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Post 1768, Day 320 of 2016
- 2,146 days since I started this blog -
- 2,146 days since I started this blog -
My last best hope to finish up the year, the last quarter of the year, with some good earnings from playing (a minor secondary motivation, for sure) were dashed today when I was informed that my Thursday night gigs subbing on bass had been given to someone else.
I felt betrayed. For the last four years, whenever the house bass player couldn't make the regular Thursday gig, I was his first call to substitute.
When he scheduled knee-replacement surgery, he asked if I could sub for him and I agreed. This was in weeks in advance. The week before his surgery, we were talking about it, and I asked if he had told the other band members that I would be subbing. He had not.
When I did, I was told they already had a sub for next week. When I asked about the rest of the weeks, they told me they'd work something out.
Today I found out that meant they were going to give all the rest of the weeks to the same guy.
My gigging calendar is empty until the end of January now.
I haven't had a paying gig since mid-September.
Worse, I don't feel like I can support the open mic that has been like a home to me the last six or seven years.
I spent a good part of the day working through my emotions, but it is going to take longer than a day. I have to remember that this is a closing chapter anyway: Mac's is more than likely going away before the end of the year. Also, no matter what their decision-making process, these musicians are not making a (valid) judgment of me, it is a particular situation, and I have to resist judging them.
I had a good practice last night with i am Fool, and it included a discussion of how we could get out and play more, but I couldn't lose the sad feeling as I told the story, and my current playing options have been so dramatically reduced recently.
I tried to put it behind me. After practice, I went to the open mic that is currently hosted by the guy who replaced me - he is a friend, and, since he is fundamentally a guitarist, and one of the first I played with when I started going to open mics, I have played with him quite a lot over the last six years. But I was feeling pretty drained after rehearsal and a day of petulance, greeted the bartender and my friend, and, since no one was playing, left pretty quickly.
And went home and stress-ate while watching TV. I can't even remember what I watched.
Iknow better than to let a momentary setback spoil my day, but I've had a hard time letting go and all I can say is, I'm grateful for another day for things to be good, to regain my perspective, my balance.
I felt betrayed. For the last four years, whenever the house bass player couldn't make the regular Thursday gig, I was his first call to substitute.
When he scheduled knee-replacement surgery, he asked if I could sub for him and I agreed. This was in weeks in advance. The week before his surgery, we were talking about it, and I asked if he had told the other band members that I would be subbing. He had not.
When I did, I was told they already had a sub for next week. When I asked about the rest of the weeks, they told me they'd work something out.
Today I found out that meant they were going to give all the rest of the weeks to the same guy.
My gigging calendar is empty until the end of January now.
I haven't had a paying gig since mid-September.
Worse, I don't feel like I can support the open mic that has been like a home to me the last six or seven years.
I spent a good part of the day working through my emotions, but it is going to take longer than a day. I have to remember that this is a closing chapter anyway: Mac's is more than likely going away before the end of the year. Also, no matter what their decision-making process, these musicians are not making a (valid) judgment of me, it is a particular situation, and I have to resist judging them.
I had a good practice last night with i am Fool, and it included a discussion of how we could get out and play more, but I couldn't lose the sad feeling as I told the story, and my current playing options have been so dramatically reduced recently.
I tried to put it behind me. After practice, I went to the open mic that is currently hosted by the guy who replaced me - he is a friend, and, since he is fundamentally a guitarist, and one of the first I played with when I started going to open mics, I have played with him quite a lot over the last six years. But I was feeling pretty drained after rehearsal and a day of petulance, greeted the bartender and my friend, and, since no one was playing, left pretty quickly.
And went home and stress-ate while watching TV. I can't even remember what I watched.
Iknow better than to let a momentary setback spoil my day, but I've had a hard time letting go and all I can say is, I'm grateful for another day for things to be good, to regain my perspective, my balance.
Food and Diet
Today's Weight: 203.0 lbs.
Diet Comment
Previous Weight (11/14): 203.2 lbs.
Net Loss/Gain: - 0.2 lbs.
Diet Comment
Big nothing, but at least, not worse!
Food Log
Breakfast
6:00pm:
6:00pm:
 |
| Omelet with peppers, onion, greens, chia seeds, hemp seeds, feta and parmesan cheeses and bacon. Not shown: a slice of Ezekiel 4:9 Flax sprouted grain toast. |
Lunch
10:45pm: A Quest bar.
Dinner
Dinner
12:00am: Buffalo chicken breast, pepperoni, cottage cheese, and dark chocolate.
Liquid Intake
Espressos: 1; Coffee: 16 oz.; Tea: 0 oz.; Water: 72+ oz.
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