#2368: Friday, October 18: Kindness and dependency

Post 2368

- 8 years and 291 days since I started this blog -

  

Daily Comment

I try to be helpful when I can.

I'm all about showing kindness when the opportunity arises.

I think the opportunity to be of service is my favorite way to show love.

I believe someone who needs help and asks me for it is doing me a favor. I wish more people would.

That being said, constantly depending on me for help isn't the same. That sort of dependency creates a different dynamic. My time and resources are finite, and I need to ensure they cover all my needs before I can sacrifice some to be of service, and indefinite needs create a budget item I either can or cannot make, and I will weigh the status of our relationship.

There's an old joke that goes like this: Every day, on his way to work, Joe the Barber gives a beggar on the corner a quarter. One day, he passes the beggar without dropping a coin in his cup. The beggar says to him, "What have I done, that today you don't give me a little something?" Joe stops and says, "A new barber shop has opened near me, and my business has been doing badly." The beggar looks at him and says, angrily, "So, because you're having a bad time I should suffer?"

This came up because there is a person, an acquaintance, who has consistently, for two years, appealed to me for financial help. I've given it when I could. But it has become the entire basis of our relationship. She is not local, and I only hear from her when she needs money. I am in no position to assess her needs or help her find a more permanent solution to her problems.

I have responded to her constant requests positively, but today, I cut her off. I cannot be her resource of last resort, when she gets to that point so regularly. There are many other things requiring money, and, although her requests are small, they are so frequent that they have, over the years, added up to quite a bit.

I don't resent the money I've given her, but I'm disappointed that in two years she hasn't found a better way of dealing with her problems than to come to me.

I'm grateful for the opportunity to have been able to help her, and grateful to her for providing the opportunity for me to feel good about being able to help. But not guilty about having to say no. Now, she must find a better solution.

Food and Diet 

Today's Weight:                    196.2 lbs.

Previous Weight (10/17/19):        196.4 lbs.

Net Loss/Gain:                     - 0.2 lbs.

Diet Comment

Basically, a loss of a fifth of a pound is no loss at all. In this case, it is still a gain over the week's starting weight. However, that was characterized by three days of pound+ gains, followed by two days of losses amounting to less than a pound, total. The important thing was, I broke a bad trend. For that, I end the week satisfied.

Food Log

Breakfast
6:10pm: 

Salmon and greens curried stew (wild-caught salmon, kale, spinach, red lentils, chia seeds and tomato curry sauce) over riced cauliflower. Not shown: A Quest bar.

Lunch
10:15pm: Walnuts and cottage cheese and a Quest bar.

Dinner
1:15am: Cole slaw and roasted turkey breast and manchego cheese. And a Quest bar.

Liquid Intake

   Espressos: 2;   Coffee: 23 oz.;  Water: 78+ oz.;

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