Post 716, Day 19 of 2013
- and 750 days since I started this blog.-
Daily Comment
- and 750 days since I started this blog.-
Daily Comment
Always, I'm afraid of the unknown future - afraid of what my experience of life would be if I lost something I value. Afraid of what would happen if I could not support myself, or if I lost contact with those I love, whose support I rely on to affirm my social worth.
There have been few times in the past when the prospects of my circumstances at that particular time have scared me, but I remember them. Thankfully, the memory is not vivid; I only remember the fear.
It is difficult to think about fear and not think about what I'm afraid of. In fact, it isn't very interesting for me to do that, it seems to abstract to look at the nature of fear. Perhaps, if I was more fearful, I would consider it otherwise.
I've been told, by witnesses, that I remain calm in situations when they would be "freaking out." It doesn't seem anything more than pragmatic behavior to me. In 'dangerous' situations - those that involve potential loss - I try to remain in the present, and direct my actions according to my most desired outcome. I don't 'awful-ize' the situation, or dwell on the repercussions of potential loss before I have realized that loss. So, calm and focused, I try and stay in the present.
In the same vein, I've been told by some that I am unemotional, and I don't think that's true at all. I don't think being rational and being emotional are opposite, just that there are different circumstances that call for one or the other, or some blending. I do admit to find blending the two difficult, and can think of many situations where that has failed. Situations that call for the rational tend to have worse outcomes when emotion is mixed in, and its true the other way around. There's a time and a place.
I tend to be an all-in guy.
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Today's Weight: 206.0 lbs
Food and Diet Section
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| First-half year 2013 daily weight |
Yesterday's Weight: 204.8 lbs
Day Net Loss/Gain: + 1.2 lbs
Diet Comment
My weight is up quite a bit since last Saturday, thanks, almost entirely, to unscheduled cheats - the equivalent to unforced errors. Today's cheat will be simple: Only two items (although both contain different whole ingredients).
Food Log
Breakfast |
| Ezekiel Golden Flax sprouted grain cereal with blueberries, almond milk, and stevia-inulin blend. |
Lunch and Snack
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| Second Nature Wholesome Blend: peanuts, cashews, almonds, raisins, cranberries and dark chocolate. |
Dinner
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| Chicken burgers with guacamole and salsa. |
Liquid Intake
Coffee: 30 oz, Water: 88+ oz. Redbreast Irish Whiskey, ~4 oz.
Please leave a comment if you visit my blog. Thank you!
I think of you as very brave. I think you have dealt with situations (in which I would be very frightened and feeling very helpless) with a great deal of thoughtful and helpful aplomb. I have often felt held up by your ability to see through to a rational solution.
ReplyDeleteWell, thank you. I haven't always been so courageous, and don't really EVER think of myself that way - but I do somehow have a temperament that has been valuable in surviving or outlasting the things that inspire fear. And I'm not, in general, fearful. Or maybe just better at denial?
DeleteLove you!