June 17

Post 862, Day 167 of 2013
- and 898 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

Is all life a gamble? Yes. What does that mean?

An interesting, and a little disturbing conversation this weekend has me thinking about the concept of life, of existence, as a gamble. The discussion of gambling was sparked by my not buying into the idea that my investments were a gamble. I didn't see it.

The very fact that I took exception to it is probably an indication that it is true, and the truth that it is gambling creates discomfort in my mind. Why? As was pointed out in the dialog, I cannot control whether I profit or lose money with my investments. I am betting against losing, justifying the bet by the historical fact that over any long-term (ten years) period, there hasn't been a loss in the general market. There have been a couple of periods, beginning with investing right before a major market hit, that have taken 10 years to come back, and were barely profitable, but there hasn't been a loss.

As unlikely as it may be, there is an outside possibility that in my lifetime, the companies whose stocks I'm invested in could all go out of business. By having a geographically and industrially diverse portfolio, I've minimized that risk (spread the risk, rather than hedged, which would mean having a counter-investment that would gain if the position lost), and I'm comfortable with the idea that if every one of my stocks went to a value of zero, it wouldn't matter - that's the end of the US monetary system, and it's back to the land. Hopefully, being overseas, I will be in a better position to survive that than if I were in an American city, but there it is: The end of life as I know it.

Also, barring that apocalyptic scenario, I am not depending on my investments for survival. As long as the US government is solvent, and paying social security and my VA pension, I have enough to live on - outside the US, where the cost of maintaining a decent standard of living is less expensive. So even a loss doesn't "hurt," although having a small (but hopefully, growing) nest egg is a comfort. A comfort, but not a necessity.

Back to the concept of my investment as a gamble, and why I am so uncomfortable thinking about it that way. I am afraid I would be emotionally paralyzed if I analyzed all of life - down to the cellular level - as a gamble in the same fashion. Because we gamble every instant of every day. 

Maintaining the illusion of duality is the metaphysical equivalent of infinite coin-tosses, each one assuming there will be a next - the idea of individual survival. Will the next cell-division, or cell-death (the opposites of birth and death) be the final straw that ensures survival or guarantees the end of the organism?

I choose not to dwell on that. I choose not to think of my choices as the gamble they always are. There doesn't seem any way of turning that kind of thinking into a positive to me. And not being positive seems to be the wrong attitude to have when dealing with life.

Of course, I could be wrong about that.

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 Food and Diet Section

2013 daily weight

Today's Weight:         211.8 lbs

Yesterday's Weight:     211.0 lbs

Day Net Loss/Gain:      + 0.8 lbs

Diet Comment

Yesterday's fast didn't stop the weight gain, did it? No.

Food Log 

Breakfast

Cocoa-kale-hemp-chia protein shake: Almond milk, kale, cocoa, hemp seeds, chia seeds, a large egg, vanilla whey powder (24g protein), cinnamon, vanilla, psyllium and stevia-inulin blend.

Lunch

Spring mix with cole slaw mix, tomatoes and balsamic vinaigrette.

Dinner
A protein bar. Lentils and cole slaw.

Snack
Hard-boiled eggs with home-made mayonnaise and guacamole.

Liquid Intake   

   Coffee:  22 oz.   Water:  112+ oz.

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