Post 2282
- 8 years and 170 days since I started this blog -
Daily Comment
My second-favorite Rolling Stones album is Beggars Banquet. It introduced me to a country-style blues I had previously been unaware of, thinking it more country, which, in turn, made it not-too-interesting to me. It contains the last song recorded by Brian Jones before he was fired from the band.
That song, No Expectations, is one I've been playing at open mics for the last few years (since I started using open mics as the way to doing vocals).
The expectations referred to in the title are that the singer is for getting away from a lover leaving him after their affair turns sour, and reverses his fortunes.
Here's a man just out of his teens and he has some sophisticated ideas about reality, perception. It was fun to pair them with ideas I'd been introduced to and had accepted, in my forty-plus years more experience.
That, in turn, prevents me from getting into that joyful, timeless, meditative zone that has fueled my happiness for the last ten years.
I relate to it from the collapse of my second marriage.
But expectations are really at the root of a lot of unhappiness. That is a basic tenet of my understanding of Buddhism, which notes that expectations directly lead to disappointment and unhappiness.
This has definitely been the case with me, throughout my life, but I've really been feeling the weight of them recently.
While there's no question that my own expectations have set me up for some bad times, I've also known the unhappiness that comes from trying to live up to the (perceived) expectations other people have on me. When I think about the past, I realize how sensitive I was to my parents' expectations for me (I know, I know, there's nothing unique about that), and how the damage done trying to meet or avoid those expectations has flavored my life.
All my relationships have suffered mightily at the hands of expectations. Which is why I've now adopted a position, of having none. That's an ideal, and I fail to live up to it, but I do two things about that: First, I forgive myself for causing me that pain, and second, I recognize, and analyze the expectations I am aware of.
It helps me to let go of the bad feelings, and I've found that to be really helpful. For that, I'm grateful.
Food and Diet
That song, No Expectations, is one I've been playing at open mics for the last few years (since I started using open mics as the way to doing vocals).
The expectations referred to in the title are that the singer is for getting away from a lover leaving him after their affair turns sour, and reverses his fortunes.
Here's a man just out of his teens and he has some sophisticated ideas about reality, perception. It was fun to pair them with ideas I'd been introduced to and had accepted, in my forty-plus years more experience.
That, in turn, prevents me from getting into that joyful, timeless, meditative zone that has fueled my happiness for the last ten years.
I relate to it from the collapse of my second marriage.
But expectations are really at the root of a lot of unhappiness. That is a basic tenet of my understanding of Buddhism, which notes that expectations directly lead to disappointment and unhappiness.
This has definitely been the case with me, throughout my life, but I've really been feeling the weight of them recently.
While there's no question that my own expectations have set me up for some bad times, I've also known the unhappiness that comes from trying to live up to the (perceived) expectations other people have on me. When I think about the past, I realize how sensitive I was to my parents' expectations for me (I know, I know, there's nothing unique about that), and how the damage done trying to meet or avoid those expectations has flavored my life.
All my relationships have suffered mightily at the hands of expectations. Which is why I've now adopted a position, of having none. That's an ideal, and I fail to live up to it, but I do two things about that: First, I forgive myself for causing me that pain, and second, I recognize, and analyze the expectations I am aware of.
It helps me to let go of the bad feelings, and I've found that to be really helpful. For that, I'm grateful.
Today's Weight: 199.7 lbs.
Previous Weight (6/18/19): 199.0 lbs.
Net Loss/Gain: + 0.7 lbs.
Diet Comment
Food Log
Breakfast
6:45pm, at CoreLife Eatery:
Lunch
Skipped.
Dinner
2:05am: Cottage cheese and walnuts and a Quest bar.
Liquid Intake
6:45pm, at CoreLife Eatery:
 |
| Korean BBQ Pork: Kale, Spring Mix greens, kimchi, cucumbers, spicy broccoli, Sriracha sprouts, fried egg, slow-roasted pork, and korean bbq sauce. Not shown, a scoop each of Gannon's chocolate PB and espresso chip ice cream. |
Skipped.
Dinner
2:05am: Cottage cheese and walnuts and a Quest bar.
Liquid Intake
Espressos: 1; Coffee: 0 oz.; Water: 68+ oz.; and two generous pours of Jameson's Irish whiskey.
Please leave a comment when you visit my blog.
Thank you!
Thank you!
For some reason, I could not find your blog for some time. But now I have and have bookmarked it so no problem. you are so skinny!!
ReplyDeleteI loved seeing you and hope to see you soon. Joan
I'm just a few days away from the eighth anniversary of reaching my goal weight, and I am a little under it! Love seeing you, and hope I get to see you soon, but July is going to be a difficult month for me to travel in - I have one or more gigs every weekend in July.
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