#2347: Thursday, September 19: I don't like him/her

Post 2347

- 8 years and 262 days since I started this blog -

  

Daily Comment

All my life, there has been a minority of people I don't like among people I know or am acquainted with.

The reason is basically always the same: They have behaved in a way that was hurtful to me or someone I liked.

I have judged them, and put them in a special status (people I don't like) based on that judgment.

That isn't something I like about myself, that judgment. Basically, it says as much about me as it does about them. I know I don't want to feel like I'm being judged, as much as I like compliments when I get them from someone who has judged me and found something they liked.

In my defense, two things: I judge myself just as much, and only in recent years have I learned to forgive myself for those things I dislike about myself. And, in the past, I have been much more forgiving of other people, those I like and don't like.

I have also changed my mind, and come to like somebody I hadn't.

Because judging assumes understanding, and understanding other people isn't something I or other people I know do a good job of - it isn't in humans to see that deeply into ourselves (so much of our behavior comes from subconscious influence) or in others (we are not a mind-reading species).

So, I believe in judge not, lest ye be judged.

Judging is never kind, even when the judgment comes out positive. It is ego-centered. It is imperfect, as it must be when done by imperfect humans.

I still do it. Certain behaviors put me on the defensive.

Still, because I know that my judgment, my thinking, is imperfect, I don't hold a grudge. I try never to be rude to people I don't like. And when I see someone I have passed judgment on in this way, I turn it around and ask myself, what is it that they did that I don't like in myself?

Because when it comes to these things, it's all about ego - all about me. 

I am grateful for the lessons this kind of thinking - about judging - have taught me.

Food and Diet 

Today's Weight:                    202.6 lbs.

Previous Weight (9/18/19):         204.9 lbs.

Net Loss/Gain:                     - 2.2 lbs.

Diet Comment

Nice, big move on the day. There's hope for tomorrow! Always.

Food Log

Breakfast
4:45pm:

LEO salad (wild-caught smoked salmon, free-range eggs, onions, turmeric, arugula, chard, kale, red cabbage, spinach, walnuts).

Lunch
Skipped.

Dinner
11:45pm: London broil and cole slaw, carrots and homemade mayonnaise, and a Quest bar.

Liquid Intake

   Espressos: 2;   Coffee: 0 oz.;  Water: 72+ oz.; a shot of Jameson's Irish whiskey.

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#2346: Wednesday, September 18: Short non-comment

Post 2346

- 8 years and 261 days since I started this blog -

  

Daily Comment

I've been writing three pages a day of personal stuff, not for publication or for anyone else to read, for the last thirty-four days, with only one day where I didn't complete three pages (ref: 750words.com). I'm on a twenty day streak now. 

I'm also on my forty-third straight day of Spanish lessons on Duolingo.

I'm taking a day off from commenting here today.

I'm grateful to be alive.

Food and Diet 

Today's Weight:                    204.9 lbs.

Previous Weight (9/17/19):         203.9 lbs.

Net Loss/Gain:                     + 1.0 lbs.

Diet Comment

Lose a pound, gain a pound. I'm back where I started this week. not good.

Food Log

Breakfast
4:00pm: Blue-green protein smoothie with almonds, kefir, large organic egg, chia gel, kale, spinach, blueberries, whey powder (24g protein), coconut oil, hemp seeds, hemp protein (7g protein), raw organic cacao powder, moringa leaf powder, fo ti (mushroom powder), cinnamon, turmeric and stevia-inulin blend.

Lunch
7:45pm: A Quest bar.

Dinner
1:05am: London broil and parmesan cheese with coleslaw, carrots and homemade mayonnaise, and a Quest bar.

Liquid Intake

   Espressos: 2;   Coffee: 20 oz.;  Water: 74+ oz.; 2 shots of Jameson's Irish whiskey.

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#2345: Tuesday, September 17: More of the usual

Post 2345

- 8 years and 260 days since I started this blog -

  

Daily Comment

Tonight I played at a couple of open mics.

That's kind of what I do. It's fun. I do fun.

I try not to have expectations. I don't expect any place or event to be fun. But it isn't a stretch to say that any place I go, I have fun. Because it isn't a goal, it's a mindset that converts most experiences to fun.

It isn't perfect, but...

It tends to be the kind of thing where an attitude that doesn't place demands on a situation or a scene, that approaches a situation trying to make a good time happen out of whatever is there will attract a good time, and people will want to join in, participate.

Tonight, I did that twice. First, at Limp Lizard's open mic, I played on two sets accompanying a people I've played with before, who asked for me to be on their set, and everything clicked and it sounded great, which means everybody had a good time.

Then, at Maxwell's open mic, I played my first ever bass-and-vocal set. I did it as a kind of goof - a statement about the fact that nobody ever does that, and it went over well. Then, the host asked me to jam with her. Although I've known her and played with her for nearly nine years, this is the first time that has happened. It came out great, and I got a chance to improvise on a song I'd never heard before, and even took a couple of solos.

Which led to the next (and last) set of the night, where a couple of guitarists asked me to stay up and play with them, also songs I didn't know, and they were very happy with the results.

And we all had a good time.

I couldn't be more grateful for how this seems self-perpetuating.

Food and Diet 

Today's Weight:                    203.9 lbs.

Previous Weight (9/16/19):         204.9 lbs.

Net Loss/Gain:                     - 1.0 lbs.

Diet Comment

I'm impressed that, even with the gigantic quantity of food I ended up eating last night, I still managed to drop a pound.

Food Log

Breakfast
5:15pm, at CoreLife Eatery: 

Korean BBQ Pork: Quinoa, kimchi, cucumbers, spicy broccoli, Sriracha sprouts, fried egg, slow-roasted pork, ginger, and korean bbq sauce. Not shown: Two-scoop ice cream cup with a scoop each of Gannon's Chocolate PB and Espresso Chip ice cream.

Lunch
Skipped.

Dinner
1:05am: London broil on Super Grains bread with homemade turmeric mayonnaise, riced cauliflower with chia seeds, butter and parmesan cheese, and a Quest bar.

Liquid Intake

   Espressos: 2;   Coffee: 0 oz.;  Water: 72+ oz.; a shot of Jameson's Irish whiskey.

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#2344: Monday, September 16: Weekend update

Post 2344

- 8 years and 259 days since I started this blog -

  

Daily Comment

What a weekend! 

It began with a drive to the Philadelphia suburb of Ardmore on Friday, bringing Frank to the first tour date with Black Uhuru, and ended with a drive from New York City back home to play at the Valley Blues House pro jam.

In between, I met up with some friends from the old neighborhood, at Little Bay Park, in Queens, under the Throggs Neck Bridge, where we used to hang out in the sixties and seventies.

Every bit of it was a good time. 

The drive to Ardmore was easy and the show was great! 

Meeting up with Merv in Manhattan turned out to be a trial of patience, as the traffic was seriously bad, with streets closed and parades (St. Gennaro's Feast) creating a nightmare getting out of Manhattan. The reward was getting together with friends I have known for almost sixty years, with the opportunity to catch up and have lots of laughs, then even more of it all at a good deli nearby.

The drive up from the City couldn't have been much smoother, until the very end where I encountered rain in Onondaga County (where I live). But the rain was gone by the time I went to Valley Blues House, and I had a good night there. In particular, a drummer I had enjoyed playing with once before turned out to be one of the best bass players I've ever heard, with great tone and exquisite technique; but he still insisted on accompanying me on drums - he wanted to play with me. I was flattered and grateful - it made my night.

The only negatives involve what I didn't get to do, and what I ate.

What I didn't get to do is see my brother and sister-in-law, and visit some more friends.

What I ate was a bunch of excellent-tasting, high-quality off-plan food, OR (while traveling) some convenient shit.

So it goes. The good far outweighs the bad (pun intended).

Times like this, I appreciate my life. I'm so grateful to have good friends, great opportunities to enjoy myself, and good enough health to enjoy both.

Food and Diet 

Today's Weight:                    204.9 lbs.

Previous Weight (9/12/19):         201.3 lbs.

Net Loss/Gain:                     + 3.6 lbs.

Diet Comment

While I didn't anticipate this much of a weight gain, while I was eating the delicious and fattening food I had for three days straight, I knew what the result was going to be. So, we begin to lose weight now. Or maybe, tomorrow, because my eating got out of hand at the end of the night.

Food Log

Breakfast
4:45pm:

Warm salmon and eggs salad (wild-caught salmon, free-range eggs, turmeric, sauteed greens with onions and peppers, arugula, chard, kale, red cabbage, spinach, balsamic vinaigrette).

Lunch
7:30pm: A Quest bar.

Snack
9:30pm: A Quest bar.

Dinner
1:05am: London broil/grilled cheese sandwich on Super Grains bread, carrots and homemade turmeric mayonnaise, and walnuts and greek yogurt.

Liquid Intake

   Espressos: 2;   Coffee: 0 oz.;  Water: 84+ oz.; 

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Thank you!

#2343: Thursday, September 12: Long weekend coming

Post 2343

- 8 years and 255 days since I started this blog -

  

Daily Comment

Today, I played with Frank and Mike, the drummer who introduced us more than ten years ago. This was the first time this trio has played together in more than six years, when we played at the Vermont Reggae Festival. It was a blast! Mike is one of my favorite drummers to play with. The outdoor gig started under threat of rain and ended in sunshine. It was a barbecue for a Charter school, and I really enjoyed the diversity of the audience (teachers, parents, students). 

It felt great. 

Tomorrow I'm driving Frank to Philadelphia where Black Uhuru (he's their lead guitarist for about thirty years) are starting a short East Coast tour.

I saw the band once before, at a festival (I don't remember any details, or Frank being in the band then - it was decades before I met him). I wish I didn't know about all the internal bullshit and squabbles, but I've seen a lot of video of the band playing live, and I'm really looking forward to seeing them tomorrow.

I have concerns about my car, but not much.

Saturday is the annual reunion with my Clearview friends. This will, without a doubt, include a bit of a memorial for Bobby Axelrod, who died last weekend. Still, looking forward to seeing my old friends.

Sunday? Well, we'll see.

Tomorrow's a travel day, so no blog post.

I am grateful for such an interesting life. Every moment.

Food and Diet 

Today's Weight:                    201.3 lbs.

Previous Weight (9/11/19):         201.5 lbs.

Net Loss/Gain:                     - 0.2 lbs.

Diet Comment

Holding pattern.

Food Log

Breakfast
6:15pm: Salmon, eggs, kale, spinach, onions and peppers sauté.

Lunch
Skipped.

Dinner
1:05am: Dubliner cheese and walnuts, blueberries and greens smoothie (blueberries, kale, spinach, almonds, kefir, chia gel, stevia-inulin blend.

Liquid Intake

   Espressos: 2;   Coffee: 0 oz.;  Water: 64+ oz.; 1 shots of Jameson's Irish whiskey.

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Thank you!

#2342: Wednesday, September 11: Going by with little notice

Post 2342

- 8 years and 254 days since I started this blog -

  

Daily Comment

By and large, I ignored the eighteenth anniversary of the events of 9/11/01.

The world changed for the worse. Very little has gotten better since, on a national and international scale.

Since, I have had some hard times, but I am very near the ninth anniversary of things turning around for me (approximately October, 2010).

Every bad experience in my life has delivered me to where I am now - a pretty good place.

I was unemployed on 9/11/01. I saw the whole thing happen on TV, because I was very involved with the stock market, and CNBCs studios were a couple of blocks from the World Trade Center. The show was live. When the first plane hit, the camera in the studio shook.

The US's terrible foreign policy had come home to roost.

I'm grateful to the first responders. On a political level, I dislike everything that's happened since. On a personal level, it didn't mean anything except travel became less exciting, more inconvenient, and, for nothing.

Food and Diet 

Today's Weight:                    201.5 lbs.

Previous Weight (9/10/19):         200.7 lbs.

Net Loss/Gain:                     + 0.8 lbs.

Diet Comment

I expected this - I had quite a bit of off-plan food yesterday, including cake, and I haven't been sleeping well, either.

Food Log

Breakfast
6:15pm: Bacon and eggs with a chopped salad (arugula, chard, kale, red cabbage, spinach, shaved parmesan cheese, walnuts, balsamic vinaigrette).

Lunch
9:00pm: A Quest bar.

Dinner
1:05am: Dal tadka (lentil curry) and brussel sprouts, and a Quest bar.

Liquid Intake

   Espressos: 2;   Coffee: 0 oz.;  Water: 84+ oz.; a shot of Jameson's Irish whiskey.

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Thank you!

#2341: Tuesday, September 10: The energy problem

Post 2341

- 8 years and 253 days since I started this blog -

  

Daily Comment

I rarely have a low-energy problem when I go out, but it happens.

I ran out of steam early tonight.

It happened hours after eating some birthday cake (a big slice) after playing some songs at Limp Lizard Liverpool (as that branch of the local BBQ chain is known).

And only a few minutes after having a shot of Jameson's, neat.

Of course, I didn't get good sleep last night, either.

And I am dealing with the psychic drain of my car situation. 

Am I getting old? Well, I am old. Usually I don't feel it like this. Usually, being out energizes me (as opposed to lying around in bed, which doesn't, or, maybe, energizes me in a different way.

It makes me a little more certain and desirous of my plans for expatriating at the end of next year, even while I hold out some hope that I am Fool will get back to form.

If I am Fool returned to viability, I would put off a permanent move out of Syracuse. This week's canceled rehearsals (due to more J illness) just slims down the odds of that happening.

My car situation also reinforces my desire to move to a place where I don't need one.

I'm just grateful that I still have the optimism to make plans.

Food and Diet 

Today's Weight:                    200.7 lbs.

Previous Weight (9/9/19):          201.7 lbs.

Net Loss/Gain:                     - 1.0 lbs.

Diet Comment

Great! Unfortunately, today's eating is not consistent with weight loss, or maintenance. So it goes.

Food Log

Breakfast
4:30pm: Bacon and eggs with riced cauliflower, sautéed greens, and chia seeds.

Lunch
7:00pm, at Limp Lizard BBQ (Liverpool): Fried catfish with spicy tartar sauce, sweet potato fries, hellfire chili and cole slaw. And a big piece of birthday cake.

Dinner
12:05am: Walnuts, almonds, and a Quest bar.

Liquid Intake

   Espressos: 2;   Coffee: 24 oz.;  Water: 70+ oz.; a shot of Jameson's Irish whiskey.

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Thank you!

#2340: Monday, September 9: Current events

Post 2340

- 8 years and 252 days since I started this blog -

  

Daily Comment

Another appointment to repair the car made.

Getting the negative externals out of the way first is good, right?

The gig on Saturday went very, very well. Frank and Bob were great. I hung in, and looked pretty.

I (finally) got together with Brian Modafferi, and we're cool.

I decided to drive Frank to Philadelphia this Friday, and I'll be catching the Black Uhuru show that night.

I got a mystery gig with Frank and a drummer TBD Thursday afternoon.

Things are humming here at Rancho Revemundo.

I'm grateful for that. And being here to appreciate it.

Food and Diet 

Today's Weight:                    201.7 lbs.

Previous Weight (9/6/19):          201.2 lbs.

Net Loss/Gain:                     + 0.5 lbs.

Diet Comment

Given the blow-out day I had on Saturday, I'm pretty happy with these results. I do want to lose some of that in the coming week, though.

Food Log

Breakfast
Skipped.

Lunch

Veggie fritta (kale, spinach, onions, peppers, eggs, Dubliner cheese, chia seeds, sriracha). Not shown: A Quest bar.

Dinner
1:05am: Whipped cottage cheese and walnuts, and a Quest bar.

Liquid Intake

   Espressos: 2;   Coffee: 0 oz.;  Water: 72+ oz.; 

 Please leave a comment when you visit my blog.
Thank you!