Friday, July 29, 2016

#1699, Friday, July 29: The myth of Ken


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Post 1699, Day 211 of 2016
- 2,037 days since I started this blog -
Daily Comment


Sometimes, I go out, but don't have the energy to socialize. That was the case tonight, when I went to a meetup at a local winery. I met and exchanged introductions to five strangers. I left after a half hour.

The energy is there when I go out and play music, though.

Being someplace where my primary reason is to make music allows me to be with people, open up. It allows me to have another reason than the social need for being among people. It allows me to hide my insecurity, my weakness, my fear, my secrets behind a performer's role. It allows me to let people get close, without letting them all the way in.

And people enable me. They're attracted, and they fill in the blanks with no energy. They make assumptions based on their own internal beliefs. They mythologize.

I answer all questions truthfully, if not fully. I appear open.

I am rarely unguarded. My most spontaneous moments are alone.

Food and Diet
Today's Weight:                      202.0 lbs.
Previous Weight (7/28):              201.6 lbs.
Net Loss/Gain:                     +   0.4 lbs.

Diet Comment
Now sitting right on the trend line heading into the weekend. I think almonds, in the quantity I eat them, may be the problem. Uh-oh.

Food Log 
Breakfast
4:30pm:  Green protein shake with almond-coconut milk, kefir, extra-large organic egg, chia gel, kale, whey powder (36g protein), almond butter, hemp seeds, hemp protein (7g protein), raw organic cacao powder, celery, moringa leaf powder, cinnamon, and stevia-inulin blend.

Lunch
Skipped.

Dinner
2:15am:  Pepperoni, cole slaw, and a Quest bar.

Liquid Intake
   Espressos: 1;  Coffee:  28 oz.;  Water: 64+ oz.

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