#1378, Friday, February 27: Conservation of energy

Post 1378, Day 58 of 2015
- 1,519 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

It's one of those, oh, shit! days at work, thanks to taking yesterday off.

What can you do? There's yesterday's work, then today's. And today, some of my customers are freaking out.

I'm glad this doesn't happen often.

And now Leonard Nimoy is dead, and everybody's making Star Trek references. I'm actually rather indifferent to the death of most people I haven't met, these days. Getting upset about something natural (in this case) and inevitable (in all cases), would not be logical, as Spock would say.

Having written that, I know it is cold, but it is honest. When innocents are murdered, that is one thing. When people I know pass, that is different, too. A sense of loss is appropriate.

The fact that I believe in reincarnation makes any death easier to take. I believe in reincarnation because I believe that life is energy and energy can only be transformed, it cannot be wasted or lost.

That's a law, right?

Food and Diet Section

Today's Weight:                   205.2 lbs

Previous Weight (2/26):           207.0 lbs

Day Net Loss/Gain:                - 1.8 lbs

Diet Comment

A little recovery from yesterday.
 

Food Log

Breakfast
A cocoa-hemp-kale protein shake (almond-coconut milk, kefir, kale, large organic egg, whey powder (36g protein), hemp seeds, hemp protein (7g protein), celery, raw organic cacao powder, fermented coconut water, chia gel, moringa leaf powder, cinnamon and stevia-inulin blend.

Lunch
At the Limp Lizard BBQ (Bradshaw Blues band lunch in honor of Jim's birthday):  Bacon-Swiss cheese burger with cole slaw. After, a Quest bar.

Snack
A Quest bar.

Dinner
At Mama Nancy's:

Half order of Big Anthony's Frittata (eggs, sausage, pepperoni, Swiss cheese, onions, peppers, broccoli, potatoes) and dry rye toast.

Liquid Intake
   Coffee:  24 oz.   Water: 84+ oz.  

Please leave a comment if you visit my blog. Thank you!

 

#1377. Thursday, February 26: Blog-not

Post 1377, Day 57 of 2015
- 1,518 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

I took the day off. All I accomplished was doing the paperwork for amending my tax return. That's one thing.

Food and Diet Section

Today's Weight:                   207.0 lbs

Previous Weight (2/25):           205.6 lbs

Day Net Loss/Gain:                + 1.4 lbs

Diet Comment

Yesterday's off-plan dinner and dessert took a toll. Today, I did retribution.
 

Food Log

Breakfast
A Quest bar.

Lunch

Eggs scrambled with baby kale, chard, spinach, peppers and onions, spicy tomato oil, and a side of bacon. Not shown: Celery and home-made mayonnaise and a Quest bar.

Dinner

A Quest bar.

Liquid Intake
   Coffee:  24 oz.   Water: 78+ oz.

Please leave a comment if you visit my blog. Thank you!

 

#1376, Wednesday, February 25: Planning as sci-fi

Post 1376, Day 56 of 2015
- 1,517 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

I found myself thinking about the future today. I do that often. Too often.

It is probably generous to call it 'thinking' - it is fantasy. I imagine some future event or action (or both), and then I think how I would react or respond.

I can post-fantasy rationalize this as preparation, but if history has shown me anything, it is that I can't make specific preparations for the future - it has never arrived how I imagined. We aren't talking about living in Syracuse and buying a Winter coat in July (which I have never done), or setting your alarm clock. I'm talking about imagining activities you aren't currently doing and imagine doing in the future.

This might be a failure of imagination on my part, an inability to predict a future actively unfolding in real time. But I think it isn't that. I think it is a simple matter that whenever you make a plan, you set up expectations about something you don't know about. Sunrise doesn't happen according to your plan. A plan to change it in any way is going to end in frustration. You don't even know whether you will be able to see it - it could be obscured by clouds.

So planning is daydreaming. It may be that, as in the Foundation Trilogy by Isaac Asimov, at some point, a predictable way of forecasting large-population events will be found.

But they call that series of novels science fiction. I think it is more accurately fantasy/science fiction.

Food and Diet Section

Today's Weight:                   205.6 lbs

Previous Weight (2/24):           205.2 lbs

Day Net Loss/Gain:                + 0.4 lbs

Diet Comment

I wrote yesterday about my end-of-day beer and Quest bar orgy. So it goes. Today, better already...
 

Food Log

Breakfast
A cocoa-hemp-kale protein shake (almond-coconut milk, kefir, kale, large organic egg, whey powder (36g protein), hemp seeds, hemp protein (7g protein), celery, raw organic cacao powder, fermented coconut water, chia gel, moringa leaf powder, cinnamon and stevia-inulin blend.

Lunch

Roasted turkey breast chopped salad: baby kale, baby spinach, chard, cole slaw mix, black beans and balsamic vinaigrette. Quest bar for dessert.

Dinner

At Eskapes: Bacon-cheddar burger with chipotle peppers and sauce, on a bun, with chips. Two big cookies for dessert.

Liquid Intake
   Coffee:  32 oz.   Water: 84+ oz.  and a nice glass of Pinot Noir.

Please leave a comment if you visit my blog. Thank you!

 

#1375, Tuesday, February 24: That fatal glass of beer

Post 1375, Day 55 of 2015
- 1,516 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

After playing a set at one kind-of-dead open mic, I went to another. Since it was late, I settled in for a wait for my set.

Being that the bar doesn't serve anything else, I had a nice draft recommended by the bartender (it was a nut brown ale, I didn't catch the name).

I don't drink beer often. I got a little buzz from drinking that one beer. It made me impatient, and I ended up leaving the bar before playing.

I went home, and, although I had previously decided that I was done eating, I ate a Quest bar, then another. Then another. I had some water to wash down my evening pills, and fell asleep.

Apparently, I get munchies from anything that gets me high.

Food and Diet Section

Today's Weight:                   205.2 lbs

Previous Weight (2/23):           206.2 lbs

Day Net Loss/Gain:                - 1.0 lbs

Diet Comment

Yesterday's Quest bars and a salad eating worked, I guess. A man can't live by Quest bars alone - well, actually, I think a man could live on Quest Bars alone, but I digress: Today, only one Quest bar, after lunch out.
 

Food Log

Breakfast
Skipped.

Lunch
At Ling-Ling's Chinese Buffet and Grill:

Brussels sprouts, kimchee, and, from the "Mongolian Grill", my go-to dish: pork and chicken with cabbage, onions, mushrooms, green peppers and broccoli. Not shown: Dessert Quest bar.

Dinner

Sauteed wild-caught salmon filet with quinoa-lentil pilaf and cole slaw.

Snack
Quest bars.

Liquid Intake
   Coffee:  28 oz.   Water: 118+ oz.  12 oz. of nut brown ale.

Please leave a comment if you visit my blog. Thank you!

 

#1374, Monday, February 23: Listening like the Steppenwolf

Post 1374, Day 54 of 2015
- 1,515 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

I was reminded over the weekend of a book I read almost fifty years ago: Steppenwolf, by Hermann Hesse.

I learned a lot from it back in my teen days. But the most enduring, practical takeaway (not the most meaningful, or philosophically deep) was about how to listen to recorded music. It wasn't about the fidelity of the recording, it was about listening through to the recording event.

When the book was written, about ninety years ago, all recordings were made the same way: An actual performance was cut directly to the shellac master used to press phonograph records.

That meant that, despite the primitive recording and playback equipment, it was easier to hear into the performance than it is now.

It isn't impossible now, of course, but it is difficult, since the performance is put together piecemeal, and nothing of the original is left in the final product, although the occasional album is still made with live sound in mind... But I'm digressing. Here's the reason why I was reminded of this aspect of my early encounter with Hesse's book:.

I don't remember exactly when it came to me, probably a few years ago, but yesterday (Sunday) I found an mp3 of a cassette recording of the soul review I played in from 1973 to 1976. This was an early recording, made, I think, in February or March of 1974, three or four months after I started working with Primitive Love, and formed The Love Machine backup band.

The recording is dreadful, no two ways about it. It was made on a Radio Shack cassette deck with two buck-a-piece (with desk stands) microphones, by the drummer I hung out with in those days. But the performace is something pretty special.

I had forgotten how amazingly good the singers were, but the recording leaves no doubt in my mind that they were world-class good. The band is good, too, but the singers! Wow!

Of course, this stimulated a lot of thought and a lot of memories. Including the point made in Steppenwolf about listening through the defects in the recording to the event. All I can say is, wow!

There are stories attached to these recordings, but I won't be telling them here. I am going to give you a taste, and I think, if you can hear past the tape hiss, the over-ambient 'space' (the microphones were probably 20 feet from the stage in a small club, but it sounds like the stage is at one end of a canyon), the absence of any information at the frequency extremes... If you can listen through to the performance, you might hear the same magic I did back then. Here's taste one, a cover (they all were covers) of Blue Magic's 'Stop to Start'.

This is one I had to fight everybody to do. Nobody knew reggae back then. And I really had to push hard to get this one onto the set:  The Wailer's 'I Shot the Sheriff'. This is a few months after the US release, and a few months before the monster hit by Eric Clapton, which I've always thought is/was awful, and made us pull the song from our set list.

Food and Diet Section

Today's Weight:                   206.2 lbs

Previous Weight (2/20):           206.4 lbs

Day Net Loss/Gain:                - 0.2 lbs

Diet Comment

Essentially, flat after a weekend where I ate well, right up until Sunday night, when I made the mistake of not eating before my gig.
 

Food Log

Breakfast
A Quest bar.

Lunch

Roasted turkey breast chopped salad: baby kale, baby spinach, chard, cole slaw mix, black beans and balsamic vinaigrette. Quest bar for dessert.

Dinner

Quest bars.

Snack
A Quest bar.

Liquid Intake
   Coffee:  28 oz.   Water: 96+ oz. 

Please leave a comment if you visit my blog. Thank you!

 

#1373, Friday, February 20: Complaining about complaining

Post 1373, Day 51 of 2015
- 1,512 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

I did it: I sent a message complaining about the weather. Now I feel ridiculous.

Complaining is a useless and negative activity. It is neither insightful, and, although the topic is usually recent, it is still (always) in the past. Thinking about the past is the source of depression.

But I got caught up in the novelty of it - here in Syracuse, we have had ten straight days of sub-zero temperatures, mostly accompanied by snow. While I was digging out my car, at a temperature of eleven degrees below zero, it just seemed so... tiring and draining.

On the plus side, I was in time for a meeting that turned out to be on Monday, not today. Second plus side? My belief in a temperature 'too cold for snow' has been corrected. I know now there is no such thing.

Back to complaining, the thing that I like least about complaining, and complainers, is that it denies gratitude (which is the answer to all complaints).

The very cold weather reminds me how much I have to be grateful for: A warm apartment, clothes that permit me to survive being outdoors, the beauty of sounds in the cold night, when there is otherwise stillness, the fact that I'm around to report on bad weather, the fact that I have a job to go to, that makes so many other things in my life possible... The list of things I have to be grateful for is endless - so too should be my thankfulness.

I have nothing to complain about.

Food and Diet Section

Today's Weight:                   206.4 lbs

Previous Weight (2/19):           204.6 lbs

Day Net Loss/Gain:                + 1.8 lbs

Diet Comment

Ugh! Too many beans yesterday (beans were in everything I ate outside of Quest bars)? I don't know, it was a lot, and therefore a lot of carbs. Whatever, I'll try to get back on track today and over the weekend.
 

Food Log

Breakfast

Chili: Organic beef, black beans, tomatoes, chili spice, raw cacao, stevia-inulin blend. Not shown: A Quest bar.

Lunch

Tuna salad and baby kale, baby spinach, chard and cole slaw mix.

Dinner

Eggs scrambled with baby kale, chard, spinach, peppers and onions, spicy tomato oil, and a side of bacon. Not shown: Celery and home-made mayonnaise and a Quest bar.

Snack
A Quest bar.

Liquid Intake
   Coffee:  28 oz.   Water: 112+ oz. 

Please leave a comment if you visit my blog. Thank you!

 

#1372, Thursday, February 19: Fear on the road

Post 1372, Day 50 of 2015
- 1,511 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

I got scared driving through a snowstorm last night. A trip that normally takes fifteen to twenty minutes took ninety-five minutes (I was aware of the time because I was out on what was supposed to be a two-stop 'tour').

I thought, what am I afraid of? I was afraid of other drivers on the road. I was afraid of being hurt in a collision with another car. I felt like I was in real-time danger.

Then I tried to shake it off, to let go of my fear (since it wasn't serving me - the conditions were such that I didn't feel I could get out of harm's way, if it came to that). Defining my fear helped.

So, half an hour in fear, then an hour of careful attention to the road and the traffic around me.

The effect of that concentration was interesting. Nearly complete mindfulness (once I turned off the radio). It felt a lot like an hour-long meditation. It made the hour pass by in a sense of timelessness. It was relaxing.

In short, the hour spent without fear felt shorter than the half-hour spent being scared.

Today, it is just a story to tell.

Food and Diet Section

Today's Weight:                   204.6 lbs

Previous Weight (2/18):           206.0 lbs

Day Net Loss/Gain:                - 1.4 lbs

Diet Comment

That's a good result. Trying to continue in that direction.
 

Food Log

Breakfast
A cocoa-hemp-berries-and-kale protein shake (almond-coconut milk, kefir, kale, frozen mixed strawberries, blueberries and raspberries, large organic egg, whey powder (36g protein), hemp seeds, hemp protein (7g protein), celery, raw organic cacao powder, fermented coconut water, chia gel, moringa leaf powder, cinnamon and stevia-inulin blend.

Lunch

Roasted turkey breast chopped salad: baby kale, baby spinach, chard, cole slaw mix, black beans and balsamic vinaigrette. Quest bar for dessert.

Snack
A Quest bar.

Dinner

Chili (grass-fed beef, tomatoes, red beans, spices) over cauliflower. Not shown: More chili and a Quest bar for dessert.

Snack
Chili and a Quest bar.

Liquid Intake
   Coffee:  28 oz.   Water: 104+ oz. 

Please leave a comment if you visit my blog. Thank you!

 

#1371, Wednesday, February 18: Future positive

Post 1371, Day 49 of 2015
- 1,510 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

I believe the reality of Universal indifference - that is, the Universe is neutral, without emotions (at least, as we picture them).

Its neutrality takes the shape (this is a metaphor, not a syllogism) of an eight-ounce glass with exactly four ounces of liquid into it. We, individually, project onto it whether it is half-full or half-empty (it is both, but our projections are not necessarily rational).

But I believe that how a person perceives the Universe affects their behavior. I'm a half-full kind of guy, an optimist. I believe we live in a safe Universe (by virtue of its neutrality). I continually interact with people who feel otherwise.

They see a future where unknowns are menacing; they worry about the consequences of what doesn't go according to plan; they fear what they can't control.

While I may not be completely free of fear (working on that), I don't worry about the future, knowing how little I can predict, let alone control it. The future will, presumably arrive (if it doesn't, nothing to worry about at all), and will roll out as it will, no matter anybody's expectations.

I don't share the worries of people who feel there is some sort of Judgment Day coming. Not only do I not believe that, I have not known this fear to produce the kind of behavior that would spare believers from a negative judgment, at least in human terms. Believers in Heaven and Hell think they understand the criteria they will be judged on, yet don't behave as though they wanted the 'more favorable' final destination.

Me? Somehow or other, despite all my past behavior, a good portion of which would damn me if I believed in such, I woke up this morning, and was grateful. Presumably, one day that won't happen.

I don't/won't care.

Food and Diet Section

Today's Weight:                   206.0 lbs

Previous Weight (2/17):           206.4 lbs

Day Net Loss/Gain:                - 0.4 lbs

Diet Comment

Just a small step in the right direction, today's Quest-bar intensive eating should help overcome lunch out.
 

Food Log

Breakfast
A Quest bar.

Lunch

At Ruby Tuesday's:

Bacon cheeseburger and spaghetti squash. Roll and french fries not eaten. Not shown: Salad bar with mesulin mix, broccoli, tomatoes, peas, lima beans, cottage cheese, bacon bits, hard-boiled egg and blue cheese dressing.

Snack
A Quest bar.

Dinner
At rehearsal, a tossed salad with sauteed chicken breast and blue cheese dressing and a Quest bar.

Snack
A Quest bar.

Liquid Intake
   Coffee:  28 oz.   Water: 102+ oz. 

Please leave a comment if you visit my blog. Thank you!

 

#1370, Tuesday, February 17: Real wealth

Post 1370, Day 48 of 2015
- 1,509 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

Is being content the same as being complacent?

If yes, I am both.

I am in this place where I recognize that I am wanting for nothing. Not that I have everything I want (although I pretty much do), but the things I want that I don't are the big-ticket items: World Peace, justice for all, an end to poverty.

In other words, I want for nothing that I could conceivably get for myself.

That is a lot of wealth.

Food and Diet Section

Today's Weight:                   206.4 lbs

Previous Weight (2/16):           205.0 lbs

Day Net Loss/Gain:                + 1.4 lbs

Diet Comment

Last night's midnight snack, celery and home-made mayonnaise, set me back. There'll be none of that today.
 

Food Log

Breakfast
A cocoa-hemp-kale protein shake (almond-coconut milk, kefir, kale, large organic egg, whey powder (36g protein), hemp seeds, hemp protein (7g protein), celery, raw organic cacao powder, fermented coconut water, chia gel, moringa leaf powder, cinnamon and stevia-inulin blend.

Lunch

Salmon salad (Wild Alaska pink salmon, celery, mayonnaise) on baby kale, baby spinach, chard, black beans and cole slaw mix.

Snack
A Quest bar.

Dinner
Wild-caught salmon patty with cole slaw and a Quest bar.

Snack
A Quest bar.

Liquid Intake
   Coffee:  28 oz.   Water: 72+ oz. 

Please leave a comment if you visit my blog. Thank you!

 

#1369, Monday, February 16: My one accomplishment

Post 1369, Day 47 of 2015
- 1,508 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

I have the day off from work today, and it mostly went to waste. I did accomplish one thing, though.

Accomplishing one thing a day is my daily goal. It's not lofty, not difficult, and that is why it is a good goal for me.

Of course, what qualifies as a goal-worthy thing also makes it easy. Goal-worthy things are what I do that doesn't give me immediate pleasure (or set me back in any way).

So, all chores count.

Work doesn't count, though, because although everything I do at work is delayed gratification, (which comes in terms of a bi-weekly paycheck), that element of it means whatever things I do there are for the direct benefit of my employer.

Having a goal as easily accomplished as changing a toilet-paper role means I reach my goal nearly every day. This improves my self-esteem.

Just kidding. My self-esteem, what there is of it, has nothing to do with this.

Of course, setting the bar so low also means when I don't achieve it, I don't care, because I know I could have, and if it bothers me, it's never too late - there's always something I can do to make it right.

Usually, I don't care.

That's just the way I roll, here in Paradise.

Food and Diet Section

Today's Weight:                   205.0 lbs

Previous Weight (2/13):           205.8 lbs

Day Net Loss/Gain:                - 0.8 lbs

Diet Comment

I didn't eat especially well over the weekend - not too far off-plan, but large quantities of cheese, in this case. I'm going to have to let cheese lie for a while. Seems to be a trigger food. Meanwhile, I'm back to last Thursday's weight, but a midnight snack of celery and home-made mayonnaise may set me back.
 

Food Log

Breakfast
Skipped.

Lunch

Eggs scrambled with baby kale, chard, spinach, peppers and onions, spicy tomato oil, and a side of bacon.

Snack
A Quest bar.

Dinner
Two Quest bars.

Snack
Celery with home-made mayonnaise.

Liquid Intake
   Coffee:  28 oz.   Water: 64+ oz. 

Please leave a comment if you visit my blog. Thank you!

 

#1368, Friday, February 13: Better to apologize than be right

Post 1368, Day 44 of 2015
- 1,505 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

I allowed myself to be offended this morning.

I got unasked-for feedback, and it was negative. It was critical, not of a thing I had done, but of my motivation for doing it. I hadn't discussed my motivation or reasoning with anybody.

I don't do many things with the intent of evil, or of assholery, or even negativity. If I can't be constructive, I don't give negative feedback. Usually, I don't mind getting negative feedback. That's because I like to have a dialog, debate, or even an argument. I think of it as clarifying. I often end up acknowledging my mistake, and I'm usually ready to be convinced.

In fact, I have made it a habit to examine it, to contrast what I did with the way it was perceived, usually trying to see where I erred. Many, many times this has helped me understand myself better.

The feedback I got was that I chose and posted a picture to make me look 'good' at the expense of others in the picture.

I picked the picture I chose out of five from one of my gigs. The other four were poorly exposed, had distracting elements, or didn't show the whole band. I don't think the one I chose makes anybody look bad, and I don't think it makes me look 'better' than anyone else in the photo.

I just thought, that's a good photo. I did a little post-processing on it (it wasn't my photo) to get things balanced and evenly exposed. And then I posted it on Facebook, and tagged the other people in it.

I thought it was a good thing, and I don't like it when people project their negativity on me.

This feedback wasn't of the "I don't like it because I see it this way..." The feedback was, "I don't like it because you did this to make yourself look good and me look bad."

Couldn't be further from my actual intent. The complainer then posted one of the other pictures. This picture was almost identical, but had people standing in slightly different positions. I said, I'm fine with your choice; but your picture doesn't look good, which is why I didn't use it in the first place.

My strategy on dealing with this (which I employed in this case): Disengage. I apologized for my part in making the other person feel bad, explained why I chose the picture I chose, and said I wouldn't post other pictures with the two of us in them.

The reply: "No, post pictures, just, if it's with me, I'd like a say."

I wrote back, "In the future, you will have complete autonomy regarding pictures that include the two of us. Again, I'm sorry for my part in this."

I guess I kept this alive long enough to write this. Now I've moved on. Officially over it. No longer offended.

Except, now that I've written this, I see a bit of passive-aggression on my part. I may have to apologize again, for that.

Food and Diet Section

Today's Weight:                   205.8 lbs

Previous Weight (2/12):           205.0 lbs

Day Net Loss/Gain:                + 0.8 lbs

Diet Comment

Yesterday's eating, almost 100% on-plan (with the most benign off-plan item - sprouted grain bread - being the single most benign off-plan item) did not stem my weight gain, so today I'm going to take 'drastic' action. I admit to a very high-calorie late-night snack (a lot of celery and a lot of home-made mayonnaise), but this doesn't spike insulin, since 98% of the calories (probably in the 7-800 Calorie range) were from fat (the healthiest fats: hemp oil, almond oil and macadamia nut oil, and whatever is in a single large organic egg, which is also the source of the only non-fat (protein) calories). Today, six Quest bars, a quarter pound of pepperoni, and a half-pound of cheese, then its on to the three-day weekend.
 

Food Log

Breakfast
Two Quest bars.

Lunch

Two Quest bars.

Dinner
Pepperoni and cheese with celery and home-made mayonnaise..

Snack
Two Quest bars.

Liquid Intake
   Coffee:  28 oz.   Water: 128+ oz. 

Please leave a comment if you visit my blog. Thank you!