Post 2278
- 8 years and 164 days since I started this blog -
Daily Comment
With my playing pretty much limited to open mics (I've only played three gigs this year), I'm missing out on a couple of things: The amount of ensemble playing time and time in front of an audience.
Both are weighing on me.
With the lack of playing time, I see my skills deteriorating - okay, only slightly and it may be only my perception, but perception is everything, right?
That, in turn, changes the way I feel in front of the audience, which is now made up of other musicians and their supporters. I'm more self-conscious.
That, in turn, prevents me from getting into that joyful, timeless, meditative zone that has fueled my happiness for the last ten years.
I feel dragged down, and it is affecting everything.
I am still happy, but it doesn't feel as absolute, as solid, as consistent. This is a poor line of thinking, comparing my current situation with my past; and yet, I find myself there a lot, recently.
I have a lot to be grateful for, and I am, and the practice of remembering that keeps me afloat, but recently, I feel somewhat diminished by circumstances.
I'm grateful that I feel hopeful that this slightly uncomfortable stage will lead to the next amazingly happy, unforeseen chapter in my life. As it always has.
Food and Diet
Both are weighing on me.
With the lack of playing time, I see my skills deteriorating - okay, only slightly and it may be only my perception, but perception is everything, right?
That, in turn, changes the way I feel in front of the audience, which is now made up of other musicians and their supporters. I'm more self-conscious.
That, in turn, prevents me from getting into that joyful, timeless, meditative zone that has fueled my happiness for the last ten years.
I feel dragged down, and it is affecting everything.
I am still happy, but it doesn't feel as absolute, as solid, as consistent. This is a poor line of thinking, comparing my current situation with my past; and yet, I find myself there a lot, recently.
I have a lot to be grateful for, and I am, and the practice of remembering that keeps me afloat, but recently, I feel somewhat diminished by circumstances.
I'm grateful that I feel hopeful that this slightly uncomfortable stage will lead to the next amazingly happy, unforeseen chapter in my life. As it always has.
Today's Weight: 198.4 lbs.
Previous Weight (6/12/19): 198.7 lbs.
Net Loss/Gain: - 0.3 lbs.
Diet Comment
Food Log
Breakfast
4:25pm:
Lunch
6:45pm: Manchego cheese with carrots and homemade mayonnaise.
Dinner
11:45pm: Brussel sprouts with eggs and shaved parmesan cheese.
Liquid Intake
4:25pm:
 |
| Vegetarian Sloppy Joe (Quorn, grandpa's sauce, organic greens) on top of cauliflower 'rice'. Not shown: A Quest bar. |
6:45pm: Manchego cheese with carrots and homemade mayonnaise.
Dinner
11:45pm: Brussel sprouts with eggs and shaved parmesan cheese.
Liquid Intake
Espressos: 1; Coffee: 0 oz.; Water: 80+ oz.; a bottle of Stella Artois beer.
Please leave a comment when you visit my blog.
Thank you!
Thank you!
No comments:
Post a Comment