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Post 1961, Day 306 of 2017
- 2,498 days since I started this blog -
- 2,498 days since I started this blog -
Daily Comment
Good jam last night at the InsideOut. I got to play with a couple of excellent drummers, and a long-time jam partner.
Before getting to that fun, I managed to see my eye doctor (for a regular annual check up I've been scheduling since my diabetes diagnosis) (all good, no changes, thanks for asking), do a full multi-stop grocery run, have a long FaceTime conversation with a friend, and get in a practice session with Modern Mudd.
For me, that's a busy day, although I look at it written down and think, how lucky am I that that is what I see as busy.
I feel like I'm living a life of ease, albeit without the servants that I always thought accompanied that Town and Country lifestyle, as I envisioned it. The difference? My life is a lot sloppier than people who purchase an easy life normally allow, or even find acceptable.
At the moment, that's a more than acceptable trade-off.
The disorder I create in my apartment - something that seems the inevitable result of me living alone, when viewed historically - is the cost of my amazing (to me, at least) life. It is where the "I don't have to do what I don't want to do" rubber hits the road. It is the dry rot in the foundation.
I know that the time will come when I will spend quite a lot of time cleaning my apartment. It is a gargantuan task, because it isn't just that there's clutter, or even just dirt. Cleaning the apartment means getting rid of a lot of stuff, and that looks not only like something I don't want to do, but an undertaking fraught with emotional pain, and in terms of labor, something physically difficult. Something I'm avoiding, which, in and of itself, probably makes it an undertaking worth doing.
In the here-and-now, I just go along doing the minimum, making frequent unsuccessful attempts to not increase the mess. It works for me, even with the knowledge that every day I come closer to feeling like I have to do that work, that I will have to do something I don't, right now, want to do. Maybe, when I feel I have no choice, I'll find a way to want to do it when the day comes.
Meanwhile, my wonderful life rolls on, with one good time after another. My feeling of gratitude is hard to quantify.
Before getting to that fun, I managed to see my eye doctor (for a regular annual check up I've been scheduling since my diabetes diagnosis) (all good, no changes, thanks for asking), do a full multi-stop grocery run, have a long FaceTime conversation with a friend, and get in a practice session with Modern Mudd.
For me, that's a busy day, although I look at it written down and think, how lucky am I that that is what I see as busy.
I feel like I'm living a life of ease, albeit without the servants that I always thought accompanied that Town and Country lifestyle, as I envisioned it. The difference? My life is a lot sloppier than people who purchase an easy life normally allow, or even find acceptable.
At the moment, that's a more than acceptable trade-off.
The disorder I create in my apartment - something that seems the inevitable result of me living alone, when viewed historically - is the cost of my amazing (to me, at least) life. It is where the "I don't have to do what I don't want to do" rubber hits the road. It is the dry rot in the foundation.
I know that the time will come when I will spend quite a lot of time cleaning my apartment. It is a gargantuan task, because it isn't just that there's clutter, or even just dirt. Cleaning the apartment means getting rid of a lot of stuff, and that looks not only like something I don't want to do, but an undertaking fraught with emotional pain, and in terms of labor, something physically difficult. Something I'm avoiding, which, in and of itself, probably makes it an undertaking worth doing.
In the here-and-now, I just go along doing the minimum, making frequent unsuccessful attempts to not increase the mess. It works for me, even with the knowledge that every day I come closer to feeling like I have to do that work, that I will have to do something I don't, right now, want to do. Maybe, when I feel I have no choice, I'll find a way to want to do it when the day comes.
Meanwhile, my wonderful life rolls on, with one good time after another. My feeling of gratitude is hard to quantify.
Food and Diet
Today's Weight: 203.1 lbs.
Previous Weight (11/1/17): 204.0 lbs.
Net Loss/Gain: - 0.9 lbs.
Diet Comment
That's more like it - a real advance towards my current weight loss goal (under 200 lbs. at the end of the month).
Food Log
Breakfast
5:55pm: Dubliner cheese omelet with buttered Ezekiel 4:9 Flax sprouted grain toast.
Lunch
Skipped.
Dinner
12:45am: Walnuts and Dubliner cheese with prosciutto; two squares (ounces) of sugar-free dark chocolate and a Quest bar.
Liquid Intake
5:55pm: Dubliner cheese omelet with buttered Ezekiel 4:9 Flax sprouted grain toast.
Lunch
Skipped.
Dinner
12:45am: Walnuts and Dubliner cheese with prosciutto; two squares (ounces) of sugar-free dark chocolate and a Quest bar.
Liquid Intake
Espressos: 1; Coffee: 0 oz.; Tea: 0 oz.; Water: 60+ oz.;
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