#1329: Monday, December 15 - Have no expectations

Post 1329, Day 349 of 2014
- 1,445 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

The great thing about having no expectations is that it avoids disappointments. The not-so-great thing about it is how difficult it is to to undo the programming that tells you to look into the future.

We're all trained from birth that there are things expected of us. Before we're old enough to understand it, we've internalized the idea that, in the future, certain things will happen, people will behave in certain ways, our environment will be consistent.

Thus, a certain arrogance is cultivated by our culture: We confuse our expectations with control. Nobody controls the future.

Even after a lifetime of disappointment when something doesn't meet our expectations, we blame everything but our expectation for that disappointment, frustration, fear.

Why am I thinking about this today? I just had a run-in with Verizon, who've perpetrated a billing error for over two months. I was told many things by customer service, things that would happen. I was given instructions on what to do. If I hadn't managed my expectations, I'd be very angry right now, when more than two months after the initial problem-causing mistake, everything seems to be fixed, but I have been erroneously marked as having a late payment.

About which, apparently, nothing can be done.

If I hadn't managed my expectations (in fact, not assuming that everything would be brought back to 'correct' through my and Verizon Customer Service's efforts) I think I might not have dealt with this situation calmly.

I literally had no expectations of this situation (a ridiculous $400+ overbilling that had no basis at all). I know people who work for Verizon, and have an image of it as a terrible company.

My only thought was to bring it to their attention, and see what happened, and not pay the overcharge.

I got a lot of lip service. Today, finally, the biggest part, though not quite everything from the erroneous charges, was refunded. Another call today, got the rest of the charge refunded. But I spoke to eleven people and can't get the entry of late payment from last month erased. They can only add a note.

On the more pleasant side, when I go out to play, especially at any kind of jam session, I have hopes, but no expectations. I may not get to play; I may play a little; if I play, I may play with good musicians, bad musicians, good musicians who can't jam, or be left with nothing but my bass and repertoire of songs I can sing and play.

Thankfully, the poor jam is rare. And even the least-good one teaches me something. But if my expectation was for a certain amount of playing time with a certain quality of player, not only would I be disappointed so often as to be discouraged from participating, but my own ability to have good players want to play with me would certainly be compromised.

With no expectations, however, when good things do happen, I can be pleasantly surprised, and everything exceeds my (nonexistent) expectations.

I'm hardly perfect at not forming expectations. I mean, conditioning from birth is hard to overcome. But whenever I'm disappointed or frustrated, I remember why: Because I had expectations, and they were incorrect.

2014 Daily Weight

Today's Weight:             208.2 lbs

Previous Weight (12/12/14): 203.4 lbs

Day Net Loss/Gain:          + 4.8 lbs

Diet Comment

I was kind and unkind to myself as far as eating goes. I'm pretty sure I began gaining weight Friday, having eaten a lot of food, and, in particular, a lot of food I wouldn't have chosen. I was pretty good until Sunday, when I feasted on hummus, eating a whole container at a sitting.

Food Log

Breakfast
A cocoa-hemp-kale protein shake (almond-coconut milk, kefir, kale, large organic egg, whey powder (36g protein), hemp seeds, hemp protein (7g protein), celery, raw organic cacao powder, fermented coconut water, chia gel, moringa leaf powder, cinnamon and stevia-inulin blend.

Lunch

Roasted turkey breast chopped salad: baby kale, baby spinach, chard, cole slaw mix, black beans and balsamic vinaigrette. And a Quest bar.

Snack
A Quest bar.

Dinner
At Ironwood: 

A quarter of a personal pie, with fire-roasted chicken, bacon, prosciutto, basil, caramelized onions, mushrooms, cheese and sauce. After eating the whole pie with a generously full glass pf pinot noir, I decided to have some hand-made chocolate-chili gelato. Just irresistable.

Snack
Oh, my! On my way home from the gig, I had to stop in and do some shopping for a couple of items. Ended up with a bag of oatmeal-dark chocolate chip cookies. I'll pay for that.

Intake   
Coffee:  28 oz.   Water: 80+ oz. A big glass of Pinot Noir.

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