#2820, Wednesday, April 27, 2022: Focus on future equals anxiety

Post 2820

- 12 years and 117 days since I started this blog -

February 20, 2022

Daily Comment

Things get better, things get worse. Change happens. Today, things mostly got better - but not my sleep.

I'm getting a bit more anxious, but a bit more ready to accept what happens, as regards to my sister's upcoming move.

Today, I got some much-needed help for her down in Brooklyn, to prepare.

It was a huge relief. But I'm more anxious about the moving day. So it goes.

I've been getting a lot of positive feedback regarding my role and activities, but I feel like it's just short of enough - which is irrational.

I'm having irrational thoughts. Because I'm living in the future, with uncertainty I am finding very uncomfortable. All anxiety comes from living in the future.

It was bad tonight - so bad that I skipped my regular open mic at Shifty's. That's bad, and the opposite of what I should have done.

And my appetite is down.

I only realized, as I wrote this, that there is an explanation for my sleeplessness and anxiety: I'm taking new medication. I'm certain it's the source of these problems. It is too coincidental that the symptoms started after I started taking a once-canceled prescription for arrhythmia, and doubling one of my other heart medications. 

Glad I figured that out. I'll be talking with my cardiologist, the beautiful Dr. Hana Smith, next week, and I'll try to get off these pills.

I'm grateful for the knowledge that my anxiety and fear are groundless, and I will move past this temporary glitch.

Food and Diet 

Today's Weight:                    195.5 lbs.

Previous Weight (4/26/22):         196.5 lbs.

Net Loss/Gain:                     - 1.0 lbs.

Diet Comment

To paraphrase Mr. Miyagi, "Weight on, weight off." 

Food Log

Breakfast
2:40pm: Oatmeal+ (rolled oats, chia and hemp seeds, oat milk, mixed berries, walnuts, nutritional yeast, cacao nibs, whey protein powder, kefir, Greek yogurt).

Lunch
7:45pm: Peanut butter and a Quest bar.

Dinner
Skipped.
Liquid Intake

   Espressos: 1;   Coffee: 20 oz.;  Water: 36+ oz.; 

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