#1379, Monday, March 2: A lesson in humility

Post 1379, Day 61 of 2015
- 1,522 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

Over the weekend, a couple of members of the band finished the tracks for our first song for the next CD. I got to hear a rough mix, then a few more refined mixes.

I have a bit of a dilemma now. My opinion of the result isn't good. It is overproduced. To my ears, the overall balance is up-tilted and sounds thin to me. The original rhythm section tracks are buried beneath added percussion.

I'm sure that it is exactly the way J., the songwriter, lead singer, and main guitarist wants it. It is his arrangement, he was involved in every aspect of the recording and mixing.

My biggest objection is that it doesn't sound like the band to me. At least, not the i am Fool that performed this particular song for the last two years. To me, it doesn't sound particularly good. The song is good, the playing is good, but there are too many layers, a lot of tacked on stuff - nothing that the band could ever do in performance. It is like a beautiful Christmas tree that is so overdecorated that you can barely see the branches; it has become a shiny pile of tinsel and ornaments.

In the studio, I have no input, beyond laying down the bass line. That's the beginning and end of my role. I am not producing, I did not contribute to the writing. My few suggestions have been ignored.

What to do? Nothing. Unlike the last CD, this is not my project, not my vision. I'm participating because I know the song, and can play the bass line (which I created).

I have not been asked to contribute more than the bass track. In fact, more than twelve studio hours were spent on this, plus another dozen or so by J. at home, setting the track levels (twenty-six tracks). I spent less than five minutes laying down my one track, and fifteen minutes listening to different mixes when all the tracks were done.

Even though my opinion of the latest mixes is requested, I have nothing constructive to add. I am not being asked if I think this vision of the recording serves the song. I am being asked how I think it sounds. Since my objection is not to the musicianship or the quality of any specific track, but to the writer's vision of how the recording should sound, expressing my misgivings is the opposite of constructive.

There are so many reasons I feel wrong about this issue. For one, I am being judgmental, and my judgment is as invalid about this as judging anything ever is. And, in this case, irrelevant anyway. I have to get over my egotistical desire to control and influence everything I touch. I have to get over my desire to determine my place in the end result. Control is almost always illusory. In this case, I don't even have the illusion of control.

I needed to release my attachment to a self-defined result from my 'action' (my contribution to this recording). Before I did that, I thought of all kinds of stupid things I could do to address my frustration and lack of on-my-terms participation.

Release it I did. It should have been easier, but it was good.

Food and Diet Section

Today's Weight:                   207.0 lbs

Previous Weight (2/27):           205.2 lbs

Day Net Loss/Gain:                + 1.8 lbs

Diet Comment

I didn't think I was bad this weekend, but a bunch of mixed nuts yesterday might have been too much.
 

Food Log

Breakfast
A cocoa-hemp-kale protein shake (almond-coconut milk, kefir, kale, large organic egg, whey powder (36g protein), hemp seeds, hemp protein (7g protein), celery, raw organic cacao powder, fermented coconut water, chia gel, moringa leaf powder, cinnamon and stevia-inulin blend.

Lunch
Two Quest bars (stuck in a meeting, no lunch).

Dinner 
Salmon burger on 4:9 Flax bread with sauteed peppers and onions, and cole slaw and a Quest bar for dessert.

Liquid Intake
   Coffee:  24 oz.   Water: 80+ oz.  

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