June 21

Post 866, Day 171 of 2013
- and 902 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

Have I become so complacent I've forgotten how to deal with disappointment?

Maybe. Especially if I'm disappointed in myself, which, right now, I am.

My lack of effective action in addressing this year's weight gain is one of two things that is making me feel bad. This is something I have gone through every couple-three years my whole adult life.

It is familiar, and so is the self-loathing it causes me, when I let it. 

I know what to do - I am just not doing it. Why? There's something going on here, when, in most other ways my life seems so good, nearly perfect, I have to create some drama for myself. There are two ways I'm doing that: The first, as I'm saying,  is by causing myself a weight problem (again).

The second is by being a terrible slob. This is a life-long bit of OCD that I find terribly depressing and very, very difficult to deal with. I make Oscar Madison look like, well, Felix Unger. It makes me ashamed of myself, and that starts a downward spiral of just-under-the-surface emotions that paralyzes me, instead of moving me to deal with it.

The (only) good thing about this second problem is that it is not public (well, not until this blog entry). This is the expose, right here, although most of the readers of this blog are quite familiar with it. 

One way to fix it is for me to stop living alone; in the company of a room-mate I don't have much difficulty staying on top of things. 

But finding another person to live with, and then dealing with the ramifications of that insures having to deal with a whole other set of difficulties.

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 Food and Diet Section

2013 Daily Weight

Today's Weight:         213.0 lbs

Yesterday's Weight:     213.0 lbs

Day Net Loss/Gain:      + 0.0 lbs

Diet Comment

As long as I keep doing what I'm doing, I'm going to keep getting the same results. When will that end? I keep saying, Monday. 

So, Monday.

Food Log 

Breakfast

Cocoa-kale-hemp-chia protein shake: Almond milk, kale, cocoa, hemp seeds, chia gel, a large egg, vanilla whey powder (24g protein), cinnamon, vanilla, psyllium and stevia-inulin blend. Lentils and balsamic vinaigrette.

Lunch
Hard-boiled eggs and a salad with Field greens, baby spinach, garbanzo beans and ranch dressing.

Dinner
A Protein bar

Snack
A Protein bar and a salad of Spring Mix greens and cole slaw mix, with balsamic vinaigrette.

Liquid Intake   

   Coffee:  28 oz.   Water:  84+ oz.  and a shot of Tequila at the bar I visited.

Please leave a comment if you visit my blog. Thank you!