Wednesday September 3 Weekend reflection

Post 1268, Day 246 of 2014
- 1,342 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

A friend of mine is paralyzed facing retirement, to the point that he is staying in a job he hates, when he could easily remove this stress from his life. He is my age.
But he doesn't know what he would do if he retired. The prospect of having time on his hands - free time - scares him shitless. He is afraid he would get depressed.

I don't get it. I don't understand why I don't get it, either. I see retirement as nothing but opportunity.

He says it is because of our very different natures. I am adventurous, he has always clung to security. He doesn't see the irony.

I have no idea what my life will be like when working for a living is behind me. Not having to work or scheme to have food and pay the rent will be a new experience for me. 

I am approaching it with curiosity - I am happily anticipating what this liberation will mean. My friend, on the other hand, is full of fear.

I guess he's afraid of what he would find out. All my suggestions sound dangerous to him: Travel being my first thought on the matter. He says he lacks what I have, something I'm passionate about.

But... He has resources (financial) that I lack. We are similarly unencumbered by family responsibilities, our children being grown and we are both unattached single men. 

He doesn't see the opportunity. I think it is because it is a new experience and, instead of getting excited to find out what it is about, he can't go forward without a plan, without foreknowledge of how it will turn out.

This idea, that the 'how' is important, is at the center of the issue. My friend Mike Dooley calls this the 'cursed hows' of life (comparable to sacred cows). He says you need never worry about how you achieve anything, and your attempt to control things by determining how you get to your good result is self-defeating.

If you want a million dollars, and you concentrate on how you are going to get a million dollars, you limit the chances of success to that way alone. If, instead, you take steps toward that fortune based on your best current knowledge, and pay attention to any opportunities you encounter along the way, your chances of succeeding are much better.

Admitting that you are not completely in control of the "cursed hows" is tough. It means the future is uncertain, but also implies that flexibility is at least as important as a plan. And it requires a degree of optimism.

The unknowable future does not unfold according to anyone's plan. We have no say - it happens, and happens with or without our planning, or even our cooperation.

Me? On occasion, I've gotten dragged down wondering how I was going to do something or fix something, and times where, in the face of that, I've gotten lost and felt powerless and depressed. 

But, for the most part, I've learned to roll with it.

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 Food and Diet Section

2014 Daily Weight

Today's Weight:          210.6 lbs

Previous Weight:         214.0 lbs

Day Net Loss/Gain:       - 3.4 lbs
                        
Diet Comment

One day of good progress. I'm trying to put a bunch more together, one day at a time (really, what other choice do I have?).

Food Log 

Breakfast
Skipped.

Lunch
At Ling-Ling's Chinese Buffet and Grill:

Brussels sprouts, kimchee, and, from the "Mongolian Grill", my go-to dish: pork and chicken with cabbage, onions, mushrooms, green peppers and broccoli.

Dinner

Celery and home-made mayonnaise.

Liquid Intake

   Coffee:  26 oz.   Water: 64+ oz.

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