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Post 2111
- 7 years and 198 days since I started this blog -
- 7 years and 198 days since I started this blog -
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I get a lot of positive feedback that I seem to be happy (that was a joke). I do consider myself a happy guy, and I don't take my happiness for granted. I am very grateful.
But I know that while happiness is a choice, even when the choice is made, it is not an all-the-time thing. I am not always happy, mainly because I'm not always thinking about, considering or feeling like a choice has to be made.
Sometimes, especially when I'm alone, I'm neither happy nor sad - there is a neutral resting state of my emotions that is, in the same way visual black is the absence of colors, the absence of emotions.
Besides actually making the decision to be happy, the biggest influence on my happiness is the ability to let go. I have an exercise I've done so often it has become as natural as pulling your hand away from a hot stove. It just formalizes the act of letting go. This is a coping mechanism I use for the things that have a negative initial impact.
Then, there are days like today.
A little background: We have had seven days in a row of high temps - it is that way all over New England. My apartment is warm. My air conditioner is working, but due to the apartment below me being vacant, it cannot deal with the outside temperature and the heat coming up through the floor from the hot apartment below. This has made sleeping difficult, even with a fan on in the room.
Beginning at three in the morning, when I checked my e-mail (you know I have an extremely third-shift sleep schedule, right?) and found that my Airbnb reservation for my brother, sister-in-law and myself to overnight at my niece's wedding had been canceled by the host.
I was up for another two hours (5am is a late bed-time even for me) finding another place - there aren't many 2-bedroom apartments available on Airbnb. No place available at any price was as convenient as the original one, and to get one at approximately the same price I had to widen the search area.
So, sleep-deprived, I woke up to find a note from my new host congratulating me on my niece's wedding and adding, unfortunately, the listing went up just yesterday, and there is an error, because the apartment will not be available at all in August.
I shrug, the refund is immediate, only time has been lost. The ensuing search yields only a more expensive apartment, located a twenty-plus minute drive from the wedding. Plus it's a walk-up. The original apartment was an eight-minute walk away from the wedding. Sigh. Let it go.
Next on the agenda is to file the paperwork with T-mobile to get my Verizon phone paid off. This has been an ongoing struggle, since Verizon's final bill didn't have the refund amount in a T-mobile-approved format. The problem has been going on for weeks.
And that's where the day got really bad.
Paperwork filed, I get an almost immediate response that my refund has been approved and processed, for the entire amount, less the trade-in value of my phone.
This would seem fair, except when I originally applied for the refund, I was told by T-mobile that if I kept my phone, I would get the whole payoff amount if I kept my phone, so I did. When I went back to straighten out a billing problem a week later,
Today's Weight: 205.4 lbs.
Previous Weight (7/16/18): 205.4 lbs.
But I know that while happiness is a choice, even when the choice is made, it is not an all-the-time thing. I am not always happy, mainly because I'm not always thinking about, considering or feeling like a choice has to be made.
Sometimes, especially when I'm alone, I'm neither happy nor sad - there is a neutral resting state of my emotions that is, in the same way visual black is the absence of colors, the absence of emotions.
Besides actually making the decision to be happy, the biggest influence on my happiness is the ability to let go. I have an exercise I've done so often it has become as natural as pulling your hand away from a hot stove. It just formalizes the act of letting go. This is a coping mechanism I use for the things that have a negative initial impact.
Then, there are days like today.
A little background: We have had seven days in a row of high temps - it is that way all over New England. My apartment is warm. My air conditioner is working, but due to the apartment below me being vacant, it cannot deal with the outside temperature and the heat coming up through the floor from the hot apartment below. This has made sleeping difficult, even with a fan on in the room.
Beginning at three in the morning, when I checked my e-mail (you know I have an extremely third-shift sleep schedule, right?) and found that my Airbnb reservation for my brother, sister-in-law and myself to overnight at my niece's wedding had been canceled by the host.
I was up for another two hours (5am is a late bed-time even for me) finding another place - there aren't many 2-bedroom apartments available on Airbnb. No place available at any price was as convenient as the original one, and to get one at approximately the same price I had to widen the search area.
So, sleep-deprived, I woke up to find a note from my new host congratulating me on my niece's wedding and adding, unfortunately, the listing went up just yesterday, and there is an error, because the apartment will not be available at all in August.
I shrug, the refund is immediate, only time has been lost. The ensuing search yields only a more expensive apartment, located a twenty-plus minute drive from the wedding. Plus it's a walk-up. The original apartment was an eight-minute walk away from the wedding. Sigh. Let it go.
Next on the agenda is to file the paperwork with T-mobile to get my Verizon phone paid off. This has been an ongoing struggle, since Verizon's final bill didn't have the refund amount in a T-mobile-approved format. The problem has been going on for weeks.
And that's where the day got really bad.
Paperwork filed, I get an almost immediate response that my refund has been approved and processed, for the entire amount, less the trade-in value of my phone.
This would seem fair, except when I originally applied for the refund, I was told by T-mobile that if I kept my phone, I would get the whole payoff amount if I kept my phone, so I did. When I went back to straighten out a billing problem a week later,
Food and Diet
Net Loss/Gain: - 0.0 lbs.
Diet Comment
Darn! I expected a loss. Oh, well - there's always tomorrow.
Food Log
Breakfast
Skipped.
Lunch
7:10pm: Salmon and eggs and brussel sprouts.
Dinner
12:30am: Pepperoni, Dubliner cheese and a Quest bar.
Liquid Intake
Skipped.
Lunch
7:10pm: Salmon and eggs and brussel sprouts.
Dinner
12:30am: Pepperoni, Dubliner cheese and a Quest bar.
Liquid Intake
Espressos: 0; Coffee: 0 oz.; Tea: 0 oz.; Water: 44+ oz.; and a shot of Jameson's Irish whiskey.
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