#1465, Thursday, July 9: The Real Master

Post 1465, Day 190 of 2015
- 1,651 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

Maybe it is all navel-gazing, maybe all this search for meaning is itself meaningless.

I am not sure that my life is better knowing that it is all illusory. How could I be? It's all an illusion.

My awareness of anything having to do with my perceptions, my thoughts, my spirituality, etc. - all illusion - all just fantasy, along with concepts like control, improvement, whatever.

All my thoughts - meaningless. Simple narratives to explain my subconscious/unconscious interactions with the environment (illusion!) to myself. How true are they? Impossible to gauge. Gut bacteria may have more influence on my life than any thought, expressed or not.

Any actions I take? Who knows what subconscious motivation I am covering up with rationale?

This blog and this comment? Meaningless, too, I guess. How could it be otherwise.

Everything is meaningless.

Thank you, to all the poets, writers, playwrights, composers, et al, who questioned the meaning of existence, but you needn't have bothered.

On the other hand, here I am, doing my meaningless stuff, every day, including right now. Why? Because, meaningless as it may be, it's my life. As far as I know, anyway. And I have to live it, or stop, and I can't stop. That is, unless my life is just an extension of the intelligence of gut bacteria, (the real Masters of the Universe).

If that's the case, I guess the decision on whether or not to live isn't mine.

Food and Diet Section

Today's Weight:                   210.8 lbs

Previous Weight (7/8):            210.0 lbs

Day Net Loss/Gain:                + 0.8 lbs

Diet Comment

Late eating, a second dinner (after my gig at Tilted Kilt) I called a snack - I was hungry after my gig, and that added some weight today.

Food Log

Breakfast
Protein shake with almond-coconut milk, kefir, kale, large organic egg, whey powder (36g protein), hemp seeds, hemp protein (7g protein), raw organic cacao powder, fermented coconut water, chia gel, moringa leaf powder, cinnamon, celery and stevia-inulin blend.

Lunch

Salmon salad (Wild Alaska pink salmon, celery, mayonnaise) on baby kale, baby spinach, chard and cole slaw mix.

Snack
A Quest bar.

Dinner

Turkey Sloppy Joe over broccoli with shaved parmesan, and a Quest bar for dessert.

Snack
Quest bars.

Liquid Intake
   Espressos: 4;  Coffee: 0 oz.; Water: 92+ oz.;

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