#1368, Friday, February 13: Better to apologize than be right

Post 1368, Day 44 of 2015
- 1,505 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

I allowed myself to be offended this morning.

I got unasked-for feedback, and it was negative. It was critical, not of a thing I had done, but of my motivation for doing it. I hadn't discussed my motivation or reasoning with anybody.

I don't do many things with the intent of evil, or of assholery, or even negativity. If I can't be constructive, I don't give negative feedback. Usually, I don't mind getting negative feedback. That's because I like to have a dialog, debate, or even an argument. I think of it as clarifying. I often end up acknowledging my mistake, and I'm usually ready to be convinced.

In fact, I have made it a habit to examine it, to contrast what I did with the way it was perceived, usually trying to see where I erred. Many, many times this has helped me understand myself better.

The feedback I got was that I chose and posted a picture to make me look 'good' at the expense of others in the picture.

I picked the picture I chose out of five from one of my gigs. The other four were poorly exposed, had distracting elements, or didn't show the whole band. I don't think the one I chose makes anybody look bad, and I don't think it makes me look 'better' than anyone else in the photo.

I just thought, that's a good photo. I did a little post-processing on it (it wasn't my photo) to get things balanced and evenly exposed. And then I posted it on Facebook, and tagged the other people in it.

I thought it was a good thing, and I don't like it when people project their negativity on me.

This feedback wasn't of the "I don't like it because I see it this way..." The feedback was, "I don't like it because you did this to make yourself look good and me look bad."

Couldn't be further from my actual intent. The complainer then posted one of the other pictures. This picture was almost identical, but had people standing in slightly different positions. I said, I'm fine with your choice; but your picture doesn't look good, which is why I didn't use it in the first place.

My strategy on dealing with this (which I employed in this case): Disengage. I apologized for my part in making the other person feel bad, explained why I chose the picture I chose, and said I wouldn't post other pictures with the two of us in them.

The reply: "No, post pictures, just, if it's with me, I'd like a say."

I wrote back, "In the future, you will have complete autonomy regarding pictures that include the two of us. Again, I'm sorry for my part in this."

I guess I kept this alive long enough to write this. Now I've moved on. Officially over it. No longer offended.

Except, now that I've written this, I see a bit of passive-aggression on my part. I may have to apologize again, for that.

Food and Diet Section

Today's Weight:                   205.8 lbs

Previous Weight (2/12):           205.0 lbs

Day Net Loss/Gain:                + 0.8 lbs

Diet Comment

Yesterday's eating, almost 100% on-plan (with the most benign off-plan item - sprouted grain bread - being the single most benign off-plan item) did not stem my weight gain, so today I'm going to take 'drastic' action. I admit to a very high-calorie late-night snack (a lot of celery and a lot of home-made mayonnaise), but this doesn't spike insulin, since 98% of the calories (probably in the 7-800 Calorie range) were from fat (the healthiest fats: hemp oil, almond oil and macadamia nut oil, and whatever is in a single large organic egg, which is also the source of the only non-fat (protein) calories). Today, six Quest bars, a quarter pound of pepperoni, and a half-pound of cheese, then its on to the three-day weekend.
 

Food Log

Breakfast
Two Quest bars.

Lunch

Two Quest bars.

Dinner
Pepperoni and cheese with celery and home-made mayonnaise..

Snack
Two Quest bars.

Liquid Intake
   Coffee:  28 oz.   Water: 128+ oz. 

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