June 19

Post 864, Day 169 of 2013
- and 900 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

Why am I fat again?

First off, props to my brother for noticing, and calling it (correctly) on my last visit. 

Of course, I know the overarching reason why I have put on more than ten pounds since the end of 2012, and why I'm fifteen pounds heavier than my lowest recent weight, reached in 2011. I am eating differently.

I even know exactly which ways I'm eating differently. So I know how to fix the problem. But that is both an incomplete answer, and because of that, a superficial solution.

The re-phrased proper question is, "Why am I eating in a way that makes me fat?".

Much harder to answer.

One reason, for certain, is that I'm more bored at work, and busier after work, which means I stay up later, which means I am awake four, five, or six hours after eating dinner. So I get hungry late at night. Humans are 'programmed' or at least, predisposed to eat if they are up late.

Another reason is that I am missing the movement component - body movement that conditions the cells to use fat for fuel - and helps regulate our whole metabolism.

And yet another reason is that I still get emotional about eating.

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 Food and Diet Section

Today's Weight:         213.0 lbs

Yesterday's Weight:     210.8 lbs

Day Net Loss/Gain:      + 2.2 lbs

Diet Comment

I guess cheese is really not my friend. Despite yesterday's large quantity of food, it was all on-plan... except for cheese. I am despairing. I need to go back to basics. That means cutting out a lot of food that has become 'normal' for me: chia and hemp seeds, home-made mayonnaise, protein bars, maybe even protein powder. I have a lot of stock to get through first. That means, I have to be careful.

Food Log 

Breakfast

Skipped.

Lunch
At Ling-Ling's Chinese Buffet and Grill:

Brussels sprouts, kimchee, and, from the "Mongolian Grill", my go-to dish, pork and chicken with cabbage, onions, mushrooms, green peppers and broccoli.

Dinner

Italian-style chicken sausage with sausage and peppers on coconut Paleo bread with cole slaw with a Spring Mix, cole slaw mix, feta cheese, black beans and balsamic vinaigrette salad.

Snack
Feta cheese. A protein bar. Hard-boiled eggs and home-made mayonnaise.

Liquid Intake   

   Coffee:  28 oz.   Water:  120+ oz.

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June 18

Post 863, Day 168 of 2013
- and 899 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

On his birthday, I'm thinking about Paul McCartney.

When I first saw the Beatles perform (on Ed Sullivan), I had no idea which one of the four he was. For that matter, at that time, I didn't know what a bass guitar was. At age 14, I had never thought critically about music, or informed myself about how popular music was made.

I didn't know one thing about electric instruments - until that point I didn't care. I didn't spend much time listening to rock or pop music at all. In my house, it was all classical or Broadway show tunes.

I initially mixed up Paul with John. From their live appearances, with the camera on screaming girls half the time, I couldn't tell who was who, who was playing what (except, everybody knew Ringo). I proudly imitated the rhythm guitar part on 'All My Loving' and announced I had mastered "Paul's strum".

Slowly, I began to become more knowledgable, about who did what with the Beatles, about bands, about electric instruments - and about music.

Thing was, I didn't think much of Paul as a musician. He was a good songwriter, a good singer (especially when he was imitating Little Richard). And he was the 'prettiest' Beatle. In fact, he was my least favorite, mostly because I wasn't impressed with the bass on Beatles songs, and because he seemed to be getting attention bigger than his contributions. What did I know? I was 14. I didn't know anything about anything. 

Soul music is where I got my information about bass. Motown had the best and most outstanding bass. 

Then came Revolver and Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band. The bass on those records (particularly Sgt. Pepper) was different. It sounded a lot more like Motown, but also had a melodicism even beyond that. And also, by the time Pepper hit, I was playing bass myself. Badly. 

I had to admit I was wrong about Paul. Notwithstanding whatever actually happened with the Beatles, and the fact that almost none of his music since their breakup has captured my attention (except negatively), I still hear amazing things in his older work. Spectacular bass playing, spectacular bass lines.

Now, Sir Paul has my respect in every way. His bass playing of 45 years ago remains (to me, at least) the gold standard in rock bass-playing. Among a lot of excellent bass-players I've come to appreciate since I first took up a bass in 1966, in the rock idiom, he's at the pinnacle.

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 Food and Diet Section

2013 daily weight

Today's Weight:         210.8 lbs

Yesterday's Weight:     211.8 lbs

Day Net Loss/Gain:      - 1.0 lbs

Diet Comment

A step in the right direction. I can't help but think it would have been a bigger step if I had finished eating before 8pm instead of before midnight. Not that today is any better, with a dinner-size feeding at midnight...

Food Log 

Breakfast

Cocoa-kale-hemp-chia protein shake: Almond milk, kale, cocoa, hemp seeds, chia seeds, a large egg, vanilla whey powder (24g protein), cinnamon, vanilla, psyllium and stevia-inulin blend.

Lunch

Salmon and black bean salad on Spring mix with cole slaw mix and tomatoes.

Dinner

Turkey burgers with feta cheese and pepper, cole slaw and brocolli with lentils and feta cheese.

Snack
Lentil and feta cheese salad with balsamic vinaigrette. A protein bar for dessert.

Liquid Intake   

   Coffee:  22 oz.   Water:  128+ oz.

Please leave a comment if you visit my blog. Thank you!

 

June 17

Post 862, Day 167 of 2013
- and 898 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

Is all life a gamble? Yes. What does that mean?

An interesting, and a little disturbing conversation this weekend has me thinking about the concept of life, of existence, as a gamble. The discussion of gambling was sparked by my not buying into the idea that my investments were a gamble. I didn't see it.

The very fact that I took exception to it is probably an indication that it is true, and the truth that it is gambling creates discomfort in my mind. Why? As was pointed out in the dialog, I cannot control whether I profit or lose money with my investments. I am betting against losing, justifying the bet by the historical fact that over any long-term (ten years) period, there hasn't been a loss in the general market. There have been a couple of periods, beginning with investing right before a major market hit, that have taken 10 years to come back, and were barely profitable, but there hasn't been a loss.

As unlikely as it may be, there is an outside possibility that in my lifetime, the companies whose stocks I'm invested in could all go out of business. By having a geographically and industrially diverse portfolio, I've minimized that risk (spread the risk, rather than hedged, which would mean having a counter-investment that would gain if the position lost), and I'm comfortable with the idea that if every one of my stocks went to a value of zero, it wouldn't matter - that's the end of the US monetary system, and it's back to the land. Hopefully, being overseas, I will be in a better position to survive that than if I were in an American city, but there it is: The end of life as I know it.

Also, barring that apocalyptic scenario, I am not depending on my investments for survival. As long as the US government is solvent, and paying social security and my VA pension, I have enough to live on - outside the US, where the cost of maintaining a decent standard of living is less expensive. So even a loss doesn't "hurt," although having a small (but hopefully, growing) nest egg is a comfort. A comfort, but not a necessity.

Back to the concept of my investment as a gamble, and why I am so uncomfortable thinking about it that way. I am afraid I would be emotionally paralyzed if I analyzed all of life - down to the cellular level - as a gamble in the same fashion. Because we gamble every instant of every day. 

Maintaining the illusion of duality is the metaphysical equivalent of infinite coin-tosses, each one assuming there will be a next - the idea of individual survival. Will the next cell-division, or cell-death (the opposites of birth and death) be the final straw that ensures survival or guarantees the end of the organism?

I choose not to dwell on that. I choose not to think of my choices as the gamble they always are. There doesn't seem any way of turning that kind of thinking into a positive to me. And not being positive seems to be the wrong attitude to have when dealing with life.

Of course, I could be wrong about that.

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 Food and Diet Section

2013 daily weight

Today's Weight:         211.8 lbs

Yesterday's Weight:     211.0 lbs

Day Net Loss/Gain:      + 0.8 lbs

Diet Comment

Yesterday's fast didn't stop the weight gain, did it? No.

Food Log 

Breakfast

Cocoa-kale-hemp-chia protein shake: Almond milk, kale, cocoa, hemp seeds, chia seeds, a large egg, vanilla whey powder (24g protein), cinnamon, vanilla, psyllium and stevia-inulin blend.

Lunch

Spring mix with cole slaw mix, tomatoes and balsamic vinaigrette.

Dinner
A protein bar. Lentils and cole slaw.

Snack
Hard-boiled eggs with home-made mayonnaise and guacamole.

Liquid Intake   

   Coffee:  22 oz.   Water:  112+ oz.

Please leave a comment if you visit my blog. Thank you!

 

June 16

Post 861, Day 166 of 2013
- and 897 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

Wiped out. Between the driving (three hours round trip) and six hours in the sun (almost no shade; thank goodness somebody had some sunscreen), I just got overtired.

Didn't do a damn thing today except talk with Alex on the phone and post a few things on Facebook.

I'm leaving the pic from yesterday up, just for the hell of it.

June 15,2013 at the Vermont Reggae Festival with Chyna Nicole, Mike Shapiro (drummer, front left), Fitzroy Francis (front right). Jason (unknown last name, keyboards, behind Mike), Frank Stepanek (Grammy, Black Uhuru, guitar, behind Fitz).

Please leave a comment if you visit my blog. Thank you!

 Food and Diet Section

2013 daily weight

Today's Weight:         211.0 lbs

Yesterday's Weight:     210.0 lbs

Day Net Loss/Gain:      + 1.0 lbs

Diet Comment

A fast today after yesterday's too-tired-to-think late-night binge.

Food Log 

Breakfast

Skipped.

Lunch
Skipped.

Dinner
Skipped.

Snack
Protein bar.

Liquid Intake   

   Coffee:  0 oz.   Water:  48+ oz.

Please leave a comment if you visit my blog. Thank you!

 

June 15

Post 860, Day 165 of 2013
- and 896 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

A busy weekend is afoot, beginning today, with a gig for the non-profit, women's health-centered cafe in the village center near where I live. 

This is a two-man show. Immediately following that pleasant time, I have to run to a rehearsal for Saturday's appearance, where I'm backing up a Jamaican-born New York City singer, Chyna Nicole, at the Vermont Reggae Festival outside of Rochester, NY.

This is a happy dream gig for me. A big (weather permitting), happy and enthusiastic audience, and I get to play reggae with some top pros I know (they asked me! They like me!).

All this comes without my making an effort, except to cooperate with any opportunity to be available for... any opportunity.

I put myself out there, and these kinds of happy events... manifest.

Well, they happen. All I do is say, "Yes." And, of course, show up.

June 15,2013 at the Vermont Reggae Festival with Chyna Nicole, Mike Shapiro (drummer, front left), Fitzroy Francis (front right). Jason (unknown last name, keyboards, behind Mike), Frank Stepanek (Grammy, Black Uhuru, guitar, behind Fitz).

Please leave a comment if you visit my blog. Thank you!

 Food and Diet Section

2013 daily weight

Today's Weight:         210.0 lbs

Yesterday's Weight:     211.2 lbs

Day Net Loss/Gain:      - 1.2 lbs

Diet Comment

At last - a little progress in the right direction. Or am I being too patient.

Food Log 

Breakfast

Ezekiel Golden Flax sprouted grain cereal with blueberries, chia seeds, hemp seeds, almond milk and stevia-inulin.

Lunch
A slice of gas station pizza.

Dinner
At Sahota Palace. Indian buffet. Lots of vegetarian dishes, a few chicken dishes. Dessert.

Snack
Reese's Peanut Butter Cups and a pint of New York Chunk.

Liquid Intake   

   Coffee:  20 oz.   Water:  128+ oz.

Please leave a comment if you visit my blog. Thank you!

 

June 14

Post 859, Day 164 of 2013
- and 895 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

A busy weekend is afoot, beginning today, with a gig for the non-profit, women's health-centered cafe in the village center near where I live. 

This is a two-man show. Immediately following that pleasant time, I have to run to a rehearsal for Saturday's appearance, where I'm backing up a Jamaican-born New York City singer, Chyna Nicole, at the Vermont Reggae Festival outside of Rochester, NY.

This is a happy dream gig for me. A big (weather permitting), happy and enthusiastic audience, and I get to play reggae with some top pros I know (they asked me! They like me!).

All this comes without my making an effort, except to cooperate with any opportunity to be available for... any opportunity.

I put myself out there, and these kinds of happy events... manifest.

Well, they happen. All I do is say, "Yes." And, of course, show up.

Please leave a comment if you visit my blog. Thank you!

 Food and Diet Section

2013 daily weight

Today's Weight:         211.2 lbs

Yesterday's Weight:     211.2 lbs

Day Net Loss/Gain:      + 0.0 lbs

Diet Comment

Another day at the same weight! I'm pretty sure that's a record, but I really do wish it was about 10 pounds lower.

Food Log 

Breakfast

Skipped.

Lunch
Skipped.

Dinner
Cocoa-kale-hemp-chia protein shake: Almond milk, kale, cocoa, hemp seeds, chia seeds, a large egg, vanilla whey powder (24g protein), cinnamon, vanilla, psyllium and stevia-inulin blend.

Snack
Protein bar.

Liquid Intake   

   Coffee:  22 oz.   Water:  124+ oz.

Please leave a comment if you visit my blog. Thank you!

 

June 13

Post 858, Day 163 of 2013
- and 894 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

Another thing that Facebook is good for - jogging memory.

Today's little dive into the memory-net came when someone posted a youTube video of one of the famous Todd Rundgren songs from Something/Anything. Which is a good album.

My very favorite Todd Rundgren album is a 1971 album he made at Bearsville Studios (in the greater Woodstock, NY area) when he was fronting the band Runt (with Soupy Sales' kids). It is called The Ballad of Todd Rundgren. It is a master-class in pop songwriting, with songs good enough to become standards in the Great American Songbook.

At the time I discovered this album, I was selling jewelry all over the East Coast, and visiting my friend Barbra in Philadelphia (also the exact time I met Jon Oates of Hall and Oates, but that's another story). 

I think it might have been the first time I was knocked out by an album-ful of songs, appreciated for the quality of the songwriting. Other albums of great songs by the Beatles, Who, Stones were focused on the band, the performances; the songs themselves were vehicles. Of course, everybody realized they were great songs, but it was the performance that sold the song.

The performances on The Ballad of Todd Rundgren are, yes, very good. But somehow, for 21-year-old me, it was the song-craft that jumped out.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qvLzOv_pKEg&list=ALBTKoXRg38BANVegqpLDPiBUi9Mg0B93R

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 Food and Diet Section

2013 daily weight

Today's Weight:         211.2 lbs

Yesterday's Weight:     211.2 lbs

Day Net Loss/Gain:      + 0.0 lbs

Diet Comment

I don't know. Yesterday ended with some great off-plan eating. But fourteen of the last eighteen days my weight was over 210 pounds. All of the last nineteen days have been over 208 pounds. And this is the 4th time in the last 5 days I weighed 211.2 pounds. Number of days below 202 pounds in 2013? One. I've said it before, but it looks like just saying it isn't helping: I have to get serious about my eating. 

Beginning this Sunday. Today was a diet disaster (and tomorrow and Saturday probably will be, too). 

Also, I have to get rid of some food items, which are healthy and not off-plan but not conducive to weight-loss: protein powder, protein bars, hemp seeds, chia seeds, Paleo bread. That will take a few weeks, and I will have to be extra vigilant until they're gone.

Food Log 

Breakfast

Scrambled eggs, black beans, spinach and hemp seeds with salsa and coconut Paleo bread.

Lunch

Roasted turkey breast on Spring Mix, baby spinach and cole slaw mix with balsamic vinaigrette. Not shown: Protein-and-fiber cookie for dessert.

Snack
Protein bar. I bought a couple of boxes of these, because they don't contain anything off-plan. They're ok. Lots of protein and fiber, and they don't taste awful. These are going to appear often in the next few weeks. 

Dinner
Italian meats (mortadella and pepperoni) with cole slaw and lentil salad.

Snack
A candy bar. This was sort of an accident. I thought it was a chocolate-covered cookie (I was out at an open mic, it was dark, it was offered by a very attractive woman). Later, at home (very late): Hard-boiled eggs and home-made mayonnaise.

Liquid Intake   

   Coffee:  28 oz.   Water:  120+ oz.

Please leave a comment if you visit my blog. Thank you!

 

June 12

Post 857, Day 162 of 2013
- and 893 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

I think I've discovered my true talent as a musician, and it isn't musical, at least, not in a sense.

My talent is my ability to recognize the other 'right.' What I mean is, to see that someone else being right doesn't make me wrong. I don't live or play a zero-sum game.

I don't believe in an absolute truth. I don't assume my beliefs are universal. I am willing to change my mind, and willing to not get me way.

I am, admittedly, less willing not to be heard. I have a deep desire to have my point heard. Sometimes I have to remind myself that my views on a thing aren't more valid or important than anyone else's, and restrain myself from interrupting. Sometimes I fail at this. But I'm always improving. 

One thing I used to do that I've stopped doing, is to try to drown out interruptions. Now I wait, and think to myself, how good it is to feel heard when I finally have the attention focused on me. This was tough for me, as my ADD nature tends to lead me to interrupt others with my thoughts, and to raise my voice to drown out interruptions. I've (almost) completely gotten over the latter, and I'm constantly working on the former.

This came to me during last night's i am Fool rehearsal. There was a disagreement over how a unison line should be played. I waited my turn to show how it should be played, discussed, calmly, my ideas about the underlying chord and rhythm structure, and then let someone else decide how it would be done. Parts of 'my way' were used, and someone else's were also used, and the result sounded great.

The patience I exercised waiting while other people worked out and presented their ideas. Then I asked permission(!) to present mine. I felt... virtuous(!?!). (I find it weird to use the word virtuous to describe any thought or action of mine, but that is the word that came). It felt right, and the proof was in the playing.

File under: Patience/virtue.

There were a few more moments like that, too.

And it was one of the most enjoyable - and productive - rehearsals ever.

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 Food and Diet Section

2013 daily weight

Today's Weight:         211.2 lbs

Yesterday's Weight:     210.2 lbs

Day Net Loss/Gain:      + 1.0 lbs

Diet Comment

Okay - no turnaround... yet. 

Food Log 

Breakfast

Cocoa-kale-hemp-chia protein shake: Almond milk, kale, cocoa, hemp seeds, chia gel, a large egg, vanilla whey powder (24g protein), cinnamon, vanilla, psyllium and stevia-inulin blend.

Lunch

Wild-caught salmon and black beans salad on Spring Mix and cole slaw blend.

Dinner
At Eskapes Tavern and Restaurant, where the light was too dim for a pic, I had an unbelievably delicious sandwich: Grilled salmon, bacon, lettuce and tomato with aioli on toasted pita with home-made crisp potato chips. Yeah, it is off-plan, but a) it was what the chef (a music fan) wanted to make and 2. It was pay for the gig I'd just played there. No regrets.

Liquid Intake   

   Coffee:  28 oz.   Water:  80+ oz.

Please leave a comment if you visit my blog. Thank you!