August 9

Post 913, Day 220 of 2013
- and 951 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

After a thoroughly lazy day, taking off work, and then playing a happy-hour/dinner gig with my duo, I was starving, and binged on a late dinner and snacks.

Knowing I'd pay for it, I was pretty out of control - put any discipline (or reason) on the back burner.

I have a hunch why I'm 'acting out' like a pre-schooler, but I'm waiting to process it.

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 Food and Diet Section

2013 Daily Weight

Today's Weight:         210.0 lbs

Yesterday's Weight:     211.2 lbs

Day Net Loss/Gain:      - 1.2 lbs

Diet Comment

I think today's loss is due primarily to a very late weighing, nothing else.

Food Log 

Breakfast
Skipped.

Lunch
Skipped.

Snack
Cocoa-kale-hemp-chia protein shake: Almond-coconut milk, kale, a large egg, cocoa, hemp seeds, chia gel, whey powder (24g protein), cinnamon, vanilla, psyllium and stevia-inulin blend.

Dinner

At the Sahota Palace, Indian Buffet and Bollywood (silent with English captions): Plenty of lentil, chick pea, spinach, veggies, and a little chicken, with minimal bread and rice, but a serving of rice pudding, as well. 

Snack
A protein bar and Ezekiel 4:9 Golden Flax sprouted grain cereal with coconut sugar and almond-coconut milk.

Liquid Intake   

   Coffee:  6 oz.   Water: 64+ oz. 

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August 8

Post 912, Day 219 of 2013
- and 950 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

Like many - if not most - people, I waste a lot of energy worrying about the future,  even though I know better. 

Case in point: I got a call about a gig I set up. Two bands, i am Fool and another, with the other band supplying the sound.

All well and good.

Then I get a call from Dave, a friend, and the 'middle-man' who got us the gig. He told me a member of the other band was going to call me, they had concerns because they use in-ear monitors, not floor speakers, for stage sound. 

Uh-oh. 

In-ear monitors are flat-out better, but they're expensive, and sharing them relies on having enough receivers, and having a compatible jack for the earphones (which, generally speaking, are personal, not shared items). My band has nothing like this, and, except for me, I think, no experience using them.

I got this message on my way to lunch, mentioned it to my friend Al, friend and promoter of the band - in fact, the very person who introduced me to Dave. 

Al and I spent the rest of lunch discussing possible problems and solutions. I decided not to mention it to anyone until I knew more. 

But then I did, when the question of graphics for advertising the gig came up, because there was at least one scenario where it just wasn't going to work out, and I told the GA (Tami, all-around talent and 5th member of the band).

This inspired a lot of back and forth, a la lunch with Al, about possible solutions to the problem, and what should be done, etc.

All the while, I kept on saying, let's not get ahead of ourselves, I haven't spoken to anyone yet, I don't know how big of a problem it is, or even if it's a problem at all.

But I didn't get a call. 

Not knowing makes for anxiety. Finally, I asked Dave for a number I could call, and made that call.

The ensuing conversation was pleasant, the difficulties were discussed; the other band member was cooperative, friendly, generous.

There will be no problems. 

I guess it's good that you can't 'waste' energy. But the energy spent worrying about potential problems for the gig - worrying about the unknown future - certainly could have been better used in something (anything) else.

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 Food and Diet Section

2013 Daily Weight

Today's Weight:         211.2 lbs

Yesterday's Weight:     211.6 lbs

Day Net Loss/Gain:      - 0.4 lbs

Diet Comment

I'll take a little loss today. Any day.

Food Log 

Breakfast
Skipped. 

Lunch
Cocoa-kale-hemp-chia protein shake: Almond-coconut milk, kale, a large egg, cocoa, hemp seeds, chia gel, whey powder (24g protein), cinnamon, vanilla, psyllium and stevia-inulin blend.

Dinner

Roast beef sandwich on coconut Paleo bread, with a salad of Spring Mix greens, red cabbage, kale, and creamy balsamic dressing. 

Snack
A protein bar and Ezekiel 4:9 Golden Flax sprouted grain cereal with coconut sugar and almond-coconut milk.

Liquid Intake   

   Coffee:  28 oz.   Water: 118+ oz. 

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August 7

Post 912, Day 219 of 2013
- and 950 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

One thing I don't like is when my words go out, through someone's perceptual filter set, and come back to me transformed into something negative.

File under: Things I can't do anything about.

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 Food and Diet Section

2013 Daily Weight

Today's Weight:         211.6 lbs

Yesterday's Weight:     208.6 lbs

Day Net Loss/Gain:      + 3.0 lbs

Diet Comment

Yesterday's weight was an aberration, probably wrong. I was not expecting today's weight to return me to the weight from two days ago, though.

Food Log 

Breakfast
Skipped. 

Lunch
At Ling-Ling's Chinese Buffet and Grill:

Brussels sprouts, kimchee, and, from the "Mongolian Grill", my go-to dish, pork and chicken with cabbage, onions, mushrooms, green peppers and broccoli.

Dinner

Roast beef sandwich on coconut Paleo bread, with a salad of Spring Mix greens, kidney beans, red cabbage, kale, and creamy balsamic dressing. A protein bar for dessert.

Snack
Hard-cooked eggs and red cabbage slaw. (Pause) Ezekiel Golden Flax cereal with almond-coconut milk and coconut sugar.

Liquid Intake   

   Coffee:  28 oz.   Water: 136+ oz. 

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August 6

Post 911, Day 218 of 2013
- and 949 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

Aargh - another cancelled practice tonight. 

And another one next week.

By the time i am Fool gets together again to play, it will be three days before a gig, and three weeks since we last played together. 

It isn't under my control, and I've been granted the wisdom to know I can't change it. 

But I don't have to like it.

Somehow, despite this, the Earth continues spinning on its axis.

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 Food and Diet Section

2013 Daily Weight

Today's Weight:         208.6 lbs

Yesterday's Weight:     211.6 lbs

Day Net Loss/Gain:      - 3.0 lbs

Diet Comment

I can't account for the weight loss today.

Food Log 

Breakfast
Cocoa-kale-hemp-chia protein shake: Almond milk, kale, a large egg, cocoa, hemp seeds, chia gel, whey powder (24g protein), cinnamon, vanilla, psyllium and stevia-inulin blend. 

Lunch

Roasted turkey breast with red beans on Spring Mix and red cabbage with balsamic vinaigrette. 

Dinner

At a VFW Post: Pepperoni, sausage, cole slaw, cheese, birthday cake, Jameson's.

Snack
Pepperoni, red cabbage slaw, and a protein bar.

Liquid Intake   

   Coffee:  18 oz.   Water: 106+ oz. and a shot of Jameson's.

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August 5

Post 910, Day 217 of 2013
- and 948 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

Moving along here...

Stopped being disappointed in my band's decision to play without me, and was disappointed, instead, by being rebuffed when I reached out to an old friend.

The disappointment quickly turned to bemusement (is that a word?), when he wrote back with the reason I was and would forever remain an ex-friend:

My offense was telling him, two years ago, that he treated his friends like shit. 

That's almost what I said. What I actually said, at the time, was, "You are treating your friends like shit."

It was my considered opinion at the time, I said it to let him know how I was perceiving his behavior. 

He disagreed, and decided to cut me out of his life for my opinion.

So it goes.

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 Food and Diet Section

2013 Daily Weight

Today's Weight:         211.2 lbs

Yesterday's Weight:     210.2 lbs

Day Net Loss/Gain:      + 1.0 lbs

Diet Comment

Aargh! - a weekend high in protein, low in greens and containing cheese, and this is what I get.

Food Log 

Breakfast
Cocoa-kale-hemp-chia protein shake: Almond milk, kale, a large egg, cocoa, hemp seeds, chia gel, whey powder (24g protein), cinnamon, vanilla, psyllium and stevia-inulin blend. 

Lunch

Wild-caught salmon and kidney bean salad on Spring Mix greens with red cabbage.

Dinner

Dal Tadka (Lentil curry) with broccoli, and, for dessert, a protein bar.

Snack
A protein bar.

Liquid Intake   

   Coffee:  24 oz.   Water: 48+ oz. 

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August 4

Post 909, Day 216 of 2013
- and 947 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

Just about the only thing of the day worth noting was a lot of playing in the evening, where I sat in the bass chair for over two hours at one open mic, then played a couple of sets at the next.  

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 Food and Diet Section

2013 Daily Weight

Today's Weight:         210.2 lbs

Yesterday's Weight:     209.8 lbs

Day Net Loss/Gain:      + 0.4 lbs

Diet Comment

Nothing to say.

Food Log 

Breakfast
Skipped.

Lunch
Cocoa-kale-hemp-chia protein shake: Almond milk, kale, a large egg, cocoa, hemp seeds, chia gel, whey powder (30g protein), cinnamon, vanilla, psyllium and stevia-inulin blend. Then, a protein bar.

Dinner

Cheese and grilled sausages.

Snack
A protein bar was eaten every three hours from 6pm to 1am (three protein bars, total).

Liquid Intake   

   Coffee:  32 oz.   Water: 92+ oz. 

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August 3

Post 908, Day 215 of 2013
- and 946 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

Nothing today. I slept the day away.  

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 Food and Diet Section

2013 Daily Weight

Today's Weight:         209.8 lbs

Yesterday's Weight:     210.4 lbs

Day Net Loss/Gain:      - 0.6 lbs

Diet Comment

Bit of a  loss. Second treat-free day.

Food Log 

Breakfast
Skipped.

Lunch
Skipped.

Dinner

Ground natural turkey burger on coconut Paleo bread with guacamole, a side of cole slaw and lentils with salsa.

Snack
Two protein bars.

Liquid Intake   

   Coffee:  25 oz.   Water: 92+ oz. 

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August 2

Post 907, Day 214 of 2013
- and 945 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

I am struggling with my emotions.

After Wednesday's torturous gig, the band didn't have any appearances set until after Labor Day.

Today they decided to play a gig without me. 

The gig is an unpaid opener originally turned down by the band because I couldn't be there. On that day, I have a daytime event, a reunion of old friends from my days at CCNY in New York City, and there is no way I can make the four-and-a-half hour drive back in time to make the gig, even if I didn't have other things planned for the evening and next day.

When the idea was floated to do the gig without me (unplugged), I had a choice: Make the gig or go along with my original plan. Or tell them my feelings would be hurt if they did the gig without me, and they wouldn't play the gig.

I told them go ahead without me.


I'm torn between two things I want to do, both desirable, neither necessary.

I feel somewhat abandoned, somewhat betrayed by the band. We have always turned down do-able gigs when any other member has been unable to attend, (this is the first gig I've been unable to make).  On the other hand, it is something they will enjoy doing, and I wouldn't stand in the way of that. I would have enjoyed doing it as well.

On the other hand, I'm not happy thinking I'm a dispensable member of the band.

And now I feel shitty about the whole thing. I'm stuck everywhere but in the present, and I'm having difficulty finding my way home. This kind of emotional response can't be spun as positive, but there's a lesson in it.

Now I'm just going to have to do the work to figure out what that lesson is.  

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 Food and Diet Section

2013 Daily Weight

Today's Weight:         210.4 lbs

Yesterday's Weight:     210.4 lbs

Day Net Loss/Gain:      - 0.0 lbs

Diet Comment

No loss. No soft-serve, either.

Food Log 

Breakfast
Cocoa-kale-hemp-chia protein shake: Almond milk, kale, a large egg, cocoa, hemp seeds, chia gel, whey powder (32g protein), cinnamon, vanilla, psyllium and stevia-inulin blend.

Lunch
Wild-caught salmon, egg and red kidney bean salad on Spring Mix with kale and balsamic vinaigrette.

Snack
A protein bar.

Dinner
Roasted turkey breast sandwich with guacamole on coconut Paleo bread, with red cabbage slaw.

Snack
A protein bar.

Liquid Intake   

   Coffee:  24 oz.   Water: 102+ oz. 

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August 1

Post 906, Day 213 of 2013
- and 944 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

Thoughts have a way of shaping your perceptions. It occurs because your perceptions are themselves the result of thought processes, just vibrations 'interpreted' as the senses.

I had a bad night last night. The band played an outdoor venue, a park in the middle of the village I live in. 

It was a beautiful night, too. And the attendance was great.

But the sound wasn't. I have had issues with this particular sound guy before, and tried to head them off, but to no avail. Once the music started, even things I thought were fixed and okay were bad, and, on stage, the music sounded very bad.

On stage, I couldn't hear what I was playing. Neither could the drummer. It was a big, open stage, made of brick and concrete, and the music I was making was sounding thin and off to me.

I think the performance was probably good anyway, I know these songs cold, but my perception was that it sounded lousy, and I couldn't control the dynamics of my playing well, because I couldn't hear a difference in volume in my playing.

I allowed myself to get frustrated. Immediately after the show, I was emotional and negative. My most reliably joyful activity, playing with my band, had turned into a struggle, and wasn't even fun, let alone joyful.

It took a couple of Jameson's to help me let it go.

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 Food and Diet Section

2013 Daily Weight

Today's Weight:         210.4 lbs

Yesterday's Weight:     211.0 lbs

Day Net Loss/Gain:      - 0.6 lbs

Diet Comment

So, how's that soft-serve at work everyday doing for you? Ha! About as well as my new 2-Protein Bar-a-day habit. I'll stop the latter before the former, though.

Food Log 

Breakfast
Blueberry-kale smoothie: Blueberries, kale, vanilla whey protein powder (32g protein), chia gel, a whole egg, coconut-almond milk, cinnamon, stevia-inulin blend.

Lunch
Egg salad on Spring Mix with red cabbage.

Dinner
Buttered lentils and red cabbage slaw. A protein bar.

Liquid Intake   

   Coffee:  28 oz.   Water: 72+ oz. 

Please leave a comment if you visit my blog. Thank you!