Post 2370
- 8 years and 295 days since I started this blog -
Daily Comment
The way people show love, and the way they feel love, varies. I think that is obvious. A quarter of a century ago, a marriage counsellor grouped these into five different ways and wrote a bestselling book about it - The Five Languages of Love.
The basic idea behind it is to understand what makes your partner feel loved - one of the five ways will dominate. Knowing this, you can show your love in the way that means the most to them. (And knowing what makes you feel loved and communicating this to your partner can help them reciprocate in the 'language' you understand).
I have, generally, been horrible about this. For one thing, while I have a primary mode for displaying love (Acts of Service), the language that makes me feel love is actually more diffuse, without a dominant or constant (or consistent) way.
Physical touch, acts of service and quality time seem to be the ways, but different ones dominate depending on how I feel. Words of affirmation and receiving gifts, though (completing the set of five) are never the best ways.
I don't put much stock in words, and that's a trust issue. Having heard words of love that were, if not insincere, only momentarily heart-felt, I'm an 'actions speak louder than words person. I don't get much from receiving gifts, either. (I'm a terrible gift-giver, as well).
I have only been in five long-term relationships in my life (relationships that lasted more than a year). Two of these involved marriage.
All these relationships ended by one or the other of us walking away. There was little or no mutuality to their demise. Two of the five transformed into friendships. The other three had no second act. The critical breaking point for all was one or the other of us not feeling loved.
Looked at with the benefit of hindsight, there was never a difficulty in feeling love in the beginning, but as time went on, even when affection continued, the feeling of being loved was not there, for both of us. But sometimes I was eight ignorant
I take full responsibility - I was not good at making my needs known, and I felt inadequate about displaying my love in other than the way I wanted to receive it, and, for that matter, inadequate in coming up with any loving deliverable....
I was wrong a lot.
I'm grateful for the love I was able to give and receive, and always looking for better ways.
Food and Diet
The basic idea behind it is to understand what makes your partner feel loved - one of the five ways will dominate. Knowing this, you can show your love in the way that means the most to them. (And knowing what makes you feel loved and communicating this to your partner can help them reciprocate in the 'language' you understand).
I have, generally, been horrible about this. For one thing, while I have a primary mode for displaying love (Acts of Service), the language that makes me feel love is actually more diffuse, without a dominant or constant (or consistent) way.
Physical touch, acts of service and quality time seem to be the ways, but different ones dominate depending on how I feel. Words of affirmation and receiving gifts, though (completing the set of five) are never the best ways.
I don't put much stock in words, and that's a trust issue. Having heard words of love that were, if not insincere, only momentarily heart-felt, I'm an 'actions speak louder than words person. I don't get much from receiving gifts, either. (I'm a terrible gift-giver, as well).
I have only been in five long-term relationships in my life (relationships that lasted more than a year). Two of these involved marriage.
All these relationships ended by one or the other of us walking away. There was little or no mutuality to their demise. Two of the five transformed into friendships. The other three had no second act. The critical breaking point for all was one or the other of us not feeling loved.
Looked at with the benefit of hindsight, there was never a difficulty in feeling love in the beginning, but as time went on, even when affection continued, the feeling of being loved was not there, for both of us. But sometimes I was eight ignorant
I take full responsibility - I was not good at making my needs known, and I felt inadequate about displaying my love in other than the way I wanted to receive it, and, for that matter, inadequate in coming up with any loving deliverable....
I was wrong a lot.
I'm grateful for the love I was able to give and receive, and always looking for better ways.
Today's Weight: 196.4 lbs.
Previous Weight (10/21/19): 196.4 lbs.
Net Loss/Gain: + 0.0 lbs.
Diet Comment
Food Log
Breakfast
5:30pm, at CoreLife Eatery:
5:30pm, at CoreLife Eatery:
 |
| Korean BBQ Pork: Quinoa, kimchi, cucumbers, spicy broccoli, Sriracha sprouts, fried egg, slow-roasted pork, ginger, and korean bbq sauce. Not shown: A Quest bar. |
11:35pm: Salmon salad (wild-caught salmon, arugula, red cabbage, chard, kale, spinach, walnuts, balsamic vinaigrette).
Dinner
1:55am: A Quest bar.
Liquid Intake
Espressos: 2; Coffee: 0 oz.; Water: 72+ oz.;
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