Tuesday, September 2 Accept as found

Post 1267, Day 245 of 2014
- 1,341 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

This weekend, I had a very enjoyable time hanging out with people I have known for more than five decades. A couple and another friend, single for the weekend; they all grew up in my neighborhood.
The basis for our friendship was co-location and shared activities. We all lived in the same neighborhood, which was big on baby-boomers of Jewish parents. By and large, we went to the same schools. And we did stuff together, usually in groups.

Never one to run with the herd, I maintained more one-on-one relationships. Always accepted by the group, I remained a little outside. I missed a lot of initiation and bonding events. Everybody knew me, I knew everybody, but there wasn't much intimacy.

Therefore, these three days of the Labor Day weekend, spent in the couple's home in Woodstock, NY, was new territory for all of us. I think it was fun for all of us, and we got a chance to reassess our ideas about each other, formed more than fifty years ago.

I am assuming my experience was similar to theirs: I had pre-formed assumptions and expectations about what my friends were like. A few were validated, and many were discarded.

On my part, I needed to pay attention, and realized many times how judging interfered with that. When my friends 'defied' my expectations, I had to remind myself that, as friends, I owed them judgment-free attention. I had to consciously set my own self-talk aside and accept them for who they are, not who I thought they were.

In conversation, one person put everything in terms of price. I found this perspective off-putting. Cost isn't much of a factor for me - things are both affordable and desirable, or they aren't part of my life. Having this enter every conversation took some adjustment on my part. I reflected, though on why this bothered me, and realized this as the external expression of something internal, not on view. The thing was exposed to me to take or leave, as I found it.

A mutual friend came up in discussion. He had been a pretty radical leftist in his earlier days, then he moved away, and everyone lost track of him, and when, thanks to Facebook, he re-emerged, it was as a right-wing radical. The others found his current politics upsetting. I just wondered about the story behind his change of heart.

I also realized the source (at least one source) of the 'Ken is aloof' perception. I think it stems from being accepted as a member of a group, but not fully participating. 

One of my friends went on at length about his new perception of me as calm, unflappable, non-judgmental and non-demanding. And accessible.

The opinion was that my ease and willingness to take things as they came, without conditions, made me a good guest, and fun to be around. The expression used was "easy to please".

That felt good.

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 Food and Diet Section

2014 Daily Weight

Today's Weight:          214.0 lbs

Previous Weight* :       208.0 lbs

Day Net Loss/Gain:       + 6.0 lbs
                           * Friday, August 29
Diet Comment

What happens when I take a long weekend, and decide to just eat what everybody else does? I end up eating a lot more than everyone else does, and, I end up eating things that I normally wouldn't eat, even on a cheat day. I mean, I had corn this weekend, for the first time in years! And, like I said, lots of it!

OK - the rest of the week, no cheats.

Food Log 

Breakfast
Skipped.

Lunch

A cocoa-hemp-kale protein shake (almond-coconut milk, kefir, kale, large organic egg, whey powder (24g protein), hemp seeds, hemp protein (7g protein), raw organic cacao powder, chia gel, celery, moringa leaf powder, cinnamon and stevia-inulin blend.

Dinner

Pepperoni, celery and homemade mayonnaise.

Liquid Intake

   Coffee:  28 oz.   Water: 100+ oz.

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