, cabbage, onions, mushrooms, green peppers, snow pea pods and broccoli.

Snack
Pepperoni and celery with home-made mayonnaise.

Dinner

Natural turkey burger on cauliflower with Rajma Shahi (red beans and tomato curry). Not shown: Spring Mix, baby spinach, cole slaw mix salad with balsamic vinaigrette.

Liquid Intake   

   Coffee:  20 oz.   Water:  90+ oz.  

Please leave a comment if you visit my blog. Thank you!