Post 1287, Day 275 of 2014
- 1,371 days since I started this blog -
Daily Comment
- 1,371 days since I started this blog -
I'm good with that. I enjoy it. It doesn't bother me.
Some of my friends understand, but I don't think most do. Most people assume I'm lonely and looking for the kind of companionship/relationship that would save me from my solitude.
Nope. I like it like this. I'm not avoiding any relationships, but I'm not looking either. I try to stay open to people, and to all possibilities. I have no expectations, and, in fact, during this period where I have spent so much time alone, I have rarely felt lonely, and the few times I recall when I have, I have not been alone.
I think my feeling alright when I'm by myself has been one of the main reasons I have been happy these last three or so years up in Syracuse. I moved up here five years ago not knowing anybody, or having ever set foot in this place. I had one friend who got me the job that brought me up here, but he lived and worked elsewhere (he did move here a few weeks after I did). We have different interests and philosophies, and as good a friend as he is, we hang out regularly, but not often
All the other friends I've made here I made through music, and that has been the source of all my local social activities.
I regard myself as a social person. I am outgoing, and while I am reserved in unfamiliar social environments, I engage quickly once the ice has been broken. For me, music has been the usual ice-breaker.
Although most people think the emergence, or re-emergence, of my emphasis on music, and heavy participation in the local music scene is the basis of my happiness, and I agree that without it I would be less happy, I think it has been me coming to terms with, and being happy with having a large measure of solitude in my life. That has been the single thing that has made everything up here work for me so well.
It is not coincidental that getting a job which gives me more alone time than any other activity I have ever experienced initiated this period. I work alone, surrounded by people whose work is very different than mine, and we don't interface. Other than seeing these people in the corridors, there is no interaction. There are no group activities in my workspace. At first I feared this novel situation, but I quickly embraced it.
I know solitude is not a popular cultural choice, but it works for me.
Food and Diet Section
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| 2014 Daily Weight |
Today's Weight: 207.2 lbs
Previous Weight: 206.2 lbs
Day Net Loss/Gain: - 1.0 lbs
Diet Comment
Moving in the right direction, even with a very late Quest bar run last night.Diet Comment
Food Log
Breakfast
Lunch
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| Salmon salad (Wild Alaska pink salmon, celery, mayonnaise) on baby kale, baby spinach, chard, black beans and cole slaw mix. |
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| Chili (organic beef, black beans, tomatoes, chili spice mix, raw cacao, stevia-inulin blend) and spaghetti squash. |
Liquid Intake
Coffee: 24 oz. Water: 132+ oz.
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I did get some time with Katie while she was here. I love being alone, too. I think I am more uncomfortable with people than you are. Interestingly, I like my job partly because I am in the midst of people and can talk to them all day. But I prefer being alone. Always have. Love you, Joan
ReplyDeleteBeing alone is fine. Being with non-judgmental, non-competitive, non-egotistical, unselfish people is equally fine to me, but they are hard to find.
ReplyDelete- Light - Love - Compassion -
I used to feel uncomfortable, then realized the things I did to mitigate that discomfort were, to put it mildly, painful and had unintended consequences dire beyond my imagination. Then, it occurred to me that I should directly address my feelings, to see what was going on. That's when I found the social 'tape' playing in my head that had nothing to do with my present/'present' life here and now. And, bam! I stopped avoiding being alone.
ReplyDeleteSociety has a total double-standard when it comes to an individual's choice to be alone. We celebrate the individual, but demand he make concessions to a mythological social contract. SMH.
What is "SMH"? Forgive my stupidity, please.
Delete- Light? - Love - Compassion -
I enjoy both being with people and being alone. Sometimes the social contact gets to be too much and I might spend the whole day and night at my place. And if I really don't want to interact, I lock my gate, put the lock on the outside so it looks like I'm not home, and enjoy the peace and solitude. In Mexico the norm is to just show up at someone's house and Mexicans are so gracious they'll always act happy to see me (whether they really are or not) and no matter how poor will always offer something, even if it's just a glass of water. I'm trying to learn that graciousness, but when I know I'm not feeling that way, it's better to just do the locked gate thing. dogie
ReplyDeleteSMH = Shaking My Head. That's one of these kid's-twitter abbreviations. I had to ask the first time I saw it, too. Sorry. It is not meant to make you feel stupid, which you are most definitely NOT.
ReplyDeletei used to be hip. i guess i no longer.am.
Delete- Light - Love - Compassion -
Dobie, at times in the past, I was afraid of being alone. I equated it with loneliness, which was an extremely negative feeling for me (at the time). I don't think it is too broad to say that everybody needs some alone time, even if only adequate time for sleep - the ultimate alone-time, and maybe, for some people, enough. I cherish my alone time.
ReplyDelete