#1395, Tuesday, March 31: While I was away...

Post 1395, Day 90 of 2015
- 1,551 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

The best part of going on vacation is the contrast with the usual day-to-day. I disconnected from life in Syracuse. I did things that were almost exclusively non-Syracuse-life-ordinary things. And I didn't do what I usually do at home.

I did a lot of walking, for one. I walked on the beach, to stores (once - that's a long walk), took late night walks with Reggae, Marco's Irish Wolfhound. I did no driving at all.

I did a lot of fishing, too. I surf-casted almost every day, and went out in Ponce Inlet by boat a couple of times. Discovered a real talent for not catching fish. In fact, nobody around me caught a fish, until the next-to-last day, when a few fish were caught, including one I reeled in. That's the pic I'm posting. 

I heard some of my fishing friends celebrated my departure by catching oodles of fish the day I left.

I ate unusual (for me) things. Lots of off-plan food, including a lot of home-made pizza. Bread. Pretzels. On the other hand, almost every day, I got to eat fresh-caught fish. Still, I lived in a bread and flour environment, and far fewer vegetables. I also drank a lot, including more beer than I've had in the last two years. So... I gained weight, despite the sharp uptick in exercise.

And came home to some news. Terrible news, excellent news.

The bad news is that the leader of i am Fool, J., had a couple of heart attacks while I was away. He had two surgeries. He's stable, in recovery. I found out on my flight home. I'm glad he's still with us, and will recover.

The excellent news is that Alex got an Assistant Writer position on the second season of HBO's show called The Brink. The first season hasn't aired yet, but has finished shooting and is in post-production. He starts in two weeks. He will be leaving Apple to do it. We hope it is the start of the professional writing career he moved to California to have. I am very, very proud of him. It's quite an achievement, almost nine years in the making.

Other than that, I was playing bass within two hours of my arrival home, had picked up a little sub-gig and have a gig this week. That felt good, and normal.

I'm not on vacation anymore. I was very happy while I was in Florida, and I'm very happy in Syracuse.

I'm just a happy guy!

Food and Diet Section

Today's Weight:                   213.4 lbs

Previous Weight (3/20):           208.4 lbs

Day Net Loss/Gain:                + 5.0 lbs

Diet Comment

My vacation, while full of healthy food - most usually, fresh-caught fish - was also an experiment in high-carb eating and drinking. So it goes. Now I have a goal to lose 10 pounds in April.
 

Food Log

Breakfast
A cocoa-hemp-kale protein shake (almond-coconut milk, kefir, kale, large organic egg, whey powder (36g protein), hemp seeds, hemp protein (7g protein), celery, raw organic cacao powder, fermented coconut water, chia gel, moringa leaf powder, cinnamon and stevia-inulin blend.

Lunch

Roasted turkey breast chopped salad: baby kale, baby spinach, chard, cole slaw mix and balsamic vinaigrette. And a Quest bar for dessert.

Dinner
Cheese, capicola, pepper and onion omelet and Ezekiel 4:9 Flax bread.

Snack
Pepperoni.

Liquid Intake
   Coffee:  28 oz.   Water: 88+ oz.

Please leave a comment if you visit my blog. Thank you!

 

#1394, Friday, March 20: On vacation... almost

Post 1394, Day 79 of 2015
- 1,540 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

I am going on vacation Monday, so there won't be any updates until April 1st. No joke.

My vacations take the form of visits to friends and family, and this one is no exception. My good and old friend Marco lives in an idyllic setting South of Daytona Beach. He is as close to being on the water as you can get in his location, and we'll be surf-casting for dinner every day I'm there. 

It's what he does every day. He teaches surf-casting, too. He is an excellent chef, as well. Last year's vacation he was sick almost the entire time, and we still spent hours on the beach catching fish.

This is this year's beach vacation, as it was last year's. I'm excitedly looking forward to relief from the noxious weather (today's the first day of Spring, and it's twenty-three degrees out and snowing here in Syracuse), and spending a lot of time outdoors - something very different than what I do at home.

I take two week-long vacations every year, and fill in the year with long weekends. These long weekends are, in many ways, the most important vacations: They're the sanity-keeping ones. The ones that bring me back home to New York City, and to Sharon, MA, and Brattleboro, VT, and Woodstock and Westchester New York.

My other long vacation is to LA to visit Alex and friends. 

That's the plan. Not planned, but happening, will be visits to other parts of New York (I'm officiating at a renewal of vows in Westchester, and just waiting for better weather to get back to Woodstock), and more visits to NYC.

That's how I like to use my vacation.

It just occurred to me that going forward, vacations will be different. They won't be vacations from work, they'll be vacations from my day-to-day life, and not limited by work.

I'm looking forward to that.

Food and Diet Section

Today's Weight:                   208.4 lbs

Previous Weight (3/19):           207.4 lbs

Day Net Loss/Gain:                + 1.0 lbs

Diet Comment

Was it the almonds? Was it eating the majority of my calories after 10pm? I don't know. And, since I ate pretty well, I don't really understand why the weight gain.
 

Food Log

Breakfast
Quest bars.

Lunch

Tuna salad and baby kale, baby spinach, chard and cole slaw mix. Not shown: A Quest bar for dessert.

Snack 

Baby carrots and home-made mayonnaise.

Dinner
Capicola and melted Swiss cheese on Ezekiel 4:9 Flax bread.

Liquid Intake
   Coffee:  28 oz.   Water: 80+ oz.

Please leave a comment if you visit my blog. Thank you!

 

#1392, Thursday, March 19: Old dog, new dog house

Post 1392, Day 78 of 2015
- 1,539 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

I now possess an upright bass. Because I need to be more humble.

The few people who know that I was getting it have big expectations. I know better. I am starting from zero with ith it and it will be a long time, if ever, before I can express myself on this bass the way I do on electric bass.

The two instruments are derived from two different instrumental families and have exactly one thing in common: Tuning and frequency range. Other than that, they are different in every dimension, including sound and smell.

My plan of attack is to go slowly, use written music (getting back my music-reading skills will benefit all my playing, I think), and pay a lot of attention to proper form and intonation. The doghouse is very physically challenging, and I know at least one player who has hurt himself to the point of having to give up playing because of his devotion to the upright.

And, I may not ever get to the point where I'm as comfortable with this as I am on bass guitar. So be it. The idea here is my own pleasure/satisfaction/fulfillment. I'm not trying to make anything more out of it than some good sounds, and generate a little self-gratification.

The upright bass was the first musical instrument I was really attracted to, from when I saw Stubby Kaye playing one with a moustache painted on it as a toddler; but its intimidating size, as well as the fact that nobody I personally knew played one kept me from it. By the time I grew into considering it, I was pretty much hooked on bass guitar.

So, once again, something new for this old dog.

Food and Diet Section

Today's Weight:                   207.4 lbs

Previous Weight (3/18):           208.6 lbs

Day Net Loss/Gain:                - 1.2 lbs

Diet Comment

A little recovery from what has been days of indulgence. Today should continue that trend.
 

Food Log

Breakfast
A cocoa-hemp-kale protein shake (almond-coconut milk, kefir, kale, large organic egg, whey powder (36g protein), hemp seeds, hemp protein (7g protein), celery, raw organic cacao powder, fermented coconut water, chia gel, moringa leaf powder, cinnamon and stevia-inulin blend.

Lunch

Roasted turkey breast chopped salad: baby kale, baby spinach, chard, cole slaw mix, black beans and balsamic vinaigrette.

Snack 

A Quest bar.

Dinner
Pepperoni and cole slaw. A few ounces of almonds.

Snack 

Quest bars.

Liquid Intake
   Coffee:  28 oz.   Water: 100+ oz.

Please leave a comment if you visit my blog. Thank you!

 

#1391, Wednesday, March 18: Let go of the small shit

Post 1391, Day 77 of 2015
- 1,538 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

I am not sure where the feeling of 'discontent' comes from. Certainly, it is an ego thing: the feeling that what is happening, where I am, is not what should be or where I'm supposed to be.

There are lots of cliches, many sourced from Eastern philosophy, about the 'rightness' of being where you are. Mostly, the idea is that where you are is the only place you can be - an obvious truth.

But if it is true that wherever you are is the only place you can be, then in my philosophy, the opposite must also be true. In this case, that means that you can be everywhere at once - being in one place at a time, well, that expression has the sense-temporal illusion built right into it. What if there is only one time - and it has no past, no future, just now - with timelessness comes the idea that everywhere you have ever been, will ever go, is simultaneous. There is only now. The idea that you are in the only place you can be is only true in the temporal sense. And that is, as they say, the rub.

We can't perceive now-ness - there is a sensory delay in realizing anything from when it occurred. The situation you are in is the situation you were in by the time you acknowledge it. You can't change the (perceived) past. Once it is history, there isn't anything you can do to change it.

I am a little discontent as I write this. But as I list the things that are driving my uneasiness, I realize they are whiny, self-indulgent things. I didn't get my way, and it looks like I'm not getting my way now and won't in the future. Boo-freaking-hoo. Crying over spilt milk, or worse, crying because of fear of the future. It is embarrassing.

Apparently, things are going so well, that when something seems less-than perfect, I want to vent. Things are too good! What the hell happened?

I have a little mental letting-go exercise I do.

Now's the time.

Food and Diet Section

Today's Weight:                   208.6 lbs

Previous Weight (3/17):           208.4 lbs

Day Net Loss/Gain:                + 0.2 lbs

Diet Comment

With a negligible weight gain today, I feel as if I've gotten away with something. I ate two full dinners and a late snack on top of celebrating St. Paddy's with a few shots of Irish whiskey. I wish I could say today would be better.
 

Food Log

Breakfast
Skipped.

Lunch
At Ling-Ling's Chinese Buffet and Grill:

Brussels sprouts, kimchee, and, from the "Mongolian Grill", my go-to dish: pork and chicken with cabbage, onions, mushrooms, green peppers and broccoli. Not shown: Dessert Quest bar.

Snack 

Quest bars.

Dinner
Capicola and eggs with Ezekiel 4:9 Flax sprouted grain bread and celery and home-made mayonnaise.

Snack 

Quest bars.

Liquid Intake
   Coffee:  28 oz.   Water: 100+ oz.

Please leave a comment if you visit my blog. Thank you!

 

#1390, Tuesday, March 17: Tomorrow's bass

Post 1390, Day 76 of 2015
- 1,537 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

The idea that what you think about, what you visualize, becomes real (manifests) is a very old one (it's the basis of 'The Secret' which used it as a marketing phenomenon for New Age self-help pitchmen). This doesn't mean it isn't true, or that it doesn't make sense.

It seems to me that, since thought and perception are coupled so tightly (one doesn't happen without the other), it is not an impossibility that this is 'real'. I also think that it is a perceptual aberration that sees imagining, visualizing or just thinking about something as the 'cause' in a cause and effect relationship when the thought-about thing happens.

Cause and effect is a time-based relationship. The only time something happens is that elusive 'now' which actually encompasses all 'real' time, and which we human thinkers can't perceive. I believe the thought and the manifestation are, in the big picture, simultaneous things; neither coming before or after the other. Our perception, which only sees a flow time, doesn't recognize this.

So, maybe I shouldn't have been surprised about the chain of events that started at a duo gig Saturday night and will conclude tomorrow (Wednesday) night.

It began with a conversation about my forsaken quest to take up upright bass. Guitarist-singer Chad asked me what happened with that, saying he would really like an all-acoustic format at some point. I told him that, due to not being able to find a locally available and sympatico teacher, I'd given up on the idea. I didn't want to go about it in my usual 'backing into it' way, because I was a little intimidated by the instrument's physicality and didn't want to hurt myself, or waste time and money trying to figure everything out by myself. I wanted a teacher's help with buying one, setting it up, and learning how to play it properly, without injury.

He asked if I couldn't start by renting one, and I insisted I wanted to find a teacher first. But the idea, which I hadn't thought much about since last year, was now back in my head.

At one of the three open mic/jam sessions I went to Sunday, the house band had an upright bass player I knew only slightly, and had never really talked with. Chatting him up, I found out he was from Utica, and didn't know any local upright bass teachers. But he said he'd be happy to give me some help/lessons before the open mic started, if I wanted.

When I mentioned that I didn't even have an upright to practice on, he gave a little laugh. It turns out, he was thinking about selling his 'beginner' bass. He'd think about it, and call me (I gave him my card) if he decided to do it.

Yesterday he sent me a text with details about the instrument, and I texted him back I was good to go.

I'm going to the bank today, and will drive out to Utica after work tomorrow to complete the deal (and get my first lesson, while I'm there).

Funny how some things work out. Of course, that's just a perception which means its just an illusion.

Still, funny. And nice.

Food and Diet Section

Today's Weight:                   208.4 lbs

Previous Weight (3/16):           208.8 lbs

Day Net Loss/Gain:                - 0.4 lbs

Diet Comment

This small step in the right direction was erased in St. Patrick's day indulgences.
 

Food Log

Breakfast
Two Quest bars.

Lunch

Salmon salad (Wild Alaska pink salmon, celery, mayonnaise) on baby kale, baby spinach, chardand cole slaw mix.

Dinner 1
Pepperoni and eggs with cole slaw.

Dinner 2
At Funk'n'Waffles:

Reuben waffle (pumpernickel rye waffle with corned beef, swiss cheese, sauerkraut and Russian dressing).

Snack 
Two Quest bars.

Liquid Intake
   Coffee:  28 oz.   Water: 116+ oz. Irish whiskey - multi-shots 

Please leave a comment if you visit my blog. Thank you!

 

#1389, Monday, March 16: Enduring work

Post 1389, Day 75 of 2015
- 1,536 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

About work. I keep a two-column list in my head called "Work or Retire". I consult it every weekday, and make a decision whether or not to keep going to work (which is the default) or begin my retirement.

The Go to Work column has these things in it: Pension after December 6, 2015 (my five-year anniversary); and Retire January 29, 2016. That's also the list's use-by date.

Lately, little things have been accumulating in the Retire (AKA the "I-don't-want-to-do-this-anymore") column. Little and big things. Today (and the reason I am writing on this topic), my work-from-home connection wouldn't connect, and I ended up having to go in to work when I had not planned to work in the office. Also, things on the network aren't good. The system is frequently dial-up slow - a hassle when all your work is network-dependent (dumb workstation).

Other items in the bag it and sleep in column are an ongoing reorganization plan so stupid and inefficient that it has taken longer than I have been at the VA (more than four years now) for it to get to the point where partial implementation has created more inefficiency and my participation is probably moot. I also have a couple of assignments I find unpleasant.

Balancing and canceling some of these things out, there usually isn't much work and the office is only a mile away from home.

I am incredibly lucky and grateful to have a job which doesn't require overtime, doesn't make me compete with co-workers for advancement (or require that I want advancement), offers benefits, including good healthcare and an actual pension. This is the perfect end-of-career job for someone like me, who is seeking low stress over wealth.

The disadvantages are few: Lower pay than private-sector work, the bureaucracy, and attendant nonsensical rules and processes. Working completely unsupervised is a plus, but it is offset by a complete lack of a typical office social network, which I have (usually) enjoyed in all my other jobs.

True, sometimes the balance seems to tip negatively - that bureaucracy and long-way-around way of doing things can grind a person down. But I have only nine months left to qualify for that pension benefit, and only around ten months to full Social Security retirement.

I will probably persevere at the job until at least the end of this year, when I might bridge the final month on leave rather than cash out my vacation. I'll let that decision go until then.
Having this choice is one of the things that makes me the luckiest person I know, and fills me with gratitude.

Food and Diet Section

Today's Weight:                   208.8 lbs

Previous Weight (3/13):           208.6 lbs

Day Net Loss/Gain:                + 0.2 lbs

Diet Comment

I ate badly over the weekend. Starting this week with a twelve-hour fast, and eating lightly after that.
 

Food Log

Breakfast
Skipped.

Lunch
A cocoa-hemp-kale protein shake (almond-coconut milk, kefir, kale, large organic egg, whey powder (36g protein), hemp seeds, hemp protein (7g protein), celery, raw organic cacao powder, fermented coconut water, chia gel, moringa leaf powder, cinnamon and stevia-inulin blend.

Snack 
Pepperoni and celery with home-made mayonnaise.

Dinner 

Cauliflower with Dal Tadka (lentil curry). Not shown: A Quest bar.

Liquid Intake
   Coffee:  28 oz.   Water: 86+ oz.  

Please leave a comment if you visit my blog. Thank you!

 

#1388, Friday, March 13: Tree, root, mind, blown.

Post 1388, Day 72 of 2015
- 1,533 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

Thinking again about time perception, and cause and effect. Our perception of time is a subjective matter - there is only one time, it is 'right now', the present, but our attachment to sense perception means that we are unaware of the present until it is past, and we are in a different present.

Of course, it's a continuum, but it also means there is only that one time - only the present. It is only the present where a thing happens. We must, to a degree, become unaware of things happening to appreciate the present, ever. This is the paradox: We may also become 'present' by focusing our awareness on things happening as they do.

So: Only one time, now. But then, what about cause and effect? The relationship between cause and effect is one that requires they happen at different times. First this, then that. Both can't happen at the same 'now' instant.

So, they are an illusion. One that in some instances, can seem backwards, if our view of time is as subjective (and wrong) as I think. Most effects have not one, but a complex network of causes.

Like the roots of a tree. We see an effect, and look at the causes, all the tiny events that had to happen to create that effect, each with its own network of causes to create it.

It's as though, instead of sending down roots, a tree grows up from the roots, root cause, tree effect.

Mind blown.

.

Food and Diet Section

Today's Weight:                   208.6 lbs

Previous Weight (3/12):           207.4 lbs

Day Net Loss/Gain:                + 1.2 lbs

Diet Comment

I ate badly yesterday. Funk'n'Waffles was next to a dinner gig I was playing, so I stopped in to say hello to friends. Since I wouldn't be eating until after my gig, I ordered a favorite as a snack. After the gig, and dinner, I went back and had a beer (while listening to a killer James Brown tribute band). Then, at home, late, the inevitable Quest bar. Sigh. Weight is up today, its highest this year.
 

Food Log

Breakfast
A Quest bar.

Lunch
At Ling-Ling's Chinese Buffet and Grill:

Brussels sprouts, kimchee, and, from the "Mongolian Grill", my go-to dish: pork and chicken with cabbage, onions, mushrooms, green peppers and broccoli. Not shown: Dessert Quest bar.

Snack 
A Quest bar.

Dinner 
Pepperoni and eggs and cole slaw.

Snack 
A Quest bar.

Liquid Intake
   Coffee:  28 oz.   Water: 114+ oz.  

Please leave a comment if you visit my blog. Thank you!

 

#1387, Thursday, March 12: More nothing

Post 1387, Day 71 of 2015
- 1,532 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

This is my second day, speechless.

Food and Diet Section

Today's Weight:                   207.4 lbs

Previous Weight (3/11):           206.6 lbs

Day Net Loss/Gain:                + 0.8 lbs

Diet Comment

The penalty for last night's bad behavior wasn't as bad as I thought. Today's another day, right?
 

Food Log

Breakfast
A cocoa-hemp-kale protein shake (almond-coconut milk, kefir, kale, large organic egg, whey powder (36g protein), hemp seeds, hemp protein (7g protein), celery, raw organic cacao powder, fermented coconut water, chia gel, moringa leaf powder, cinnamon and stevia-inulin blend.

Lunch

Roasted turkey breast chopped salad: baby kale, baby spinach, chard, cole slaw mix, black beans and balsamic vinaigrette.

Snack
At Funk'n'Waffles: 

Bootsy Brunch: 1/2 a bacon-stuffed waffle with two eggs and cheddar cheese.

Dinner 
At Small Plates: A quinoa and kale salad (with pomegranates and walnuts) and beef bruschetta (toast points not eaten).

Snack 
A Quest bar.

Liquid Intake
   Coffee:  36 oz.   Water: 84+ oz.  and a nut brown ale (no idea what brand).

Please leave a comment if you visit my blog. Thank you!

 

#1386, Wednesday, March 11: When you have nothing to say...

Post 1386, Day 70 of 2015
- 1,531 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

I really couldn't think of a topic to write about today, so I didn't.

Food and Diet Section

Today's Weight:                   206.6 lbs

Previous Weight (3/10):           207.8 lbs

Day Net Loss/Gain:                - 1.2 lbs

Diet Comment

Well, a little loss to counter the unaccountable gain of yesterday. Not quite enough. I fear tomorrow's weigh-in will not be pretty, given the way the day ended.
 

Food Log

Breakfast
Ezekiel 4:9 Flax sprouted grain toast with guacamole.

Lunch

Roasted turkey breast chopped salad: baby kale, baby spinach, chard, cole slaw mix, black beans and balsamic vinaigrette.

Snack 
Peppers, onions and eggs.

Dinner 
At Eskapes: 

A "BST Salad" with blackened salmon (BST is bacon, spinach and tomato). Not shown: A slice of Lemon Mascarpone cake.

Snack 
A Quest bar.

Liquid Intake
   Coffee:  36 oz.   Water: 114+ oz. A glass of Pinot Noir and a Sam Adams beer.  

Please leave a comment if you visit my blog. Thank you!

 

#1385, Tuesday, March 10: Missing the planning

Post 1385, Day 69 of 2015
- 1,530 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

I'm beginning to miss the idea of escaping the US on retirement.

As much as I try to avoid it, news keeps getting through to me. None of it is promising. All of it is fear-filled. A lot of it makes me think nobody but stupid people make news.

And all this news, regardless of the source, seems to indicate that the US is circling the drain.

And none of it, in my personal, day-to-day life, can be confirmed or disproven.

I recently read that whether Americans become Liberals or Conservatives isn't a matter of rational thought about politics and governance, but a matter of non-political personality factors. If you have grown up in fear, you're going to be Conservative, and cling to values you know (usually from your parents) and will resist change, whether or not that change favors you. Otherwise, you're going to be Liberal, and embrace change, whether or not the outcome of that change favors you.

I assume it applies to me. I believe in a safe Universe, and I try not to base any decisions on fear. Which puts me on the Liberal spectrum.

Except that I hate the yin-yang false political labels, and don't want to be politically involved at all.

Decision-making is influenced by so many factors we are unconscious of - consciousness processing being a small percentage of what influences our behavior, that change cannot be well-directed. I always think of it as an arrow shot in the dark - you hope it finds a target that will make things better, that's the direction you point it to, but realize that you don't know what change will be effected, and know even less about the consequences of change.

The influence of the 24-hour news cycle, accompanied by commercial consumerism means that I don't trust that the information, that I'm being manipulated, and driven further away from understanding, not towards it. 'News' needs to be avoided.

Information that conveys fear needs to be avoided. All the information that I get about living in the US makes it seem like it isn't a good place to live.

I used to have fun with my indefinitely postponed expatriation plans.

I miss that.

Food and Diet Section

Today's Weight:                   207.8 lbs

Previous Weight (3/9):            206.2 lbs

Day Net Loss/Gain:                + 1.6 lbs

Diet Comment

I'm surprised at this little bump up. Didn't see that coming yesterday.
 

Food Log

Breakfast
A cocoa-hemp-kale protein shake (almond-coconut milk, kefir, kale, large organic egg, whey powder (36g protein), hemp seeds, hemp protein (7g protein), celery, raw organic cacao powder, fermented coconut water, chia gel, moringa leaf powder, cinnamon and stevia-inulin blend.

Lunch

Eggs scrambled with baby kale, chard, spinach, peppers and onions, spicy tomato oil, and a side of bacon.

Snack 
A Quest bar.

Dinner 
Wild-caught salmon and cole slaw. And a Quest bar.

Snack 
A Quest bar.

Liquid Intake
   Coffee:  28 oz.   Water: 104+ oz.  

Please leave a comment if you visit my blog. Thank you!