#1429, Monday, May 18: Being here now saves the day

Post 1429, Day 138 of 2015
- 1,599 days since I started this blog -

May 17, 2015 at Bridge St. Tavern

Daily Comment

When I was very young - single digits young - my mother used to scream at me. She would, literally, get in my face, like a drill instructor. It was, of course, quite terrifying.

I adapted. Disassociated. Went blank. Limp. Passive.

Of course, that just made her angrier, but for me, it was a good coping device.

Later on, I found it useful. I dissociate myself from the drama of being afraid, when a sudden, fear-provoking situation arises. I don't do as well with more protracted situations, but that's another story.

Being calm in emergencies is a benefit to getting them resolved. Once, while driving on an elevated section of the BQE, the back seat of my VW caught fire (a loose battery cable shooting sparks was the cause), and the car filled with acrid smoke. The woman I was with started screaming for me to pull over, when there was no place to pull over. I calmly told her to roll down the window and stick out her head to avoid the smoke. Then, as soon as I found a place for it, I pulled over, lifted the smoldering back seat up, saw the problem, and put out the fire (by pissing on it, if you have to know). The woman said it was one of the coolest things she'd ever seen.

After i am Fool's show on Saturday, while we were packing up, J. ended up lying on his back on the floor. Nobody saw him go down. He didn't lose consciousness, although I would describe him as 'out of it'. Looking at his color, taking his pulse in a few places, and the fact that he could speak, wasn't nauseous, wasn't experiencing pain so much as weakness, and with some knowledge of his history (from previous conversations, a while back) I figured this was an 'episode' like others he had had over the years. He was dehydrated, and it took him quite a while, and a few tries, before I could get him into my car, to drive him home or to a hospital (which he insisted was unnecessary).

I was 'dead' calm. In the next half hour, I avoided the drama of the situation, and dealt with what was going down, maintaining a constand dialog with J. to hear anything he had to say about what he was feeling, and the situation at hand, real-time. I used what was going on, what was happening, to determine my very next action.

And didn't look too far ahead. I was afraid, sure. I was concerned for my friend. In the end, I drove him home while someone followed behind in his car. During the ride, I kept him focused on drinking water and staying alert, and by the time we got him home, constantly reevaluating whether my destination was home or a hospital, he was pretty obviously recovering.

We ended up after a number of decision points, heading home, as, minute by minute, he recovered. Soon, he was recovered enough to call his wife and have a conversation, reassuring her (she'd been called from the gig about what was going on) that the episode was past, and that he had an upcoming doctor's appointment, where it would be further dealt with.

Once again, staying focused in the present saves the day.

Food and Diet Section

Today's Weight:                   206.8 lbs

Previous Weight (5/15):           207.8 lbs

Day Net Loss/Gain:                - 1.0 lbs

Diet Comment

For the record, I don't know why I didn't gain weight, weekends are usually a time to gain weight. Not complaining, but it doesn't figure. This weekend wasn't particularly low in anything, including off-plan stuff.
 

Food Log

Breakfast
A Quest bar.

Lunch
A cocoa-hemp-kale protein shake (almond-coconut milk, kefir, kale, large organic egg, whey powder (36g protein), hemp seeds, hemp protein (7g protein), celery, raw organic cacao powder, fermented coconut water, chia gel, moringa leaf powder, cinnamon and stevia-inulin blend.

Snack
From CORE, a cup of Hearty (beef and pork) Bone Broth.

Dinner

Cheeseburger with guacamole. Sides of cole slaw and quinoa. And a Quest bar.

Snack
Pepperoni and celery with homemade mayonnaise.

Liquid Intake
   Coffee:  24 oz.   Water: 96+ oz. 

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