Post 2235
- 8 years and 98 days since I started this blog -
Comment
It has taken a long time - really, almost two months - to get over being replaced in Modafferi.
During those days, most thoughts I had about the band were unpleasant. While I was (and am) disappointed not to be making music with that group, by and large, getting fired didn't weigh me down much at all.
The fact that nobody in the band ever - has ever - spoken to me since an uninformative conversation with Tami about what was going on (in mid-January, when she answered a call I made from Thailand), that bothered me. A lot.
I don't understand it. They seem to want me to just fade away, so they can be done with me without having to do anything.
They have not returned calls, they have not answered texts.
However, this past Saturday I did get a message saying they were going to use another bass player at that night's gig - two hours before the gig started. I have no idea what they were thinking about me that they thought that was, somehow, necessary. I'm assuming they meant no harm, but did they think, after weeks of silence, that I hadn't figured that out?
But I'm glad they sent it. I stopped out to listen to the lineup, and see whether there was a musical reason to replace me - if the new bass player improved the band. The answer was 'no'. I'm relieved, because that means they're just opting for someone who's available year-round. That is a legitimate reason. And there are probably other non-musical reasons - the new bass player is a close friend of theirs.
As far as the way it was handled, well, after seeing the new lineup, I don't care. At least, I can stop myself from wondering about it all the time. It will be whatever it becomes now that the bandmate relationship is over.
That night, in the ensuing hours, enjoying another band in another club, I was able to let it all go.
Big relief. Because I was stuck, and knew I had to let it go. My 'letting go' exercise, despite repetition, had failed me. Seeing them perform without me turned out to be cathartic.
The very next night, I got a new gig with my friend Frank Stepanek. That's the way it works.
I'm really grateful.
Food and Diet
During those days, most thoughts I had about the band were unpleasant. While I was (and am) disappointed not to be making music with that group, by and large, getting fired didn't weigh me down much at all.
The fact that nobody in the band ever - has ever - spoken to me since an uninformative conversation with Tami about what was going on (in mid-January, when she answered a call I made from Thailand), that bothered me. A lot.
I don't understand it. They seem to want me to just fade away, so they can be done with me without having to do anything.
They have not returned calls, they have not answered texts.
However, this past Saturday I did get a message saying they were going to use another bass player at that night's gig - two hours before the gig started. I have no idea what they were thinking about me that they thought that was, somehow, necessary. I'm assuming they meant no harm, but did they think, after weeks of silence, that I hadn't figured that out?
But I'm glad they sent it. I stopped out to listen to the lineup, and see whether there was a musical reason to replace me - if the new bass player improved the band. The answer was 'no'. I'm relieved, because that means they're just opting for someone who's available year-round. That is a legitimate reason. And there are probably other non-musical reasons - the new bass player is a close friend of theirs.
As far as the way it was handled, well, after seeing the new lineup, I don't care. At least, I can stop myself from wondering about it all the time. It will be whatever it becomes now that the bandmate relationship is over.
That night, in the ensuing hours, enjoying another band in another club, I was able to let it all go.
Big relief. Because I was stuck, and knew I had to let it go. My 'letting go' exercise, despite repetition, had failed me. Seeing them perform without me turned out to be cathartic.
The very next night, I got a new gig with my friend Frank Stepanek. That's the way it works.
I'm really grateful.
Today's Weight: 203.2 lbs.
Previous Weight (4/5/19): 202.1 lbs.
Net Loss/Gain: + 1.1 lbs.
Diet Comment
Food Log
Breakfast
Skipped.
Lunch
10:45pm: Green fretta (eggs, kale, spinach, bacon, onions, peppers, cheddar cheese) and a Quest bar.
Dinner
Skipped.
Liquid Intake
Skipped.
Lunch
10:45pm: Green fretta (eggs, kale, spinach, bacon, onions, peppers, cheddar cheese) and a Quest bar.
Dinner
Skipped.
Liquid Intake
Espressos: 0; Coffee: 18 oz.; Tea: 0 oz.; Water: 48+ oz.; a shot of Jameson's Irish whiskey and two bottles of Corona Extra.
Please leave a comment when you visit my blog.
Thank you!
Thank you!
No comments:
Post a Comment