#1449, Tuesday, June 16: Live forever.

Post 1449, Day 167 of 2015
- 1,628 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

In case you haven't heard, we're all going to die. At least in the conventional sense.

Life, as we know it, through our perceptions and our thoughts, will end.

I happen not to believe that that is an actual end of 'life' but that it continues, in some other way, or dimension, without (or with different) physical limitations.

Having come to this conclusion through thought, reasoning, near-death and out-of-body experiences, and also through study, I may be utterly wrong.

But I have, in my life, failed to come up with alternative theories; even the idea that death is final, no more consciousness, nothing physical, spiritual, intellectual after death, may be right, although if it is, so what?  And I don't think that is the case, either.

Death, administered by an anthropomorphic deity or deities? Nonsense. Heaven and Hell? I don't think so.

You have to look inward, to the source of all your perceptions, all your ideas to find anything like truth. You have to 'trust your gut', you have to decrease and eliminate thought, disregard your perceptions and be aware of the inner truth to get to any capital-T Truth.

That's the key to unlock your 'immortality', right there. It isn't that you live forever, it is that you accept the limitations of time and space, which are human constructs, are all you know, but not the whole story. 

All time is happening all the time. Now.

There's your immortality.

Food and Diet Section

Today's Weight:                   208.6 lbs

Previous Weight (6/15):           209.0 lbs

Day Net Loss/Gain:                - 0.4 lbs

Diet Comment

Normal day yesterday, back at the trend line today. Hopefully, tomorrow, won't be too bad, considering the late-night snacking.
 

Food Log

Breakfast
A cocoa-hemp-kale protein shake (almond-coconut milk, kefir, kale, large organic egg, whey powder (36g protein), hemp seeds, hemp protein (7g protein), raw organic cacao powder, fermented coconut water, chia gel, moringa leaf powder, cinnamon, celery and stevia-inulin blend.

Lunch

Salmon salad (Wild Alaska pink salmon, celery, mayonnaise) on baby kale, baby spinach, chard and cole slaw mix. Not shown: Shaved Parmesan cheese and balsamic vinaigrette added to the greens.

Snack
Two Quest bars, because I really like the new flavor, Mint Chocolate Chunk, which was just delivered at work.

Dinner
Actually, a series of snacks before, during and after rehearsal: Quest bars, celery with cheese and home-made mayonnaise.


Liquid Intake
   Coffee:  0 oz.   Water: 68+ oz.

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#1448, Monday, June 15: The funny side of personal projection

Post 1448, Day 166 of 2015
- 1,627 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

I wish I could manage people's perception of me. But I can't. (Hey, I heard you thinking, "Duh!" - come on, give me a break here!)

The reason why is simple enough: The majority of how people perceive me (and you - you're no different) is made up of the stuff in their head, with only a little room, and sometimes none, for what I think I'm putting out there.

And, if that weren't enough, what I think I'm putting out there is probably no more accurate than its perception by others, and for the same reason.

I think I'm funny, when I'm naive, or insulting, or obscure, or just not funny. I think I'm cool, when I'm just aloof. I think I dress well, when I am just stereotypically out-of-fashion.

This dichotomy is the source of a lot of mirth to me. I laugh at myself whenever someone's perception of me is at odds with how I perceive myself, because we're both equally wrong.

Also funny, maybe even funnier, is when people assume they know how I think.

I'm waiting (patiently) for the time when that isn't downright hilarious.

Food and Diet Section

Today's Weight:                   209.0 lbs

Previous Weight (6/12):           209.8 lbs

Day Net Loss/Gain:                - 0.8 lbs

Diet Comment

Spent the weekend eating all kinds of wonderful stuff - little of it on-plan, but didn't pay a price. Woo-hoo!
 

Food Log

Breakfast
A Quest bar.

Lunch

Feta-and-spinach chicken sausage with scrambled eggs with onions and peppers and cottage cheese.

Snack
From Core: Beef bone broth. Then, a Quest bar.

Dinner
Sauteed chicken breast on mixed salad with blue cheese dressing and a Quest bar.

Snack
A Quest bar.

Liquid Intake
   Coffee:  28 oz.   Water: 96+ oz.

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#1447, Friday, June 12: Winning music strategy.

Post 1447, Day 163 of 2015
- 1,624 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

Not much on my mind today. No gigs this weekend, but beginning tonight, many of my local friends' are having great gigs that I want to attend.

This is how I choose to do music these days. I'm not much of a recorded music listener any more - I'm not trying to stay current, I typically only listen to songs I have to learn for performing purposes. sprinkled with road trip music on the radio.

A series of concerts in big venues by national touring bands has soured me on going to premium shows in marquee venues.

Finally, it has been many years since I've enjoyed any outdoor music festival. Partly this is due to wanting more physical comfort, partly due to not finding much common ground with the rest of the audience, and partly because these festivals generally have a very small number of bands I enjoy. 

I know I am missing out on the opportunity to discover new music, but that isn't anything I look to do these days, anyway. I am more than happy to let the local scene take care of the need for new stuff.

Seeing the friends I've made in the local music scene perform is more than enough for me. To tell the truth, I'd rather be on the stage than in the audience, but I get a kick out of bands that perform so well, I want to play with them (even though I would never try to replace another bass player - I'm just saying I get excited enough by the music to want to participate).

And the local scene is full of excellent musicians and bands, in every (and any) genre. And they really appreciate when another musician shows up to give a little support (as do I, when they come to see me).

Everybody wins, except those don't care.

Food and Diet Section

Today's Weight:                   209.8 lbs

Previous Weight (6/10):           209.2 lbs

Day Net Loss/Gain:                + 0.6 lbs

Diet Comment

Ugh! Too many Quest bars, too late at night.
 

Food Log

Breakfast
A Quest bar.

Lunch

Salmon salad (Wild Alaska pink salmon, celery, mayonnaise) on baby kale, baby spinach, chard and cole slaw mix. Not shown in this picture: Some shaved Parmesan cheese, and balsamic vinaigrette added to the greens.

Snack
A Quest bar.

Dinner
Scrambled eggs, a salmon-burger with guacamole.

Snack
Bacon.

Snack
A Quest bar, and a handful of mixed nuts.

Liquid Intake
   Coffee:  28 oz.   Water: 116+ oz.

Please leave a comment if you visit my blog. Thank you!

 

#1446, Thursday, June 11: Alone food

Post 1446, Day 162 of 2015
- 1,623 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

I've been taking advantage of the opportunity to eat with friends recently, including lunch and dinner yesterday and lunch today. It's a nice change for me, since I mostly eat alone in my apartment or at work.

In fact, while I don't necessarily prefer to be alone (and I know that eating alone gets a bad rap in medical and psychological circles, as well as being considered anti-social), I don't mind it. But I still jump at the opportunity to break bread with friends and family.

Its rarity makes it that much more exciting and desirable.

I don't even have a dining room table at home - I eat off a tray sitting in my recliner in front of the TV. Sometimes I watch, sometimes I don't. I know it sounds a little 'Single Guy' lonely. When I wrote it just now, it seemed a little sad. But that isn't the way I feel about it at all. It's no big deal to me.

Its a choice, partly made because I would rather prepare my own food than eat at (most) restaurants. I like choosing my own menu and my own ingredients.

But the new restaurant, Core, that ate lunch at yesterday and today kind of makes the point moot. From their grass-fed beef to offering quinoa as a grain choice, and using local, renewable, sustainably grown, non-GMO, pastured and/or organic food, freshly cooked (when cooking is involved), they are sourcing the way I like to (in fact, they brought in pallets of locally grown vegetables (the farm truck was double-parked outside my window-seat) while my friend and I were eating today.

And they put the ingredients (single ingredients except for some mixed greens) together right in front of you. Very little advanced prep. Just like home.

And the staff are friendly and happy - there's no tipping, everybody is paid well above minimum wage.

All this and not any more expensive than any other local place I've eaten lunch at, and less expensive than trying to put together some similar concoction at the salad bar at Wegman's.
So, maybe, thanks to >Core, which also has the virtue of being 5 minutes from my apartment, 5 minutes from work, I will change my solo dining habits.

Food and Diet Section

Today's Weight:                   209.2 lbs

Previous Weight (6/10):           206.6 lbs

Day Net Loss/Gain:                + 2.6 lbs

Diet Comment

Ouch! I don't know why my weight shot up. Outside of a shot of Jameson's and a late-night, high-calorie, but low-carb snack, I can't account for it. Normal variation? Return to mean? Ouch!
 

Food Log

Breakfast
A Quest bar.

Lunch
At Core: Spicy chicken and ancient grains: quinoa and faro blend, grilled "free bird" chicken, sriracha, kale, broccoli, carrots, raw beets, scallions, (black beans and bacon added) with cilantro jalapeno dressing and a cup of chicken bone broth. Sorry to not have taken a picture - I was just too hungry!

Snack
A Quest bar.

Dinner
Pepperoni and cole slaw and a Quest bar.

Snack
Quest bars.

Liquid Intake
   Coffee:  28 oz.   Water: 102+ oz.

Please leave a comment if you visit my blog. Thank you!

 

#1445, Wednesday, June 10: Musical be-here-now

Post 1445, Day 161 of 2015
- 1,622 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

Light load today. Still tired, though. Still have commitments after work. Still happy. Still grateful.

Although I was challenged by yesterday's rehearsal, at which nothing really got done, and there wasn't even much playing. At one point, I, quite rudely, started playing Sudoku on my iPad. I was bored and frustrated.

I also looked at my summer gigging schedule and, to my dismay, I don't have much booked July and August. Last year I was incredibly busy during the season.

I wish I could split the difference. Still, it is forward-looking, and that means I have no idea how it will turn out. It sure isn't the same as enjoying what's going on right now. (Well, I'm at work, not much to 'enjoy', but I'm at ease, at peace and mindful of what is going on right now). So all is good.

Of course, whenever you're able to be aware in the moment, things are good.

And, while, as has been pointed out, joy and happiness are two different things, they aren't completely unrelated, and there isn't a good reason I can think of why you can't be happy and joyful at the same time. That's the basis of my life here in Syracuse.

Playing accesses the joy of my life for me, brings me right into the moment, the non-thinking, non-caring total-participation state in now.

That I can access that, and do it in a social context like a band or a jam, makes me happy. I do what I perceive I need to, to make those times happen.

I'm grateful that they happen a lot.

Food and Diet Section

Today's Weight:                   206.6 lbs

Previous Weight (6/9):            207.2 lbs

Day Net Loss/Gain:                - 0.6 lbs

Diet Comment

Ongoing post-weekend correction. Nothing more.
 

Food Log

Breakfast
A Quest bar.

Lunch
At Core:

Chicken Cobb salad (shredded kale and romaine, grilled chicken, avocado, bacon, hard-cooked egg, bleu cheese dressing). Not shown: A cup of Hearty (beef and pork) bone broth.

Snack
A Quest bar.

Dinner
Grilled pork loin, grilled zucchini and peppers, and a salad of kale, chard, spinach, cabbage and shaved parmesan with balsamic vinaigrette.

Snack
Pepperoni.

Liquid Intake
   Coffee:  28 oz.   Water: 100+ oz. and a shot of Jameson's Irish whiskey

Please leave a comment if you visit my blog. Thank you!

 

#1444, Tuesday, June 9: Miscellany

Post 1444, Day 160 of 2015
- 1,621 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

Oh, what a day! Busy-busy at work, then i am Fool rehearsal after.

Then I was too tired for an open mic.

Apropos of nothing, (because I really like saying that), I have been meditating daily for the last week. I'm not sure I could have gotten through the weekend otherwise.

The benefits of meditatinG are well-known, and at the pace I run at, I need those benefits. Plus, it makes me feel good.

From the Dept of Coincidence: Over the weekend, organizing a photo album on my new computer, I chanced upon a 20-year old 'album' of jpeg pictures I took of Alex and his friend TJ at the North Carolina Zoo. There were a couple of pictures of me (taken by the 9-yo Alex) on it.

I didn't like the way I looked at all (mustache). I will never have a mustache (only) again. I think.

Anyway, I was talking to Alex yesterday and he asked if I remembered TJ. Turns out, after they went their separate ways in different Middle Schools and lost touch, TJ just moved to LA, and now they're hanging out again.

I sent him the album.

And yes, this came within spitting distance of being a 'Nothing to say today' post.

Food and Diet Section

Today's Weight:                   207.2 lbs

Previous Weight (6/8):            209.0 lbs

Day Net Loss/Gain:                - 1.8 lbs

Diet Comment

Nice snapback - although I think that actually started Sunday - I'm guessing my weight was down from Saturday, then. Continuing today.
 

Food Log

Breakfast
A Quest bar.

Lunch
A cocoa-hemp-kale protein shake (almond-coconut milk, kefir, kale, large organic egg, whey powder (36g protein), hemp seeds, hemp protein (7g protein), raw organic cacao powder, fermented coconut water, chia gel, moringa leaf powder, cinnamon, celery and stevia-inulin blend.

Snack
A Quest bar.

Dinner
A cheeseburger and cole slaw.

Snack
Pepperoni.

Liquid Intake
   Coffee:  28 oz.   Water: 80+ oz.

Please leave a comment if you visit my blog. Thank you!

 

#1443, Monday, June 8: The joy of cooking (musically)

Post 1443, Day 159 of 2015
- 1,620 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

Heavy weekend playing schedule is now behind me. I did debut a new song in the acoustic-vocal set I did at the open mic that stiffed me last Sunday: "Waiting For a Friend". It was a big hit.

All three of my gigs went very well, from a playing perspective. What that means is that I was, for the most part, able to get into the 'zone', where I'm playing with joy, and without thought or artifice. That is the thing I look for when I play these days. It is the major contributor to my current happiness.

It motivates me like nothing else! Sometimes, I have an 'out-of-body' experience when I'm in that zone. I look down at my bass, not to control my playing, but to see, visually, what I'm doing! It has that semi-conscious awareness that feels like I'm not doing anything but am completely involved. I'm looking with curiosity to see what's going on.

Crazy stuff, and I love it!

While two of the gigs had great numbers, as far as audience, the last of these joyful gigs was very poorly attended - about as bad as any gig I have ever played. I am very proud that the band turned in a very good performance for the few who were there.

That last gig started at nine-thirty Saturday evening, after a day spent recovering from the work-plus-back-to-back-gigs Friday, and ended at two o'clock Sunday morning, and I didn't get to bed until after three!

Sunday recovery time from that wasn't as bad as I thought, although I allowed for plenty on both Saturday and Sunday.

Then, Sunday evening, I went out for more playing. I didn't hit my stride until about nine Sunday night - then I played my acoustic set at one open mic, and played bass for a couple of really fun sets at a different open mic after that.

That's a lot of joy.

Food and Diet Section

Today's Weight:                   209.0 lbs

Previous Weight (6/5):            206.4 lbs

Day Net Loss/Gain:                + 2.6 lbs

Diet Comment

I think all the weekend's damage was done Friday night/early Saturday morning, but, well, there you are. It's a new week, I can bring the weight down.
 

Food Log

Breakfast
A cocoa-hemp-kale protein shake (almond-coconut milk, kefir, kale, large organic egg, whey powder (36g protein), hemp seeds, hemp protein (7g protein), raw organic cacao powder, fermented coconut water, chia gel, moringa leaf powder, cinnamon, celery and stevia-inulin blend.

Lunch
A Quest bar.

Snack
At Core: A cup of Hearty (beef-pork) bone broth.

Dinner
A cheeseburger on Ezekiel 4:9 Flax bread with guacamole and a kale, spinach, chard and cabbage salad with balsamic vinaigrette and a Quest bar for dessert.

Snack
Pepperoni.

Liquid Intake
   Coffee:  28 oz.   Water: 80+ oz.

Please leave a comment if you visit my blog. Thank you!

 

#1442, Friday, June 5: Vice-versa oneness

Post 1442, Day 156 of 2015
- 1,617 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

Here's the thing about non-duality: It is difficult to communicate. Because of the whole transmitter/receiver thing needed for communications.

If I say, "All is one", who am I saying it to? If it's true, it doesn't need to be said.

That said (ha-ha) I believe it is true, and the difficulty is kind of like when you lose your keys in your house. You know they're in the house, you had to unlock the door to get in, so they aren't really lost, you've forgotten where you left them (they're in your pocket).

Similarly, it is as though we've forgotten, in a deep way, that we are all one with everything (insert Buddhist priest/hot dog vendor joke). We are all one, we've just forgotten it, and we aren't used to thinking that way.

Or living as though that were true. And its a chicken-and-egg deal: If we thought that way, we could live that way, and it would be our reality, but first we'd have to change the way we live so we could think that way.

Or vice-versa.

Food and Diet Section

Today's Weight:                   206.4 lbs

Previous Weight (6/4):            209.0 lbs

Day Net Loss/Gain:                - 2.6 lbs

Diet Comment

Okay - net loss for the week, which I undid, no doubt, in a drunken feeding frenzy after going straight from work to a gig, then straight to another gig, with no time for a real meal until after midnight, when I was out-of-control tired and hungry.
 

Food Log

Breakfast
A Quest bar.

Lunch
Scrambled eggs and bacon on Ezekiel 4:9 Sesame toast with grilled cheese, and a mixed salad with balsamic vinaigrette.

Dinner
A couple of Quest bars.

Post-gig Snack
At Denny's: A Philly cheesesteak omelet with rye toast and hash browns, and a cinnamon ice cream sundae for dessert.

Liquid Intake
   Coffee:  40 oz.   Water: 92+ oz. plus 2 shots of Jameson's 

Please leave a comment if you visit my blog. Thank you!

 

#1441, Thursday, June 4: Lazy and efficient

Post 1441, Day 155 of 2015
- 1,616 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

The main thing about Cheaper By the Dozen (the book, and the first movie version) that I remember is the father, a world-renowned, pioneering efficiency expert, giving efficiency lectures to his family, insisting everything be done with the least effort possible.

It made a huge impression on me. Even as a youngster, I didn't want to work one joule harder than I had to - at anything.

That amounts to avoiding all unnecessary work, and this is where things get tricky. Some things lend themselves to this, and the experience is improved. Others, not so much.

Recently, another bass player's girlfriend told us that I make bass playing look easy. Which, the way I do it, it is, but it looks like that because I don't jump around stage, or flail with the fingers of either hand. My movements are, for the most part, the minimum it takes to get the job done, without melodramatic expressions to convey reaching deep into my soul to pull out the bass parts I play. 

My right (plucking hand) frequently looks to the audience as though it is motionless.

On the other hand, the same 'logic' is the reason my apartment is such a mess. No little thing 'needs' to be cleaned up right away. But the little messes accumulate into a big one.

There's probably a golden mean, or a better perspective to deal with that, like seeing that it is more efficient to clean as you go than turn it into a big, laborious job. But, for whatever reason, I don't perceive it like that.

I'm just too freakin' lazy.

Food and Diet Section

Today's Weight:                   209.0 lbs

Previous Weight (6/3):            207.6 lbs

Day Net Loss/Gain:                + 1.4 lbs

Diet Comment

It sure is fun gaining 3 pounds in 2 days. Time to put on the brakes.
 

Food Log

Breakfast
A cocoa-hemp-kale protein shake (almond-coconut milk, kefir, kale, large organic egg, whey powder (36g protein), hemp seeds, hemp protein (7g protein), raw organic cacao powder, fermented coconut water, chia gel, moringa leaf powder, cinnamon, celery and stevia-inulin blend.

Lunch

Tuna salad and baby kale, baby spinach, chard and cole slaw mix. Not shown: A Quest bar for dessert.

Snack
A cup of Hearty (beef and pork) bone broth from Core.

Dinner
A couple of Quest bars.

Liquid Intake
   Coffee:  28 oz.   Water: 72+ oz. 

Please leave a comment if you visit my blog. Thank you!

 

#1440, Wednesday, June 3: Imagining retirement(s)

Post 1440, Day 154 of 2015
- 1,615 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

Not too long ago, I had different retirement plans than I do now. This insight comes as I have just hit the minus-six-month mark to my fifth anniversary at the VA, at which point I qualify for a (small) pension.

The old plan was, upon reaching my sixty-sixth birthday, which happens seven-and-a-half weeks later, to embark on a 'farewell' tour visiting friends around the country, ending up in LA, and embarking on a quest to find a new home in Southeast Asia or South America. The idea being to keep relocating every 3 months until I found a place inviting enough to settle into.

Sometime around last Thanksgiving, I realized I didn't want to give up the good thing I have going for me right here in Syracuse. I'm having a lot of fun now, and feel good about my life. It was crazy to look for something on a grass-is-greener basis, as such.

I have no qualms about changing plans. Planning is a joke. It is based on expectations about the future, and nobody - especially me - can see the future clearly. Plus, the original plan was partly fear-based, and I don't like doing anything on that basis.

Social Security, IBM and VA pensions give me a reasonable, above-the-poverty-line income. That, however, doesn't seem to be enough to support my lifestyle in the US, but will suffice easily in many other places in the world. As long as I can make a little extra as a musician, though, I'm fine right here. That playing music also brings me great joy and social opportunities is an amazing blessing. I can't think of anything better anywhere else.

When the music stops, so to speak, it's time to put the original retirement plan back into action, assuming I'm able, from a physical/medical point-of-view, to go forward at that point.

The idea of uprooting and moving to a different place with a different culture is very attractive to me, but it is just a concept until I check it out for myself. What a wonderful life I have that this is even a possibility. I'm very thankful for the way this has all worked out.

Especially considering my role, for the most part, was just to imagine it.

Food and Diet Section

Today's Weight:                   207.6 lbs

Previous Weight (6/2):            206.0 lbs

Day Net Loss/Gain:                + 1.6 lbs

Diet Comment

Up-down-up, so my weight goes. At least, it isn't all the way up, and is under the trend line. Then, a great time at a gig, and an after-gig visit to an open mic and a great jam contributed appreciative alcohol to the mix. Uh-oh.
 

Food Log

Breakfast
A Quest bar.

Lunch
At CORE: Chicken bone broth (organic) with kale, quinoa, black beans, parmesan cheese, carrots, celery and scallions. Sorry - it looked so good, I ate more than half before I even thought about taking a picture.

Snack
Pepperoni.

Dinner

At Eskapes:

A Chipotle burger (ground beef, bacon, cheddar cheese, chipotle mayonnaise) with a mixed salad with ranch dressing. Not shown: Chocolate chip cookie for dessert.

Snack
A Quest bar.

Liquid Intake
   Coffee:  28 oz.   Water: 106+ oz. A glass of Pinot Noir, a shot of Jameson's

Please leave a comment if you visit my blog. Thank you!