Tuesday, October 21 No expectations

Post 1295, Day 294 of 2014
- 1,390 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

I'm still back from my wonderful LA vacation.

I got into an interesting discussion with my old friend Marty (older than me, and someone I've known for more than 50 years), that centered around my philosophy.

I know what you're thinking, but actually Marty asked specific and pointed questions. True, just a sidewise hint could get me going, but in this case, he was actually interested.

Marty was very curious about how Buddhism affected my life and thinking. Now, as Buddhists go, I don't have much to offer. Once you go deeper than the Noble Truths and Eightfold Path, I'm pretty much out of my depth. I'm also completely unaffiliated, and not studying the writings of Buddhist scholars or priests.

To me, Buddhism comes down to accepting that nothing is permanent, meditating, and trying to be mindful/aware. I don't hold myself to any standards of piety, propriety or correctness. It is personal, and I don't proselytize. I don't care, much, what you think about it, but when asked, I will tell a person what I think about it.

Most of my answers to Marty's questions ended up with some fundamental concepts, and I shared the quote from Buddhism Now that so neatly and succinctly explains some of Buddhism's ideas that keep me attracted to this path: "You cannot change the past, arrange the future to suit yourself, or make other people say and do the things you want them to say and do. All of your power is contained within this moment, related to this particular body and mind.".

Marty told me the most difficult thing to understand was the idea that the past is done and the future is unknown. In fact, neither exist in the moment. He tied that in to his expectations, and couldn't see how one could avoid having any.

Which is when I reiterated that expectations were an attempt to control the non-existent future (all future is non-existent - by definition, it doesn't exist until it 'becomes' the present). He liked my mention that expectations shouldn't be confused with goals, and any goals are best approached as general directions, without being too specific about how to achieve them - that way, you are open to achieving them by means you can't anticipate (no expectations of how they will be achieved), and hold on very loosely, because as you move and change, so too may your goal evolve.

I say this a lot: At any time in my life, any time at all, if you asked me what my life would be like in five years, I would have guessed wrong. Taking the long view, my future has never been knowable by me.

I'm in a pretty good place now. Happy. I am, relatively, as secure as I've ever been. And I can't tell you how that happened. My story is one of things working out, but not according to any plan. My successes, such as they are, have come when I've been open to the way things were working out.

"Go with the Flow" has been my motto, and opposing the current has brought me low, time after time. No-to-low expectations have been involved in the way everything has worked out well. High, or fixed expectations have brought pain.

Marty didn't ask for advice (that's a good thing), but I am always prepared with the same advice that has worked so far: "Breathe. Keep doing that." Plus, per Andy's contribution, "Pay attention."

Food and Diet Section

2014 Daily Weight

Today's Weight:          213.2 lbs

Previous Weight:         214.4 lbs

Day Net Loss/Gain:       - 1.2 lbs

Diet Comment

My weight is coming down from off the chart, and that's a good thing!.

Food Log 

Breakfast
Skipped.

Lunch

Eggs scrambled with kale, peppers and onions, side of bacon.

Snack
A Quest bar.

Dinner
Roasted turkey breast on Ezekiel 4:9 Flax sprouted grain bread with mayonnaise, and a salad of baby kale, baby spinach, chard and balsamic vinaigrette.

Liquid Intake
   Coffee:  28 oz.   Water: 96+ oz.

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