#1613, Friday, March 11: Nothing succeeds as planned

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Post 1613, Day 71 of 2016
- 1,897 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

Am I a Pollyanna? A "happy idiot"? Deluded? I'm asking myself this, because I have been challenged, because I am enjoying my "old age">
My "accuser" is not.

He has had a difficult in the last ten years, which he attributes to aging and disease. He is not happy with his life, which he feels is constrained by the limitations of his aging body. He measures his capacity for enjoyment against the period in his life where he had the greatest virility, social success, and creativity.

All of which he feels (despite evidence, to me, that they are mostly intact) have diminished due to age. He's not as virile, doesn't feel socially acceptable, let alone successful, and, for his family's sake (he says), he must live with compromises that he feels prevent his being happy.

He wants to go back - trade his old body for his younger, his times of no responsibility for the perceived weight of his current ones.

He spends a lot of time thinking about the future, perceived pessimistically as an unrewarding downward spiral to incontinence and decrepitude. And sees the only alternatives as cartoonish extremes: The old men who buy Thai wives, or play golden oldies in futile denial and an embarrassing imitation of youth.

Maybe my attitudes are like that. An element of denial, an element of glory-days pretending, an element of a fresh start and fantasy life.

In truth, though, I don't think so. I think I have found a place where I have support of the thing I am most passionate about: Playing music. Where my social life is well-integrated with that passion, and where I, in almost every way, have established a new life, separate and easily distinct from my past.

And it's a lot of fun. Somehow, this crumbling, post-industrial-grim and meteorologically uninviting part of the Universe has provided an environment that allows me, for now, a life-style, a life, a society that frees me to enjoy myself. Since my current needs don't include the hedonism I enjoyed forty or fifty years ago, and I don't spend a lot of time worrying about my future (even if I enjoy the game of planning it, and doing what I can to provide for it if/when it comes), my expectations, such as they are, are satisfied in the present. 

Nothing in my life has happened according to any plan I have ever made. Yet here I am. Happy and grateful. Satisfied? Not completely, but mainly - and grateful for what I have.

Of course, that's what I learned from Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. years ago: "Nothing succeeds as planned."

Food and Diet Section

Today's Weight:                   199.0 lbs.

Previous Weight (3/10):           199.4 lbs.

Net Loss/Gain:                   -  0.4 lbs.

Diet Comment

Thanks to on-plan eating, I've lost two pounds since last weekend, and I think this weekend won't be the same kind of weight-gaining deal as last, so I think the loss will stick.

Food Log

Breakfast
Skipped.

Lunch
At Core Grains, Greens and Broth:

Chicken Cobb salad (shredded kale and romaine, grilled chicken, avocado, bacon, hard-cooked egg and blue cheese dressing with a little sriracha). Not shown: A cup of chicken bone broth.

Snack
Celery with home-made mayonnaise, pork rinds and cottage cheese.

Dinner
Almond butter.

Liquid Intake
   Espressos: 1;  Coffee:  30 oz.;  Water: 60+ oz. 

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#1612, Thursday, March 10: Moody baby steps

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Post 1612, Day 70 of 2016
- 1,896 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

Well, that went well. Instead of lying around in bed fooling around on my MacBook all day, I'm sitting in front of the computer and the TV.

Not that there's anything wrong with that. I still did everything that had to be done. I still kept appointments I had, and I still went out and played.

And, maybe it's just a little better. I'm getting dressed earlier. I'm ready to do something productive, should the mood strike.

Baby steps.

Food and Diet Section

Today's Weight:                   199.4 lbs.

Previous Weight (3/9):            199.8 lbs.

Net Loss/Gain:                   -  0.4 lbs.

Diet Comment

Nice. An eighteen hour fast, good eating, and the result is keeping the weight down and under the trend line.

Food Log

Breakfast
Skipped.

Lunch
Green protein shake with almond-coconut milk, kefir, extra-large organic egg, chia gel, kale, whey powder (36g protein), almond butter, hemp seeds, hemp protein (7g protein), raw organic cacao powder, celery, moringa leaf powder, cinnamon, and stevia-inulin blend.

Dinner
Sliced sriracha chicken breast with cole slaw, cottage cheese and a Quest bar with almond butter.

Liquid Intake
   Espressos: 0;  Coffee:  30 oz.;  Water: 84+ oz. and a shot of Jameson's Irish whiskey

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#1611, Wednesday, March 9: Change is good

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Post 1611, Day 69 of 2016
- 1,895 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

I have decided to move the MacBook out of the bedroom.

I'm not sure if spending the time sitting instead of lying is better or worse, but mornings are like Brian Wilson's bedroom shut-in here.

Is this the solution to a problem? I don't know. I'm not sure there is a problem, but it just doesn't feel right to me, and the fix is easy.

Here's the thing: I decided to do this a few days ago. But the habit/addiction runs deep.

I must resist stasis. After all, change is good.

Food and Diet Section

Today's Weight:                   199.8 lbs.

Previous Weight (3/8):            200.0 lbs.

Net Loss/Gain:                   -  0.2 lbs.

Diet Comment

No progress - it's my own fault - a little too much alcohol, followed by a high-salt late-night snack... Wait a minute - shouldn't I have gained weight?

Food Log

Breakfast
Skipped.

Lunch
Skipped.

Dinner

Omelet with peppers, onion, greens, chia seeds, hemp seeds, cheese and bacon. Not shown: Wasabi peas.

Snack
Sliced London broil with Philippe's hot mustard, cottage cheese, kimchi and a Quest bar with almond butter.

Liquid Intake
   Espressos: 1;  Coffee:  30 oz.;  Water: 84+ oz. and a shot of Jameson's Irish whiskey

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#1610, Tuesday, March 8: Getting around to the important-but-not-urgent

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Post 1610, Day 68 of 2016
- 1,894 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

I am still enjoying my retirement. I am still in the 'honeymoon phase'. I am still trying to figure it out.

So far, I have been treating it as a permanent weekend, and perhaps that will stick, but I think it won't.

I am not getting everything done I want to do. Goals I set are not being approached, because I see them as open-ended. No deadlines. No pressure.

This, I think, is what some people are afraid of when they stop working. The loss of structure, of time-pressure, of regularly scheduled activities as an organizing factor.

I am not afraid of any of that, mostly because I limit my vision to what I can see before me. But I'm pretty sure that I will find some kind of rhythm where important-but-not-urgent stuff gets done. Right now, that isn't happening so much.

Right now, I take care of the important-and-urgent stuff (things on a schedule, like bills, rehearsals, open mics, gigs, friend meet-ups, and so on). I also take care of some unimportant-but-entertaining things that I can do ad hoc.

That latter is taking up a lot of my time, and some of that time needs to be redirected to the more important things that don't necessarily offer immediate gratification.

And that will happen. As soon as I get around to it.

Food and Diet Section

Today's Weight:                   200.0 lbs.

Previous Weight (3/7):            201.0 lbs.

Net Loss/Gain:                   -  1.0 lbs.

Diet Comment

A day of good eating, and I'm right back on track.

Food Log

Breakfast
Skipped.

Lunch
Green protein shake with almond-coconut milk, kefir, extra-large organic egg, chia gel, kale, whey powder (36g protein), almond butter, hemp seeds, hemp protein (7g protein), raw organic cacao powder, celery, moringa leaf powder, cinnamon, and stevia-inulin blend.

Dinner 
Salmon patty, kimchi, curried cauliflower and red beans, and cottage cheese.

Snack
A bag of incredibly hot, spicy pork rinds, and a Quest bar.

Liquid Intake
   Espressos: 2;  Coffee:  0 oz.;  Water: 80+ oz. and many shots of Jameson's Irish Whiskey

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#1609, Monday, March 7: Post-weekend recovery

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Post 1609, Day 67 of 2016
- 1,893 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

Monday as a rest day? Sure.

I expend the most physical energy on the weekends.

For instance, yesterday (Sunday), I was house bass at a jam, playing on and off (mostly on) for four-and-a-half hours, not including setup and teardown (minor) and transportation.

I went back home, brought up my gear, made dinner, then went to another open mic. And after that, another.

And while I don't consider my playing work, and certainly not labor, it does require an expenditure of energy.

And that means there's a recovery period involved.

Since I'm old, the recovery periods are longer than they used to be. Since I'm basically lazy, that's okay.

So I took it easy today. Laundry needed to get done, so it got done. Some 'work' in the form of personal finance stuff came in the mail (have I mentioned that this transition from working to retirement is plagued with a bunch of minutiae in the personal finance area? Well, I have now) and that got dealt with. Not easy, because one of my main credit card websites was offline.

Of course, I deal with these things lying in bed. Not much effort involved.

Food and Diet Section

Today's Weight:                   201.0 lbs.

Previous Weight (3/4):            198.8 lbs.

Net Loss/Gain:                   +  2.2 lbs.

Diet Comment

I didn't eat particularly well over the weekend (even leading up to the weekend), and my digressions included lots of grains and some desserts. And here we are, a kilo up. At least it's easily fixable.

Food Log

Breakfast
Skipped.

Lunch
Green protein shake with almond-coconut milk, kefir, extra-large organic egg, chia gel, kale, whey powder (36g protein), almond butter, hemp seeds, hemp protein (7g protein), raw organic cacao powder, celery, moringa leaf powder, cinnamon, and stevia-inulin blend.

Dinner 
Sriracha chicken breast, kimchi, and a Quest bar.

Snack
Grilled cheese sandwich (Ezekiel 4:9 Flax sprouted grain bead) and cole slaw.

Liquid Intake
   Espressos: 2;  Coffee:  0 oz.;  Water: 72+ oz. 

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#1608, Friday, March 4: Post-retirement intimacy

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Post 1608, Day 64 of 2016
- 1,890 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

There are all these little things that distract you when you're in the transition phase of retirement, figuring out how life will work going forward.

I'm allowing myself a lot of leeway with that. I don't do things I'd planned. I take care of the necessities, and tolerate distractions. And sloth.

I have my MacBook on a hospital tray next to my bed, so I can pull it over and do computer stuff. That means spending a lot of time in bed, because I enjoy that. (I'm writing this in bed.)

I am assuming this isn't a good thing. Bad sleep hygiene, for one. And it also means that, if only because it is so entertaining, such a time toilet, it fuels procrastination, delaying doing things I might otherwise do, for better or worse.

Maybe it is my substitute for intimacy. I don't have much of that going on in my life. I'm under no illusions - I don't talk to it, or confuse it with animate objects. There is little emotion.

On the other hand, no way I would have it in the bedroom if I was living with someone else.

Maybe I should think more about my intimacy issues.

Food and Diet Section

Today's Weight:                   198.8 lbs.

Previous Weight (3/3):            199.6 lbs.

Net Loss/Gain:                   -  0.8 lbs.

Diet Comment

Great weight loss continues, and I feel fine. Also, notice I've recalibrated the chart, to give me room to lose more, although weight loss isn't a goal today.

Food Log

Breakfast
Skipped.

Lunch
At Core Grains, Greens and Broth:

Chicken Cobb salad (shredded kale and romaine, grilled chicken, avocado, bacon, hard-cooked egg and blue cheese dressing with a little sriracha). Not shown: A cup of beef bone broth.

Dinner 
At Eskapes: 

Blackened scallops BST salad (BST is bacon, spinach and tomato) on pita bread. Not shown: A peanut butter cookie.

Snack
Roast beef with Philippe's hot mustard and kimchi.

Snack redux
Almond butter and a Quest bar.

Liquid Intake
   Espressos: 0;  Coffee:  42 oz.;  Water: 70+ oz. plus a glass of merlot and a shot of Jameson's.

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#1607, Thursday, March 3: Dangerous precedent

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Post 1607, Day 63 of 2016
- 1,889 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

I'm not much into politics. Over the course of my lifetime, I haven't seen where politics has had an important effect on me, personally.

All the times I've gotten politically involved, it has been due to my perception of the effects of policy on society, working for or (mostly against) the common good.

I have voted in every Presidential election since 1972. The first time my vote wasn't 100% in opposition to the Republican candidate was in 2008. I estimate about 25% of my vote was due to Obama's promises - but I would have voted for an unpolished stone running against McCain-Palin.

I went to the opening of Syracuse for Sanders HQ today. I saw a few friends there, and expected I would.

It's a simple calculation: I agree with Sanders, and have agreed with him from the very first time I became aware of him, as the Independent Senator from Vermont.

I have gone more than five years without mentioning politics in this blog.

Shit. I should have probably let that stand.

Food and Diet Section

Today's Weight:                   199.6 lbs.

Previous Weight (3/2):            199.8 lbs.

Net Loss/Gain:                   -  0.2 lbs.

Diet Comment

I am glad that I was wrong, thinking last night's drinking would cause weight gain.

Food Log

Breakfast
Skipped.

Lunch
Green protein shake with almond-coconut milk, kefir, extra-large organic egg, chia gel, kale, whey powder (36g protein), almond butter, hemp seeds, hemp protein (7g protein), raw organic cacao powder, celery, moringa leaf powder, cinnamon, and stevia-inulin blend.

Snack
Pepperoni, cheese and a chocolate chip cookie (Syracuse for Sanders HQ opening).

Dinner

Salmon salad (Wild Alaska pink salmon, celery, mayonnaise) on baby kale, baby spinach, chard and cole slaw mix.

Snack
Almond butter and a Quest bar.

Liquid Intake
   Espressos: 1;  Coffee:  42 oz.;  Water: 64+ oz. and a shot of Jameson's.

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#1606, Wednesday, March 2: "Are you bored yet?"

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Post 1606, Day 62 of 2016
- 1,888 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

At lunch with friends, Carol, the "retired" hostess at Core Greens, Grains and Broth asks me, "Are you bored yet?".

Hell, no!

I do have a little guilt over my lack of productivity - but that's something I will get over. I am retired. I do not think there is a mandate to be "Productive".

Another retired person, this one a musician friend, launches into a recommendation about filling every minute, that it is important to stay busy.

When he's done, it isn't hard to convince him to honor my belief that I have to work it out for myself, this is all new to me, and I will figure out what works best, but so far, which is only thirty-one days, it is going really well, and I am at least as happy as I was before I retired.

I've been having a lot of fun.

I am monitoring and managing what I need to and am satisfied that I am taking care of my business, what there is of it.

And having a great time, too.

Food and Diet Section

Today's Weight:                   199.8 lbs.

Previous Weight (3/1):            200.2 lbs.

Net Loss/Gain:                   -  0.4 lbs.

Diet Comment

Today I feel I have pretty much recovered from vacation weight gain.

Food Log

Breakfast
Skipped.

Lunch
At Core Grains, Greens and Broth:

Chicken broth bowl: with kale, baby spinach, grilled chicken, mushrooms, broccoli, cauliflower, black beans, ginger. Not shown: A large macadamia nut cookie.

Dinner
Melted cheese and bacon on Ezekiel 4:9 Flax sprouted grain bread with kimchee and a Quest bar.

Snack
Cole slaw and a Quest bar.

Liquid Intake
   Espressos: 1;  Coffee:  20 oz.;  Water: 72+ oz. and three shots of Jameson's.

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#1605, Tuesday, March 1: Mundane to extraordinary in a day

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Post 1605, Day 61 of 2016
- 1,887 days since I started this blog -

Daily Comment

I'm feeling good about the day.

Although, it was mostly very mundane, that's kind of what I'm feeling good about.

I did some cleaning.

I played some guitar.

I took care of some personal finance stuff (got my first pension payment from the VA and it was wrong, at least, that's what I thought until I cleared up what was going on by internet detective work.

Played some guitar.

Watched some TV.

Went out and had a great time at an open mic, where I got to play with some new friends on a brand new (to me) bass I just got back from repair.

Mundane topped off with some sublime. I'm digging it.

Food and Diet Section

Today's Weight:                   200.2 lbs.

Previous Weight (2/29):           200.8 lbs.

Net Loss/Gain:                   -  0.6 lbs.

Diet Comment

It is gratifying to see how my eating style regulates my weight so well. As much a matter of attention as content, I think. That's what this blog was originally designed to do: Force me to pay attention to (and take responsibility for)what I was eating.

Food Log

Breakfast
Skipped.

Lunch
Sauteed baby greens and eggs with onions, tomatoes, peppers, chia seeds, hemp seeds and cheese. And a side of (burnt) bacon.

Dinner
Roast beef, cole slaw, and a Quest bar.

Liquid Intake
   Espressos: 1;  Coffee:  30 oz.;  Water: 68+ oz. and a shot of Tullamore Dew.

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