#2669, Friday, June 11, '21: Issues

Post 2669

- 11 years and 162 days since I started this blog -

Night Drop, June 6, 2021

Daily Comment

If I'm being honest (I am), I have to admit I'm in a bit of a funk as of late. I don't want to overstate it - I am not worried, I don't think I'm falling back into depression.

I think I'm just struggling to accept some of the things going on around me. Usually I'm adept at letting go and moving on. Not doing that so well at the moment is what I'm talking about.

There are a few things on my mind:

Of course, there are the new wrinkles to my medical situation: A bit of skin cancer on my ear and the ongoing arthritis situation, now including a recent and new flare-up in my right hip. 

And, there's the status of my band I am Fool, and the reopening music scene, that is hampering my ability to let go and move on enjoying things. 

And, again, being honest, there's the cruel girlfriend rejection I suffered in April, and the lingering attempts - now ended - to remedy that situation, which only added to my bad feelings.

I don't want to overstate: At the moment, I am in arguably better shape, physically and emotionally, than before my heart surgery, which is the earliest event among the setbacks I am dealing with.

The medical stuff is being dealt with, but in the meantime, I have reduced my physical activity. And that's not good. Feeling a bit recovered from my recent hip pain, I am going to start walking again.

And I am Fool will sort itself out, one way or another: We'll either resume being a performing band or we won't. 

The girlfriend thing is more complicated. I don't deal with rejection very well, and the way that all went down has me questioning some things about the way I'm going forward. 

I ended up hearing a lot of criticism and negativity about myself and my lifestyle. I've been thinking about that, and have decided to make some changes, realizing that nothing I'm changing isn't something I've wanted to change for a while.

My relatively recent decision not to emigrate has changed the priority of these changes. 

It comes down to being a 71-year old man still struggling with his mommy issues, I think.

I just realized I've given the most discussion to the girlfriend-related stuff. I'll be thinking about that...

Anyway, it's all something that may dissipate completely with a nice hot tub soak, and I'm scheduled for that tomorrow.

I'm grateful for the family, friends, and inner resources I have that will help me move forward.

Food and Diet 

Today's Weight:                    199.0 lbs.

Previous Weight (6/10/21):         198.1 lbs.

Net Loss/Gain:                     + 0.9 lbs.

Diet Comment

I'm finishing the week with a pound loss, even though I'm up almost that much for the day. Better to take the long view, and note that I'm very happy with the weight I'm at.

Food Log

Breakfast
1:30pm: Ultimate Overnight Oatmeal with blackberries, blueberries, raspberries, walnuts, hemp and chia seeds, whey protein, mushroom powder, Greek yogurt and kefir.

Lunch
Skipped. 

Dinner
9:50pm:

Cod with pesto sauce, green beans and cherry tomatoes. Not shown: A Quest bar.

Snack
11:55pm: Swiss cheese and walnuts.

Liquid Intake

   Espressos: 1;   Coffee: 22 oz.;  Water: 84+ oz.; 

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